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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that I should be able to eat at work?

394 replies

GlassyPinkP · 17/07/2018 11:04

I work in an office, am not public facing, and sit behind a computer all day. 6 months pregnant and feel hungry throughout the day, but heartburn means I can't eat big meals. I've been eating at my desk (not huge or smelly meals, usually a bowl of cereal, sandwich, fruit etc) throughout the day. It doesn't impact on my work and it makes me feel a whole heap less hungry throughout the day compared to when I eat a tiny breakfast and a tiny lunch in between!

My manager has raised with me that one of my colleagues is not happy that I am eating a lot at my desk (I'm within my calories, it's not a huge amount it's just more spread out). Apparently I should go in to the kitchen area and eat out there. Everyone eats their lunch at their desks but their screens are turned off so it's an official lunch break.

AIBU to think I should be allowed to have a 30 min lunch break to eat my sandwiches and if I want to eat fruit or the odd bowl of cereal 2/3 times a day this shouldn't be an issue?

I'm finding pregnancy really hard and have nausea constantly as well as heartburn and gallbladder problems. Food helps! I don't want to be banished to standing in the kitchen every time I want to eat an orange...

Opinions?

OP posts:
GameOfMinges · 17/07/2018 14:37

You should probably find out whether there's enough space for a chair in what has already been described as a cramped kitchen melon, before you offer furniture recommendations.

Original poster
GlassyPinkP · 17/07/2018 14:40

So basically I'm meant to sit in a chair in a tiny kitchen and get in everyone's way probably having to move the chair every time I'm in there just so I can have something to eat for a minute? There will then be complaints that I'm a bloody fire hazard in a kitchen where people can hardly move in as it is! I may as well sit on the toilet and eat it.

OP posts:
devoncreamtea · 17/07/2018 14:43

I would just eat my snacks in the kitchen OP. Gives you a little screen break too. Maybe ask for a chair in there though. If your colleague wants to be petty, you may as well milk it!

Scoopofchaff · 17/07/2018 14:49

Tell the management that the sound and smell of you puking in a bin might be more distressing to your colleague?

Good luck tackling this op!

NeatFreakMama · 17/07/2018 14:51

So basically I'm meant to sit in a chair in a tiny kitchen and get in everyone's way probably having to move the chair every time I'm in there just so I can have something to eat for a minute? There will then be complaints that I'm a bloody fire hazard in a kitchen where people can hardly move in as it is! I may as well sit on the toilet and eat it.

If you're just eating something for a minute like a piece of fruit why don't you just stand up and eat it? That way you can stretch your legs and get your blood flowing around, get some food and then sit down again? It feels like you want there to be a problem to fight against?

Cantusethatname · 17/07/2018 14:52

I would struggle to hear and see you eating apples and fruit constantly and know there is no end to it, that in an hour or so you'll start up again. Sorry.

Original poster
GlassyPinkP · 17/07/2018 14:53

@NeatFreakMama no I just don't get why it is ok for everyone else to have a biscuit occasionally and to eat their lunch whenever they fancy, as long as they spend 30 mins doing it, but when I want to have a snack I'm being forced to do so elsewhere. I would rather not have this problem at all to be quite frank I think it is ridiculous!

OP posts:
Original poster
GlassyPinkP · 17/07/2018 14:54

cantuse it's 4x over 9 hours. What do you do when you're at home and whoever you live with wants to eat an apple? Do you go in the other room until they've finished eating?

OP posts:
Original poster
GlassyPinkP · 17/07/2018 14:54

cantuse also you wouldn't have to look at me if you didn't want to see me eating an apple.

OP posts:
SunShades · 17/07/2018 14:55

Last time I checked a chair wasn't a required utensil in order to eat...

melonscoffer · 17/07/2018 14:55

GameOfMinges

Then you get said chair and put it in the kitchen.
Or any corrider/corner away from the main workspace

There will be somewhere OP can sit. Unless she works in the Borrowers office.

DarlingNikita · 17/07/2018 14:55

You should probably find out whether there's enough space for a chair in what has already been described as a cramped kitchen melon, before you offer furniture recommendations.

This. Going by the OP's subsequent comments, the kitchen is going to struggle to accommodate a chair.

I used to work in a place with a tiny kitchen and I'd have found it really odd – and cramped/inconvenient –to go in there and find a colleague perched on a chair in an awkward corner when they could have just eaten a bit of fruit at their desk.

If you're just eating something for a minute like a piece of fruit why don't you just stand up and eat it? That way you can stretch your legs and get your blood flowing around Yes, fine, but the OP should have the OPTION to do that, not be forced to stand up!

