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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

if my almost 4yo DD2 is still sleeping in a cot bed?

35 replies

Rookiemummy2018 · 18/07/2018 22:11

DD2 will be 4 in a few months. She still sleeps happily in her cot (which is one of the bigger ones with a 140cm mattress) and we have kept the bars up. She has never really complained or tried to climb, although she is tall and perfectly capable of doing it. She can be very difficult at bed time, will fight sleep and keep herself entertained singing or playing with her cuddly toys, but still happy to be inside the cot really. Is it time to switch to a bed rail? Have we left it for too long?

OP posts:

monkeysox · 18/07/2018 22:13

What does she do when she needs a wee at night?!

FissionChips · 18/07/2018 22:15

That’s really weird. What if she needs to pee?

Just buy her a proper bed.

Original poster

Rookiemummy2018 · 18/07/2018 22:18

we are still on nappies at night. she calls out if she wants to pee, but she is almost never dry in the mornings.... should I stop that too?

OP posts:

welshweasel · 18/07/2018 22:18

Get her a single/double bed. At 4 she probably doesn’t need a bed guard.

TokyoSushi · 18/07/2018 22:19

It's definitely time to move to a bed OP!!

Thundercracker · 18/07/2018 22:20

DS was in a cot bed until nearly 7 because he has a small room - but not with the bars on!

I would take the bars off now and she won't really need a bed rail unless you think she would like to feel secure because she is used to the bars.

If she is nearly 4, is her birthday soon enough that she is starting reception in September? I'd take them off before she has any school friends round.

QuinnElle · 18/07/2018 22:20

Weird. Get the child a proper bed! She needs to learn / be allowed to take herself to the toilet at night.

Thundercracker · 18/07/2018 22:20

(Sorry, see you say "in a few months" so probably not starting school. Ignore me.)

Thewitchhadacat · 18/07/2018 22:22

She definitely needs the bars removed ASAP. Poor child should have the opportunity to go to the toilet if she needs to.

CrackerCrisp · 18/07/2018 22:23

My 3 year old is still in a cot bed but it’s a big one that fits up to aged 5. Sides are off. Still has a night nappy, that’s not unusual at that age so I wouldn’t worry about it.

I wouldn’t use a bed rail.

Original poster

Rookiemummy2018 · 18/07/2018 22:23

she will start reception next year...if bars off then she could go to the toilet and also to mummy and daddy's bed. I am now more worried that I am not helping her with learning to be dry at night and are leaving for too late?.....

OP posts:

Thurlow · 18/07/2018 22:23

DD was well gone 3 by the time we took the bars off because she too never climbed out and was in pull ups at night, so nothing ever pressed the issue and she never complained. So you're not the only one!

But probably good to do it now so it's not happening at the same time as night time training, just in case you end up confusing the two issues.

avamiah · 18/07/2018 22:23

Yes she is ready for her own bed( kids bed) with kids pillow and mattress .
You can put a waterproof mattress protector on underneath and maybe try pull ups instead of nappies .

Original poster

Rookiemummy2018 · 18/07/2018 22:24

OK bars are coming down this weekend!!

OP posts:

ludicrousmode · 18/07/2018 22:24

Take the bars off! I thought we were late taking them off for dc1 at over 2 - we were worried about him getting out of bed too but he's been really good ever since - never taken advantage of his freedom although he gets up to get toys/ books/ go to potty but goes straight back to bed.

Starlight345 · 18/07/2018 22:24

4 😮. My Ds had climbed out his at 15 months.

Yes it is time to move her. Or at least take the sides off. She has to learn to go to bed and that is going to need to be taught at some point .

Buy her some new bedding and tell her she is a big girl.

Original poster

Rookiemummy2018 · 18/07/2018 22:26

she is in pull ups.
OK will bring the bars down on Saturday. then we will be ready for night time training.
thank you all!

OP posts:

user7469322 · 18/07/2018 22:26

My daughter is 4 in a couple of months too. She’s in a single with a bed guard. As for the cot, the size you have is the same size as a junior bed anyway so consider remove by a side and using a bed guard. And no, don’t stopping with the night pants yet, my daughters still in those as she’s not ready. Defo consider ditching a cot side and using a bed guard for a bit though.

user7469322 · 18/07/2018 22:27

Sorry I can’t seem to spell tonight!

CrackerCrisp · 18/07/2018 22:27

Put a swim noodle under the sheet at the edge of the bed if you’re worried she might fall out at first.

SeamusMacDubh · 18/07/2018 22:28

OP, you're fine don't worry. My 4YO DS never questioned that there were bars on the bed, he just stayed in his cotbed from when we moved him into it. He didn't climb out and if he needed us, he called out. When we potty trained him, he wore nappies until he was dry at night and after he rarely woke up for a wee and if he did he called out. We took the sides off the cotbed a few months ago. He still can't take himself to the toilet at night because there is a baby gate on the bedroom, he just calls out and I go to him to help him but he very rarely wakes up for a wee in the night.

MN can be really judgemental about stuff like this, it isn't hurting your child, it's just not what other people may choose to do.

user7469322 · 18/07/2018 22:31

MN can be really judgemental about stuff like this, it isn't hurting your child, it's just not what other people may choose to do.

This^^.

This is a really good quote.

honeyishrunkthekid · 18/07/2018 22:31

She's only 3. Wouldn't bother me. But maybe start transition now. My daughter doesn't tend to use the loo at night (as far as I'm aware) and has been dry at night since last summer (will turn 5 in September)
She does like climbing in and out of bed though.

Don't worry too much. But begin transitioning to make it easier for you :)

Ssssurvey · 18/07/2018 22:31

Good tip #crackercrisp

Novasglow · 18/07/2018 22:32

I had the same situation, my DD never tried to climb out, seemed perfectly happy. Though she was dry through the night, and out of nappies. She went for a wee before bed and never once wet in the night. I think keeping the bars on was more me worrying about PFB. Removed the sides without using a bed rail and it made no difference at all, she's always slept like a log without much movement. In hindsight, she'd have been absolutely fine with the sides removed much earlier. She's 6 now and hasn't been affected in the slightest.

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