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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Dog advice, desperate.. To put to sleep or not?

27 replies

Flatearthersphere · 19/07/2018 20:19

Posting on behalf of a family member

We have a dog who is 14 years old, her sister died 3 years ago and she has never been the same, pining for her constantly and quite restless.

She has been urinating on and off in the house for months, she is now doing it several times daily and even does it straight after being outside, she doesn't appear to have any control over it. The vet just says it's old age and nothing can be done.

Overall, she runs about, eats all of her dinner, appears to be healthy. What do I do? Nobody will look after her for me now that she's doing this when I'm at work and I work nights. And my carpets are completely ruined.

I don't see how I can put her to sleep just because of this as she is otherwise well but I don't know how to cope with this.

OP posts:
adoggymama · 19/07/2018 20:20

Give her love. She must be grieving. She's an otherwise healthy dog, she needs you. Puppy pads may help, or even putting plastic matting down on the carpets. Please don't give up on her. X

Ummmmgogo · 19/07/2018 20:20

pts. but I'm not a dog lover.

wellBeehivedWoman · 19/07/2018 20:22

She needs love and care now more than ever. There are ways of mitigating the damage she does. I couldn't put an otherwise healthy dog down for this alone.

Krate · 19/07/2018 20:22

I would not put her to sleep if she were my dog. She still has quality of life. My oldest dog is 14 years old and is doing the same thing but in all other things he is still loving life.

Get a carpet cleaning machine, put her in a room with puppy pads, get a house sitter if you need to go away.

Meandyouandyouandme · 19/07/2018 20:23

My dog has bladder incontinence, it’s an age thing, lack of a hormone apparently, and she has a drug called uralin twice a day and she’s doing ok on that. She’s 13.5 years old and has been on it for about 4 years. You could try that, unless you already have.

DoYouLikeHueyLewisandTheNews · 19/07/2018 20:23

This is going to sound ridiculous but our dog did this. We bought him a doggy nappy (yes it's a thing). He learnt why he needed it on in the house and loved it. He was comfy and would respond to the command for us to put it on happily so he could sit with us and play in the house. You use inserts inside it. It has a hole for the tail and was well designed. This was 8 years ago so probably come on further now.

MishMashMosher · 19/07/2018 20:23

You can't pts just because she is messing your carpets. If she's not in pain she doesn't deserve to be pts. This is what you signed up for when you got a dog. Any chance of getting hard flooring? Puppy pads?

Meandyouandyouandme · 19/07/2018 20:24

My vet said the same thing, it’s old age, I googled and found out about this drug. I was mystified as to why the vet didn’t suggest it.

Bunbunbunny · 19/07/2018 20:25

If she’s still eating don’t put her to sleep, you will know when it’s her time it’s not now. Put the puppy pads down and restrict what rooms she can go in whilst you are out

Singlenotsingle · 19/07/2018 20:25

What sort of dog is it? 14 is quite a good age. If you dont want to pts then build her an outdoor weatherproof kennel and keep her outside.

Original poster
Flatearthersphere · 19/07/2018 20:27

I should have mentioned,
This family member is in a rented house and husband recently left her so the work shifts weren't previously a problem. I will let her know about the drug as no the vet hasn't mentioned that.

OP posts:
VetOnCall · 19/07/2018 20:27

Take her back to the vet and take a fresh urine sample with you. Did they test a sample previously and/or discuss trying her on medication such as propalin? There are things that can be tried for urinary incontinence in dogs so I'm very surprised that your vet said that unless there are other issues that you haven't mentioned.

To manage it shut her in one easily cleaned room when you're not there e.g. kitchens are unlikely to be carpeted. These are excellent: www.jacobsden.co.uk/the-wet-dog-mat.html

If she is otherwise healthy and happy and has been a loved pet for 14 years it would be unconscionable to me to have her pts because she can't always control her bladder. You need to see the vet again - try a different vet perhaps.

