AIBU to be totally fucked off with this man?

[Murpher]

My house was broken into last night. Car keys and car stolen, nothing else. Difficult day with police, forensics, locksmiths, insurance companies and car hire people. I have a small holiday keys business which requires me to move around (in the car!) turning the properties around for new guests, so the-shuffling that all day. At the end of this day my partner tells me he’s fucking off to watch his son play sport. So, once I’ve finished cleaning this property, I’ll walk home with a dirty bag of bed linen and towels and sit on my own. Is it me?

Well - if he has promised his son he can't let him down.

Would he normally help you with your properties?

No, it’s not you. I’d be pretty pissed off, but I’d probably just get an Uber.

I get why you are pissed off. You’ve had a horrible experience and a shit day and this sounds like the final straw. It was probably shit for your DP too so it’s nice that he gets to unwind a bit with his son. I suggest you buy yourself a little treat on the way home and when you get in, kick back and relax and try and unwind. Maybe DP could bring you a takeaway.

His DC's more important than you, because you're a grown-up and can look after yourself, and that's his child.

Unless you're going to say his son is 21

You've had a shit day and you are understandably pissed off at the bastard burglar.

Channel rage into speed cleaning and then take a taxi home and put your feet up with wine and take out. Apologise to partner for being mardy, he is just being a good dad and is getting it in the neck from you because you can. Kiss and make up.

Am I right?

YABU. Just cos you've had an inconvience doesn't mean he can let his kid down. Get a taxi.

His son is 32 and has a child of his own. No he hasn’t had a shit day, just at work as usual.

32?
Well that puts a completely different slant on it.

Wasn't he burgled too or do you not live together?

I reckon it still stands, maybe he needs a breather.

LOL, OP you should have said in the post that his son was 32!

32?!! Yanbu. He could be forgiven if the kid was 7 or something. Has he shown any sympathy or concern at all?

I have 2 sons of my own (also adults) and put them before everything. I do ‘get’ the concept of parenting. I also ‘get’ the concept of supporting a partner.

I don't think kid's wants always trump an adults, kids and adults are both important...but his son's not exactly a wee little one at 32.

Bloody hell YANBU. Bin him. That's truly pathetic. Is his son playing in the Open?

I think the notion that kids should Always be put first and are always the number 1 priority is the reason why we now live in a world full of immature, spoiled, entitled, self-centered brats who make a pass at playing adult and are devastated when they realise the world doesn't actually revolve around them.

@Murpher

"I have 2 sons of my own (also adults) and put them before everything."

Then it's hypocritical to be mad at your partner for doing the same.

Murpher
I have 2 sons of my own (also adults) and put them before everything.

even though you also ‘get’ the concept of supporting a partner.

There is your answer

If you don't live with him have you asked him to come over after the football, obviously you must be worried about staying home alone after a burglary. Perhaps he needs that spelled out to him?

Ok, I’ve looked after him, alone, no help from family, through 3 knee operations whilst looking after my own boys. I’ve another knee op coming up to get him through and whilst I do give my boys priority, during his operations they had to take 2nd place. I don’t think that phrase should be taken quite so literally.

We do live together. The burglary wasn’t discovered until after he left this morning.

So there is a back story and it is all coming up because you had a crap day. Sorry OP, being burgled is shit, revert to my original post and put your annoyance at him out of your mind.

A bit of self care for now, feet up and wine. Tomorrow is another day and if you still feel the same way then well maybe it is time for some relationship requests.

Get a taxi, a bottle of wine and a takeaway for one!!!

It sounds like you have had a s**t day. Any reasonable partner would explain what has happened to their grown son and stay home with you. Apart from the awful day you've had you might not want to be alone in a house thats just been burgled. Mumsnetters really show a lack of empathy at times.

Let him fend for himself with the next knee op, his son is 32 and should be able to understand if his father prioritised you in this instance.
Is the house a mess from this morning? Do you think he's trying to get out of cleaning things up?

Next knee op is full replacement as other 3 didn’t work. It requires complete care, emptying piss bottles, showering, feeding everything as patient is completely incapable for at least 2/3 weeks. Actually, just writing this has made me realise what a schmuck I am. So thanks for listening.