NeatFreakMama · 17/07/2018 14:57

GlassyPinkP I think it's because you're eating more frequently than everyone else, that seems to be the issue to describe in your OP but it doesn't seem like you want other people's opinions so I'll jog on :)

Duckfuckduck · 17/07/2018 14:57

I really think you should get a chair in the kitchen.

We weren’t allowed to eat at our desks in one place I worked and had to sit in a tiny kitchen.

melonscoffer · 17/07/2018 14:59

So basically I'm meant to sit in a chair in a tiny kitchen and get in everyone's way probably having to move the chair every time I'm in there just so I can have something to eat for a minute

Well yes, if your employers ask you to.

You won't be in everyones' way will you if you're only in there for a minute.

TittyFahLaEtcetera · 17/07/2018 15:06

But why are they only asking the pregnant lady, melon? Why is that acceptable? Why are others allowed to gave a snack at their desks but not OP?

OP, I'd ask them to confirm how many snacks is acceptable and ask if they will be enforcing the "go to the kitchen" rule for anyone having a snack. Then ask they provide a chair so that everyone can snack there.

Why should others get to snack at their desks but not you? That is discrimination. If they've not said outright that only lunch is permitted at desks, and they're letting others have snacks throughout the day then they've not got a leg to stand on.

melonscoffer · 17/07/2018 15:10

GlassyPinkP Tue 17-Jul-18 14:29:23
Because I'm uncomfortable and honestly don't think someone should be made to go and stand in a tiny, boiling hot kitchen when they want to eat a biscuit

GlassyPinkP Tue 17-Jul-18 14:53:07
no I just don't get why it is ok for everyone else to have a biscuit occasionally

So the other workers are allowed biscuits at the desks but you are sent to the kitchen?

Charm23 · 17/07/2018 15:11

Haven't read all 7 pages so this may have already been mentioned but... could the issue be more with how you eat? Are you eating with your mouth open? Chewing noisily? Smacking lips? Rustling packets? All this would drive me nuts if I had to sit there every day listening to it... Not trying to be mean but maybe it's worth considering?

melonscoffer · 17/07/2018 15:15

TittyFahLaEtcetera Tue 17-Jul-18 15:06:48
But why are they only asking the pregnant lady, melon? Why is that acceptable? Why are others allowed to gave a snack at their desks but not OP?

They are asking the lady who someone at work complained about.

They are asking the lady who eats too much in a close proximity to others. In their opinion.
Not the lady who is pregnant.
No one banished her to the kitchen the minute she announced her pregnancy.

PitterPatterOfBigFeet · 17/07/2018 15:18

I kind of agree that the sound of someone eating fruit and cereal constantly would be bloody annoying. Fair enough if it happened a few times a day but all the time would be too much to bear. I really don't see the problem with walking away from your desk for a light snack. If you're eating constantly it must be small snacks which wouldn't take long to eat.

Original poster
GlassyPinkP · 17/07/2018 15:21

I eat 4 times over 9 hours!! That amounts to about 25/30 mins, the same as everyone else! If a box of doughnuts is brought in everyone has one. If a packet of biscuits is floating about everyone helps themselves. If I bring in an orange or pear and eat them throughout the day, I have to go to the kitchen. It just seems quite frankly bizarre to me. I can't physically eat all my calories in one go and need to eat intermittently. I've been told to do so by my midwife.

I'm not a noisy eater, I've always made sure I'm quiet as I notice it in other people.

OP posts:
Original poster
GlassyPinkP · 17/07/2018 15:21

Probably not even that, 20 possibly.

OP posts:
TittyFahLaEtcetera · 17/07/2018 15:22

They are asking the lady who someone at work complained about.

They are asking the lady who eats too much in a close proximity to others. In their opinion.
Not the lady who is pregnant.
No one banished her to the kitchen the minute she announced her pregnancy.

Then they have to make blanket rules:

  1. Only a set number of meals and snacks in a working day without a medical note to demonstrate medical or social need for reasonable adjustment.
OR
  1. Nobody eats at their desks.

They cannot allow everyone to eat at their desks except the one who eats more. Otherwise they could banish pregnant people, people with disabilities, the fat person who is perceived to eat more than their share (even if they don't) or even just the person who isn't liked, just on someone else's say so.

That's a slippery slope to workplace bullying.

FrogFairy · 17/07/2018 15:32

In your office of 30 staff I am sure there are other people snacking too. No way does not a single morsel pass their lips outside of official lunch break.

If grazing helps to keep your nausea and heartburn at bay then surely feeling well helps you to be more productive in your work.

I would speak with your manager, explain your reasons why little and often is what you need to do atm.

Reneque · 17/07/2018 15:35

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