has always been in relationships with unfaithful and controlling men for as long as I can remember. My father left when I was a baby and afterwards there were a series of relationships with controlling, cheating men who she forgave time and time again before they eventually left her for someone else. I vividly remember witnessing her heartbreaks even as a child.
A year ago, she found out that her long term controlling partner had been cheating for years. I convinced her to end the relationship for good. I moved in with her for weeks for support as she was extremely low. I got her signed up with a counsellor (she has low self esteem), we redecorated her home, threw away all the things that reminded her of him, and she was adamant that she would never go back to him.
Today I find out that for the past 6 months, she has been secretly seeing said ex and is now giving things another go. She claims she didn’t tell me or anyone else as she knew what we’d say. She’s sure that he won’t do it again and I should apparently mind my own business and accept it. Everyone but her can see that she’s setting herself up for getting hurt again.
I’m tired of seeing this continuous distressing cycle happen of being a shoulder to cry on when it all goes wrong and then told to mind my own business whilst she’s loved up. I’ve told her all of this but she refuses to listen and is in denial. I can’t help someone who won’t be helped and I have my own life and happy family now.
I feel like the only way of getting away from all of this is to cut her off completely if she chooses to go ahead with this relationship, as I know it’s only a matter of time before it all goes wrong, whilst meanwhile she’ll be singing his praises and expecting me to be happy for her. I could be saying this because I’m livid and I don’t want to make a hasty decision, but I really don’t know what other options I have. After 30 years I’ve had enough.
I suppose I just want some advice :(