Done before but it’s fun. So guess the book and the mil

[Seasawride]

Help! I have one dd. My mil has lived with us since we have been married.

She is a very strong woman and overruled me on everything. She sends me to bed if I sneeze.

When dd was 2 dh pissed off capturing butterflies in Africa and I havnt heard off him for years. Bastard. So mil got friendly with a wierd lady next door. She has big hair coils round her ears, writes books and has lots of kids.

I am concerned she is also involved in modern slavery as she has a woman living with her called Anna who does everything.

Anyway mil and this wierd Jo woman have colluded to send dd to a boarding school.

Aibu to just want to move away with dd. Start again and have some fun?

Guess the book and keep going.

[MrStarkIDontFeelSoGood]

Is the boulder one Weight by Jeanette Winterson?

[Tanith]

It is “The King Must Die!”.

Fascinating to read the origins of the Minotaur and other myths. Even a precursor to The Sword In the Stone, I think.

[MrStarkIDontFeelSoGood]

Lassie Lettice?

[MrStarkIDontFeelSoGood]

My mother had 4 DDs, my father was severe and religious he took us overseas when we were young as missionaries - we were badly received by the locals and he eventually went mad.

I'm the only one that my mother managed to get out, I often wonder if she would rather have saved one of the others and only picked me because she knew I wouldn't survive alone

[Lancelottie]

Glamorous, I've definitely read yours! I thought it was the L-shaped Room, but I think I'm mixing up two books in my mind.

Ah, no, is it A Taste of Honey?

[LetticeFortescue]

Yes I'm Lassie

[Lancelottie]

The Poisonwood Bible, MrStark?

[MrStarkIDontFeelSoGood]

Yes

I live over the road from a family of DDs

My teenage son and his friends have become a bit obsessed with them (they are very pretty)

I'm concerned because the mother seems very strict and they are virtual shut ins.

Should I mind my own business or call Social Services ?

[drudgewithagrudge]

My mother and I run a small business which is not doing very well. Mother gets some very strange moods sometimes and does things she probably regrets later .

I have become attracted to a girl I met recently but I know Mother would not approve. She can be very dominating. Perhaps I should have a cold shower instead.

[Lancelottie]

Good idea, drudge, but put down the kitchen knife first? And isn’t it time you stopped blaming things on your mummy?

(If this is a different book then that will sound rather bonkers...)

[MipMipMip]

My men did a good job bombarding a village but when they were in scavaging they found a young teen and his dog. I ought to send him to be a POW but the soldiers seem to have adopted him. Poor lad is terrified. For now I've got the excuse of him knowing the area to keep him with us but pretty soon there will be questions asked.

How do I keep the poor lad with us rather than sending him to that hell hole? And given his father and uncle are fighting on the other side Is this really the best option? WWYD?

[MipMipMip]

No one seems to have got my last one. I reckon Gaspode has a good chance....

[Scheheramard]

MrStarkIDontFeelSoGood Virgin suicides?

[MrStarkIDontFeelSoGood]

I know the boy and his dog but it won't come to me

Yes Virgin Suicides

[MrStarkIDontFeelSoGood]

Me and DW witnessed a terrible accident

Now one of our fellow witnesses is stalking me and says we are in love

He came into our house

AIBU to suggest to my wife that the best way to get over this is to have sex on the table?

[Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g]

MipMipMip, I''m sorry to say I haven't a clue! Nobody got this one of mine yesterday, so I'm going to repeat it.

I was at school with a boy who was always on the edge of things, rather a figure of fun. That was my perception of him, anyway. I was surprised when meeting him later to find out that he (and his mother) saw things very differently. Maybe he was right, because he did pretty well for himself in life - in work terms, anyway. His marriage, to the niece of another old schoolfriend, was less successful. I now find out that he has been drawn into a cult where I suspect he is being abused. Should I alert the authorities?

[drudgewithagrudge]

Lancelottie Yes it's Psycho. It was all Mummy's fault I tell you.

[Tanith]

That sounds like Enduring Love MrStark ?

[MrStarkIDontFeelSoGood]

Yes Enduring Love

I am a teacher

A new exciting teacher has joined the staff

I am jealous of her

WIBU to completely destroy her?

[Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g]

I should maybe add that I have had a long and successful life, but in the course of 12 books about my life and times I have mostly written about my friends, colleagues and family rather than myself. The chap I mention above does rather seem to have dominated the narrative, even though i don't actually like him very much.

[Scheheramard]

MrStarkIDontFeelSoGood notes on a scandal?

[MrStarkIDontFeelSoGood]

Yes

OK Last one before I get on for the day

I'm a witch but I've suppressed it for years and instead work as an Academic in Oxford

One of my colleagues is stalking me

Would I be unreasonable to suspect him of being a vampire ?

[Tanith]

Is that The Flashman Papers, Gasp?

[Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g]

No, although that would have been a good one. Mine is a lot less rambustous than that. Was adapted for TV just over 20 years ago. Has never been filmed, to my knowledge. A couple of radio adaptations too.

[drudgewithagrudge]

I live with my parents in a very nice village in the country. Everyone there is very pleasant and I have a lot of friends. Sometimes there is the odd whiff of xenophobia but you can't have everything.

I have this strange feeling that my parents want to keep me as a child and quite an old fashioned child at that. FFS they make me wear the exact same clothes everyday.
P.S Don't tell Mummy that I swore.
P. P.S. I think I might be gay.