Original poster
Flatearthersphere · 19/07/2018 20:27

She is a jack Russel.

OP posts:
VetOnCall · 19/07/2018 20:28

Do not put a 14 year old dog that is used to being in the house in an outside kennel! Jesus, I despair of people sometimes.

Tink2007 · 19/07/2018 20:28

Keep her outside? I’m assuming for the last 14 years of her life, this dog has been inside with the OP. You can’t just throw her in a kennel outside.

Original poster
Flatearthersphere · 19/07/2018 20:36

She can't sleep outside, she very much needs lots of love and closeness since she lost her sister. She sleeps on my family members bed.

And for the people being rude, this person doesn't want to put the dog to sleep, she's asked me to help her find out how to manage the situation. As her husband has fucked off and left her in a situation she didn't expect and cannot afford to give up work or become homeless.

OP posts:
Bananarama12 · 19/07/2018 20:39

There is a drug that can help with this. I wouldn't advise pts for incontinence. See a different vet.

VetOnCall · 19/07/2018 20:42

You've had good suggestions:
Different vet
Urine sample
Discuss medication options
Put her bed in an uncarpeted room when at work overnight
Put down puppy pads
Get a wet dog mat to protect bedding if budget allows - they really do work.

I would also suggest encouraging her to go at least twice each time you let her out, this can help for dogs who aren't totally emptying their bladder in one go. This is easier if you have a cue word for toileting but just walking her around the garden a few more times will help.

Original poster
Flatearthersphere · 19/07/2018 20:49

Thank you all, I've screenshotted all of this and sent it to her. She's so grateful, and is going to book with a different vet and different practice and ask about the drug.

OP posts:
Rowgtfc72 · 19/07/2018 20:53

I recently had my 16 yr old jack Russell pts. She'd been incontinent for about four years-I got used to mopping. She was an outdoor dog though so it was only overnight accidents.
She was still eating and going for short walks but dropping weight at a rate of knots. She was a good age and looking at her you could tell it was her time.
I don't think it's your dog's time.
See the vet about incontinence. Puppy pads are your friend. Walks after meals and drinks. You've got a few years left yet.
Still a difficult position to be in though.

JesusInTheCabbageVan · 19/07/2018 20:54

For the people being rude

Unusually for Aibu, nobody has been rude (yet)

mumsiedarlingrevolta · 19/07/2018 20:56

I would also suggest my my darling dog started to do this-turns out he had a bladder stone.
We live in an area with very hard water which could have made it worse.
I second a new vet...
I don't think it sounds like it's this dogs time either.
Good luck!!

worridmum · 19/07/2018 22:07

Dogs are commitments for life you get/buy them and they are with you until there death you do not murder them when they become a minor annoyance. If the animal is ill and there quality of life is poor then maybe PTS is the answer but just because they are having accidents is not right.

Armadillostoes · 19/07/2018 22:20

Please don't have her pts unless it is for her benefit rather than yours. Dogs are totally dependent on their human carers and getting one means taking on that commitment. There have been some helpful suggestions here and I really hope that you find a solution. You are clearly a caring person OP or you wouldn't have asked the question, and it does sound a hard situation. I hope things improve for you both.

WillowDogs · 19/07/2018 22:23

Some people have had success with a drug called 'propalin' I know another drug has already been suggested but just in case.

From a behaviour point of view do you think the dog could benefit from another dog companion? You describe her as pining. Maybe an older small male rescue would alleviate some of this. Sometimes having a companion can give a new lease of life. But it's obviously a large commitment and you would need to do a lot of research into the dog.

The flooring situation is probably unlikely to change. You could see if it is definitely health, I would suggest going back to basic positive toilet training, rewarding with food for every toilet outside. See if there's a reduction in accidents. The likelihood is that it is old age and you need to replace your carpet with hard floors. You could also try puppy pads, if she is struggling at least the scent of them might entice her to one place. If not they're quite absorbent so any on their should be easier to clean up after.

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