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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to be upset about what 3yo has said

53 replies

happymommaof2 · 18/07/2018 12:23

DS, 3 years old was picked up from Nursery by his dad's gf last night. She has text me this morning to say he called her a fat fuck in the car when she picked him up! I am absolutely gutted. I am 100% certain he has not heard it at my house and 98% certain he hasn't heard it at his dads. She said he was really upset about getting in trouble and it was clear he had no idea what he was saying.

Just the thought of those horrible words coming out of his little mouth - the best insult he can normally muster is "I'm not your best friend!"

I have phoned nursery to make them aware, I really don't want them to think he is that kind of child :(

OP posts:

HariboIsMyCrack · 18/07/2018 13:43

This reply has been withdrawn

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SomeKnobend · 18/07/2018 13:44

That'll teach her not to call him names. Wtf did she think she was doing? At 3 he'll have no idea what that means and why it's ok for her to call him names but it's not ok for him to do it. Shitty "parenting" from her imo.

MummaGiles · 18/07/2018 13:44

If it is any consolation, my DS asked me very innocently at the park one day if I could say “fuckin’ hell”. I knew he didn’t know what it meant and asked him where he’d heard it. Nursery. I told him that he shouldn’t say that because it’s naughty and he understood. It happens. I was shocked too but your child isn’t alone in this.

Aquamarine1029 · 18/07/2018 13:47

This whole situation is absurd! He's THREE FFS! He's barely more than a baby! How can he be in "trouble" for saying ANYTHING? He obviously simply parroted something he heard or the gf misunderstood him. For her to come to you with this is beyond ridiculous. Is she 12 or an actual grown woman?! She couldn't handle this herself? Don't give this nonsense another thought.

PerfectlySymmetricalButtocks · 18/07/2018 13:50

DD has always known not to repeat swearwords. DS2 on the other hand, when he was 5, told someone in yr2 to fuck off on the way out of school. I was horrified.

Freddiepurrcury · 18/07/2018 13:57

Another one here so impressed with what a good relationship you have with the GF. Your little boy is so lucky that the adults in his life have found a way to get on and coparent as a team!
It will be nursery where he’s heard it. I had similar with my daughter and thankfully once she was made aware of how naughty it was, she never did it again.

Original poster

happymommaof2 · 18/07/2018 14:01

SomeKnobend she'd just said it in jest because he'd farted or something, I don't think she was expecting what he said to come out of his mouth!

Aquamarine1029 Sorry I have to disagree, I'm glad she told me so I could let nursery know. I'd hate for him to say it there and me be taken completely by surprise! She did handle it herself she was just keeping me in the loop about something MY child had done, which I'm grateful for.

OP posts:

AndreasFault · 18/07/2018 14:07

I wish people would ditch all of the 'naughty word' bollocks, and just tell their kids that there's some words used only by adults. DS to is planning a 'whole day of swear' when he turns 18

Original poster

happymommaof2 · 18/07/2018 14:10

Freddiepurrcury all the posts mentioning this have really made me smile. Thank you!

I want it to be nursery where he has heard it, I hate the thought of him hearing it at either our house (he won't have done) or his dads. I also feel sorry for the child who has heard it, it feels so much worse than just swearing, it sounds so offensive and angry!

OP posts:

Racecardriver · 18/07/2018 14:16

Our son has picked up all kinds of horrible things from nursery, 'yeah', poo jokes, 'ninjas'. Thankfully none of the other children seem sweary but if one of them was he probably would have picked that up too.

Cismyass · 18/07/2018 14:20

Don't worry OP they won't think he's 'that kind of child' they'll just think you are 'that kind of Mum'

Mamabear4180 · 18/07/2018 14:23

It's a shame she text you instead of just having a conversation later! This would make my head spin, especially as it would sound nothing like my child as you say (most children I hope)!

Why tell him off? It's obviously said in complete innocence, overheard probably. Better to just keep in light at 3yo. 'That's not nice words' and change subject probably best!

I wouldn't worry OP. Just try and find out where he may have picked the words up or have a word with the nursery or something.

Original poster

happymommaof2 · 18/07/2018 14:24

Cismyass I don't know how they could possibly!

OP posts:

AmeliaFolch · 18/07/2018 14:25

OP your post has made me chuckle ruefully remembering the time DS aged 3 at the time and playing happily in the garden greeted our neighbour with the phrase ‘hello you fat fuck’. I was mortified, lifted him up and ran into the house apologising profusely all the while. I eventually figured out he’d overheard it on a TV show that DB watched at the time while at his house. That neighbour was always frosty with me afterwards. I guess she thought DS had heard me say it about her. Almost 20 years on thinking about it still makes me cringe with embarrassment.

Notso · 18/07/2018 14:26

Our son has picked up all kinds of horrible things from nursery, 'yeah', poo jokes, 'ninjas'.

sound horrific

PerfectlySymmetricalButtocks · 18/07/2018 14:28

I'll add my to that too.

Tomboytown · 18/07/2018 14:30

Yeah- how awful!!

SemperIdem · 18/07/2018 14:30

My brother, age 3 once said “I live in a cunt” as our mum was getting him out of the there.

There’s no chance he’d have picked that up at home, so had to have been from someone else from nursery.

I don’t think she reacted except to say “we don’t say that” and he never said it again.

Well...he might now, age 22.

BlueTears · 18/07/2018 14:31

My DS picks up all sorts of really odd sayings at Nursery.
It will probably be from another child.

Original poster

happymommaof2 · 18/07/2018 14:31

Mamabear4180 I'll not see her until the weekend, I think she just wanted to let me know sooner rather than later but yes it did, seeing the words in black and white was horrible haha! I think she was just shocked, I don't think she's had enough exposer to younger children (no siblings/nices/nephews) to know that might have been a better option.

Thanks to everyone was has said their child has done it too - I'm not raising Satan then

OP posts:

Myotherusernameisbest · 18/07/2018 14:37

Its so sad when you realise that he most likely picked it up at nursery from another child, who is most likely repeating what they hear at home. Nothing really you can do except what you've already done by alerting the nursery and reinforce to him its a word he must not use.

I heard a dad a few days ago when we were out at a park say to a little 4 year old boy (presumably his son) 'Oh piss off'. Some parents are just crap. But you and your ex's gf are not those parents so hopefully he won't be repeating it again anytime soon.

Tissunnyupnorth · 18/07/2018 14:38

My brother, age 3 once said “I live in a cunt” as our mum was getting him out of the there.

halfwitpicker · 18/07/2018 14:48

It's fine.

My 4 year old said 'this bike's buggered' the other day. I obviously have to stop swearing!

halfwitpicker · 18/07/2018 14:49

Ninja???

SoyDora · 18/07/2018 15:17

What’s wrong with ninja?!

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