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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Being unreasonable from my kid's perspective - food related.

66 replies

loopylass13 · 19/07/2018 16:39

I have a very fussy just turned 10 year old, who just had her first filling at the dentist (with two more needed) - feeling like the worst parent! As we have become a bit lacking in our good habits, I just needed some perspective on how to reduce sugar and the over snacking.

If you could tell me what your children's average day meal plan looks like then that would be helpful, what you feed them to maintain good body health/teeth health and so that are not driving you up the wall with the sugar pestering. Would I be unreasonable to say she can only have veg to snack on between meals? That the meals can't be so ready-made types anymore. She is outraged.

Example

Breakfast

Lunch

Dinner

Snacks and/or additional meals.

OP posts:
user1457017537 · 24/07/2018 07:50

I would look at what she is drinking. Tooth decay is linked to suggary drinks, ie Ribena and similar. Just let her have water or milk. If she does occasionally have a soft drink get her to drink through a cardboard straw.

Butteredparsn1ps · 24/07/2018 08:02

My feeling is that no snacking between meals would benefit her long term health far more than cutting down on sugary stuff and setting up a good food/bad food relationship.

At 10 puberty is heading down the track towards you. A child at the top of her BMI pre puberty is at risk of being an overweight teen, especially once she is at secondary and you have less control over her eating.

Only having sweet treats after meals will give her tooth enamel a chance too.

Constant snacking is bad for our teeth and our weight!

And it goes without saying that sugary drinks are for high days and holidays only.

loopylass13 · 24/07/2018 13:08

Meals are looking more and more like this - as I type she is on her 13th mushroom, had a few tomatoes, lettuce, 1/4 pie, red peppers etc. She has become a whole lot less food fussy and her mood swings have calmed quite drastically. Once she has eaten everything on her plate, she has the choice to have a bit more pie if still hungry (and that is what I've cooked etc). The healthier carbs are still not quite there but in time, I can see that increasing. The peanut butter sandwiches are awesome, using a organic low sugar more of the nut version which she is loves. No snacking happening at all - success! She is slowly eating more, yesterday I calculated she had 1300kcals. I read it should be closer to 1800kcals for a ten year old so we have some work to do but definitely not starving.

Being unreasonable from my kid's perspective - food related.
OP posts:
loopylass13 · 24/07/2018 13:11

Only ever had water - a pop/juice ban has always been something I've been good at enforcing.

OP posts:
pennycarbonara · 24/07/2018 13:12

That seems like a rapid change!

Would the veg be even more appetising cooked / mixed together as part of a dish - salad, stir fry, stew etc?

loopylass13 · 24/07/2018 13:14

This was a few days ago

Being unreasonable from my kid's perspective - food related.
OP posts:
loopylass13 · 24/07/2018 13:17

Seems I just needed to be firmer and enforce it, leave no room for getting around it and emptying house of junk. Cut screen eating too and she has to come sit at table. She was far from happy at first but adapted a hell of a lot quicker than I thought. I should have done this years ago!! She prefers raw veg/fruit, will investigate how I can mix it up a bit to keep it interesting (including cooked).

OP posts:
baxterboi · 24/07/2018 13:18

You did know water melon is full of sugar? You might as well let her binge on chocolate.

Watermelon sugar per 100g = 6g
Chocolate sugar per 100g = 48g avg.

BertrandRussell · 24/07/2018 13:21

"You did know water melon is full of sugar? You might as well let her binge on chocolate."

Yeah, sure. Meanwhile-back here in the real world.......

Bluntness100 · 24/07/2018 13:27

As much as her food is looking healthier, toast and mash for dinner is quite shocking, this little girl isn't eating enough. "Not starving" is not an acceptable barometer for a child. It will simply lead to bingeing.

There seems very little protein in there also. If she's not a fan of weetabix, then something else for brekkie.

