To Ask SC for the money for DPs present

[IWantToBeAPeaky]

I have lived with my partner for 2 years.

His children (14 & 17) stay every other weekend & during the holidays.

They have never been anything but rude to me . I have never been anything but pleasant to them despite wanting to just get up & leave when they are here because of the way they make me feel.
My partner has spoken to them on numerous occasions but nothing changes.
They have only come & spoken to me on one occasion - a few ago to ask me to get a bottle for their Dads birthday. I asked them what their budget was etc & got the bottle & put it in a gift bag.

There has been no mention of the money they promised. I believe kids should know the value of money & know they get a reasonable ££ of pocket money.

Should I just let it go ? They have also reverted back back to the rudeness & not talking to me

Give them a deadline, politely, and 'apologise' that if they don't pay by then you'll have to return the present.

I feel like I've read a very similar post before but it was about Father's Day. Anyway, there must be more than one besieged step-parent wrestling through the quagmire that is step-parenting.

I'm probably not best placed to advise here as I wouldn't have taken any of this on from the get-go but I'd just suck it up and let it go. A bottle couldn't have cost that much and though you probably should ask them for a contribution, however small, I doubt it would be forthcoming. Good luck!

If they don't pay, they shouldn't get. They sound horrible. They are old enough to know better.

I think I’d that one go to be honest. It will just come across as you being mean, even though you aren’t. I would however not tolerate rudeness. They haven’t listened to their father, so I think it’s quite reasonable to stand up for yourself, politely but firmly.

At the moment they have learnt that there are no consequences whatsoever for being rude to you, and your DP has learnt that you won’t walk out and you will tolerate it.

They may respect you more if you stand up for yourself, and if not, you haven’t lost anything as they don’t respect you anyway.

I’d say something quietly but firmly like “I don’t appreciate being spoken to like that, it’s very rude”. Then stay silent for a few moments, don’t fill the uncomfortable silence and see if an apology is forthcoming. If it is, then be graceful and thank dc for apologising.

If it isn’t, say to DP, “I don’t appreciate being spoken to like that. This is my home and it isn’t acceptable. I’m going out.” Leave calmly.

Go for a nice coffee and don’t hurry back. Don’t apologise when you get back, just repeat like a broken record, my home, won’t be spoken to like that. Repeat as many times as needed.

Teenagers can be a pain in the bum, but it doesn’t mean you have to put up with them being rude.

YANBU. I think you should ask them for the money, and I agree with Notevilstepmother that the rudeness needs to be tackled, you shouldn't have to stand for that in your own home.

Well unless they give you the money then I’d assume they’ve sorted something else and give so the bottle off you or return it.
The rudeness I would tread carefully with. It either comes from a lace of sadness that they don’t have their dad full time or from things their mother is saying about you. I’m sure as they mature they will realise it’s not on if you continue to be pleasant to them.