For this to put me off?

[HannaPintura]

I've known a man since our college days and we have remained in touch since. He is genuinely lovely, and he's a good friend.

Lately, I feel our friendship has developed, and he has made it very clear that he would like it to progress into a relationship.

He's good-looking, caring, funny and lots more but one thing puts me off so much, he doesn't work and hasn't done for years and years. The reason he says is aspergers and dyspraxia. To observe him you wouldn't know he was either of these. He is very social, down the pub with his pals every weekend and is the life and soul of the party. I know aspergers is much more complex than that, I also have aspergers, but I hold down a full time job too.

With his dyspraxia, you would have no idea he was dyspraxic.

Basically, it's putting me off because he's happy claiming benefits, rather than being in work.

AIBU?

I wouldn't go for someone who didn't work and relied on benefits with no end in sight. Been there and it's boring to pick up the tab every time I wanted to do something.

Nope. My son has Aspergers and dyspraxia and I absolutely do not believe that those conditions prevent him from working especially as you say he is functioning well in other aspects of his life. I couldn't date someone with so little ambition and drive

No. Not working when you're clearly able to is a really bright red flag.

Bone-idle

Gosh no would put me off. Idle scrounger. How isn’t he looking for work?

Thanks everyone for answering my question . Thought I was being judgy and harsh, but good to know I'm not.

I think unless you know in detail about his condition and how it affects him it's impossible to really judge, but I agree that it sounds like he just doesn't like the idea of work.

I'm a SAHM so I can appreciate his position, but until I married DH I was working. I think if it did progress into a relationship, YWBU to go off him because he wanted to be a SAMH/SAMD (unless financial issues etc.) However if he's just lazy - which it looks like - I doubt he'd put much effort into housework/childcare either.

If he's lovely in all other aspects I'd give him the benefit of the doubt (pun unintended.) It might be that his conditions impact him in a way that makes work very difficult.

I think Yabu. Holding down a job isn’t the same as socialising on his own terms and schedule.
If he has been assessed as being unable to work I imagine his conditions affect him more than his public persona would suggest.