Do you have a time or a financial constraint? I don't understand why she's eating as she is.

mikado1 · 24/07/2018 13:28

Imo, as a child brought up on Coco pops, psychedelic pink milk shake and chocolate spread sandwiches for 18y (no exaggeration), with one filling@30, oral hygiene more important wrt her teeth.

mindutopia · 24/07/2018 13:30

Does she eat meat? Or other kinds of protein and healthy fat? Looking at what you've posted it looks about the same quantity of food that my 5 year old eats (she can polish off a whole one of those mini pizzas though) and she's only 25th centile in weight.

Breakfast: what about eggs and toast, or sausages (incl veggie sausages) and fruit, or peanut butter and banana wrap, greek yogurt with fruit and nuts and a bit of honey, hummus and pita, it doesn't have to be 'breakfast' food, just something with a bit more fat and protein.

Lunch: Any sort of sandwich or wrap with carrot sticks or cucumbers, or oatcakes and cheese with raw veg and fruit, soup with toast, pizza and salad, hummus and pita again with raw veg.

Any sort of fruit, yogurt, or crackers with cheese for snack

For dinner: what do you eat? I'm assuming you don't eat fish fingers. Baked fish with sweet potato chips (just slice them into wedges, toss in olive oil, bake for about 50 minutes) and peas, lentil soup with toast, chickpea curry, veg or beef lasagna with salad or a veg of her choosing that she likes, chunky stews and soups with toast, any sort of roasted meat if she'll eat it with a bit of mash and veg that she likes (carrots, peas, etc.), omelette or frittata or quiche. We also offer fruit for pudding after dinner, but mine rarely has it now as she fills up enough at snacktime and dinner, especially if she's already eaten plenty of fruit during the day.

I think I would focus on healthy fats (nut butter) and proteins of whatever sort she'll eat plus vegetables. That fills you up the most. Then just keep the crisps and biscuits and simple carb snacks out of the house except for a treat. We might have them at the weekend, but they aren't around day to day so makes it easier not to mindlessly snack.

Cath2907 · 24/07/2018 13:37

My DD is underweight so perhaps not the best to go on. First things first I would remove sugary drinks like fruit juices and fizzy drinks completely. I'd also address the toothbrushing - if she won't brush properly you need to brush for her. An automatic toothbrush will help.

Keep snacking to defined times so she isn't grazing.

Mine has breakfast at 7:30am, snack at 10am, lunch at 1pm, snack at 3:30pm, tea at 6pm.

She has cereals, toast or pancakes for breakfast, banana for first snack, sandwich, crisps and veg sticks / sweetcorn for lunch with a yoghurt, biscuits for second snack and something like homemade spaghetti bol with cheese followed by cake for tea. (Tonight is sausage, baked potato, peas and home made chocolate chip cakes).

She only drinks water (her choice as to be honest I'd love to get a few high calorie cups of hot chocolate down her a day!)

Butteredparsn1ps · 24/07/2018 15:19

Those meals look delicious OP! sounds like you have found a route that works for you & DD!

loopylass13 · 25/07/2018 00:50

We are those types of vegetarians that eat fish (called something else) hence protein likely appearing a bit lacking. But I will look at increasing that and seeing where I can make more alterations, I likely just assumed it was enough but highlighting it will make me investigate. No calcium concerns at the moment, normally have a glass of unsweetened almond milk with calcium/B12/vitamin D every day. Just had some cheap soya milk in and was waiting for that to be used before getting our regular almond stuff again.

How did we get these bad habits - like all bad habits, they creep up on you slowly and sink their hooks in before you fully realise there is an issue. I have been concerned for a while about diet and tried to make attempts at change, the tooth issue has made it more of a pressing issue which kick started me into immediate action. Now I can see the change, there is no way I want back to where we were.

I am deeply grateful for all the advice and insight - it has helped!!

OP posts:
pennycarbonara · 25/07/2018 09:15

It sounds like you could do with using/trying some vegetarian proteins like pulses, Quorn and tofu.

What kinds of fish does she like?
Tuna?
Have you tried rollmop herrings? They need basically no preparation as you just have to take them out of the jar. And if you like vinegary tastes, can be really nice.

Vegetarian society page on protein: www.vegsoc.org/facts/protein
Vegan: www.vegansociety.com/sites/default/files/Protein_0.pdf

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