to expect my childrens father to stick to contact arrangements?

[wheresthevalium]

We agreed about a month ago that he would have them on a Tuesday night, ie collect them from school on the Tuesday, and drop them back on the Wednesday morning.

I have just called him to remind him to collect the DDs from the childminder and not school today, and he has told me that he cannot have the children tonight as he is working at my family business. I have had no prior warning that this might happen.

I have told him that I have made plans for tonight, so he will have to make other arrangements himself, he has said fine, but he wont have the girls from next week, this leaves him with 6 hours a week contact

He is currently unemployed and it seems that my BIL who has taken over from exH running the business, has asked him to help out for a bit of pocket money. Personally I couldn't give a stuff about any maintenance, he was only paying £15.00 a week anyway bur AIBU to expect him to turn down the work, look for a proper job and see his DDs as arranged?

Could he not see them at a different time when he is not working.

No you are not unreasonable to expect him to stick to contact arrangements and to give you plenty of notice if he wants to change them.

It would be unreasonable to be inflexible for the sake of it, for example refusing to swap a Wednesday for a Tuesday, unless it seriously interfered with something you have to do (like work, course, etc.)

I think it's give and take with contact arrangements. You should both be considering how best to make them work.

I don't mind if he wants to change to a different day, or reduce the contact with them-that's his choice. It's more the short notice, he has known for a few days about this

Yes I agree it's a lack of respect for your arrangements, that he can't be bothered to give you any notice.

He has to take your arrangements seriously, otherwise he won't take his own contact seriously.