to wonder why I get stressed so easily?

[TipToeTulip]

and what I can do about it?!

I am quite a laid back person really (!).

But everyday stresses seem to really affect me these days. I'm either chilled and happy or totally stressed or worried! No inbetween !

TODAY:

• an annoying issue with a neighbour/ social housing landlord.
• spending over an hour (for the third time) trying to reinstall a screentime thing on son's phone (soooooooooooooo frustrating. His friend deleted it for a joke).

Both things really stressed me out!

Perhaps being a single parent means I've got no-one on hand to moan to (not to be underestimated!) or share the load (you speak to the Landlord, you fix the phone) and have to make every decision alone.

Its nearly bedtime, and I know tomorrow I've got stuff to do. Boring but essential stuff to do. Endless organisation.

I know I should be having some fun and am quite capable of it! But if I thought "sod it" the flat would be a tip, and everything would pile up. At least thats how I view it in my mind. I also think "if I just did this, then I will have some relaxing time" but that time doesn't seem to come round ....

I don't think anyone would guess this about me by the way, at least under normal conditions. I perhaps even seem fairly chilled, but like the duck in the water, those feet are going like the clappers underneath.

Any tips? Any ideas? I seem a bit stuck in this groove.

Not to be patronising but I should imagine that being a single parent is pretty stressful on its own. The buck stops with you, I mean.

To start with something pretty cliched, have you tried the Headspace app? I really rate it.

thanks laugh.

feel a bit embarrassed about posting it now. it all seems a bit petty. i work part-time, but I struggle with doing everything else, as I seem to just get so stressed out at times. i think there must be something else going on but I'm not sure what....

will have to have a think about it ...

tomorrow is another day ...!

Second the Headspace recommendation. I also find Kalms take the edge off when I'm really stressed. Tbh I think my stress head is genetic. I remember my mum having panic attacks when I was a kid and it seems to have passed to me. Luckily DD is a very chilled little lady now- hoping that continues

I often feel the same OP ( hence my username!). I am always trying to get stuff done so I can relax. Then I feel guilty for feeling stressed as I should feel lucky I have no big big worries.

I used to stress about everything, funbiky enough when I was a single parent to dd1... now I have 4dc im pretty chilled out except when the cunting neighbour dc boil my piss.... everyday as its the holidays and she wants peace

I think sometimes as pp said, our heads are so busy with whats next, we forget to take that moment to just do or be iykwim.

Funbiky? The kindle really has the best autocorrect! Fucking moron grr

I find that because I have a constant, completely unachievable to do list going round in my head, taking any time to relax is not even enjoyable as I don’t ‘deserve’ it ifswim? As in, the house isn’t spotless, I haven’t become a perfect parent, resurrected my career and done my 10447 tasks on my list for today so I shouldn’t be sitting down.

Don’t be embarrassed, especially if (as you say) you’ve got no one on hand to moan to. I’m a big fan of having a good moan and getting things off one’s chest. You can’t be Superwoman all the time. And I can see from the people around me that single parenthood is relentless. This is coming to you from the woman who took herself off to dinner alone tonight, I’d just had it with 3 days of non-stop tantrums from DD and I left DH holding the ‘ babies’while I went off to decompress. You don’t have that luxury; it has to wear on you after a while.

Wow, toostressy - you have just summed up how I feel but couldn't articulate!

glad I could help. Sorry not to have replied with any actual tips though OP.

Don't be embarrassed.. Why should you be.? . You re trying your best.. The things you mentioned are annoying anyway at best of times and you re there thinking of all the other things you need to do before day is over.. plus... all the things you d actually like to do.. A recipe for stress. I'm no expert but sometimes try to say sod it.. I'm doing something for myself now.. Even if it doesn't seem like much.. The house will not fall down.. No one's giving out medals anyway... Give yourself a break and realize that you are dealing with everything in your own good way and that's better than doing nothing and it's enough!!

wrongturn this is so true! Image if this turned out to be the last week of your life? All that life admin is, obviously, important-
but it’s not the be-all and end-all. You have to enjoy yourself too. What’s the point otherwise?

It's inevitable . I used to be so chilled until I was left as a single parent 4 years ago . I have identified my stress as coming from cognitive thought processes leading up to the stress so I'm restarting mindfulness and zoning out when stressful times erupt . Cardio Exercise has also made its way back into my life , Diet is also so important for stress resilience . I'm not sure there's a solution to permanently eradicate stress , unfortunately. However , being armed with weapons , is helpful .

The only way I can relax properly is by leaving the house, as there is always a to-do list at home!

Even just going to the park/cafe/library means I can switch off. I like the local pool too (mindlessly swimming lanes is relaxing for me)

Find what helps you switch off, and do that

If I sit in a cafe I update my to do list, check emails etc, stress about how much I have to do and then feel guilty about spending money when I could have eaten / drunk at home easily enough on my own. I think I’m a lost cause!

TooStressy you've nailed it! That's exactly how I feel.

Toostressy, then go for a walk or a swim :)

Keeps me sane

There's been a complete shift in society. People can no longer take responsibility and deal with anything. Rather than being stressed and dealing with it people look to find external reasons which are beyond their control.

No one is anxious, they 'have anxiety'.

Woman up!

How is that at all helpful? Others have given practical suggestions, your offering is “Don’t feel stressed!”

It sounds like the opposite to be honest- taking too much responsibility for everything! I understand, feel the same a lot of the time.

We do we give ourselves such a hard time?