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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that I should be able to eat at work?

394 replies

GlassyPinkP · 17/07/2018 11:04

I work in an office, am not public facing, and sit behind a computer all day. 6 months pregnant and feel hungry throughout the day, but heartburn means I can't eat big meals. I've been eating at my desk (not huge or smelly meals, usually a bowl of cereal, sandwich, fruit etc) throughout the day. It doesn't impact on my work and it makes me feel a whole heap less hungry throughout the day compared to when I eat a tiny breakfast and a tiny lunch in between!

My manager has raised with me that one of my colleagues is not happy that I am eating a lot at my desk (I'm within my calories, it's not a huge amount it's just more spread out). Apparently I should go in to the kitchen area and eat out there. Everyone eats their lunch at their desks but their screens are turned off so it's an official lunch break.

AIBU to think I should be allowed to have a 30 min lunch break to eat my sandwiches and if I want to eat fruit or the odd bowl of cereal 2/3 times a day this shouldn't be an issue?

I'm finding pregnancy really hard and have nausea constantly as well as heartburn and gallbladder problems. Food helps! I don't want to be banished to standing in the kitchen every time I want to eat an orange...

Opinions?

OP posts:
BunsOfAnarchy · 17/07/2018 12:14

Companies usually make extra provisions for pregnant women. So much that they walk on eggshells around them.
Im surprised they dont allow u small snacks at your desk if they allow full meals at desks for everyone else. Especially whilst your pregnant.

Whoever complained is a tit. Id go eat cereal at their desk. Very VERY loud.

Iamagreyhoundhearmeroar · 17/07/2018 12:14

Well, there is a difference between once a day or four plus times a day. A huge difference.

thenewaveragebear1983 · 17/07/2018 12:14

Aside from the fact that eating at your desk is gross, if you need a reasonable adjustment made that you can eat whenever you need to due to pregnancy related nausea, your employer has to allow it (provided you’re not exploiting it, which it doesn’t sound like you are) and have it written into your pregnancy risk assessment. I don’t think it’s unreasonable to ask you not to graze all day at your desk but to use the kitchen facilities. Plus then you get a little walk, and a break at the same time.

www.center4research.org/bacteria-computer-keyboards-toilet-seats/

Guardianreaderformysins · 17/07/2018 12:19

In the circumstances you’ve described where there is an expectation you will take lunch at your desk, then I do think they are verging into pregnancy discrimation. You have a valid health reason and they only have to make the tiniest of adjustments to deal with it... would they rather you were off sick because they won’t let you eat. If I was your manager I would have given the complainant short shrift and never even mentioned it to you.

supersop60 · 17/07/2018 12:20

Placemarking, while i rush off to clean my keyboard.

AirForce0ne · 17/07/2018 12:20

You should be able to have a snack break, but not to eat at your desk.

There's a reason why companies have to ban food

see what happens in

thenewaveragebear1983 · 17/07/2018 12:21

But according to the OP, they haven’t said she can’t eat- they’ve said she can’t eat at her desk. That’s not maternity discrimination. If anything, a short walk to the kitchen and eating there, 2-3 times a day, surely is more pleasant for you that trying to eat and work at the same time?

GameOfMinges · 17/07/2018 12:21

Worth remembering that pregnancy is a protected characteristic, but most of the explanations for your colleague being pissed off (misophonia, belief you're skiving etc) aren't.

MoonsAndJunes · 17/07/2018 12:22

As something ne who regularly goes from 9-3 without so much as a toilet break, you would

footballmum · 17/07/2018 12:24

OP, ask your Manager who you, as the only pregnant person in the office, has been singled out for this type of treatment? I’ll put money on a panicked look on his face and some fairly speedy backpedaling Wink

MoonsAndJunes · 17/07/2018 12:24

...(In normal circumstances BVU. As you are 6mths pregnant, YANBU. I found going to work full stop hard at 6mths. I don't know how anyone keeps going to full term.

Iamagreyhoundhearmeroar · 17/07/2018 12:26

Pregnancy bring a protected characteristic doesn't mean anything goes? Any adjustments have to be reasonable. They apparently don't believe a non stop buffet is an actual requirement...

DarlingNikita · 17/07/2018 12:26

If anything, a short walk to the kitchen and eating there, 2-3 times a day, surely is more pleasant for you that trying to eat and work at the same time?

There are no chairs in the kitchen. I don't think anyone should be forced to stand up and eat because some colleague has decided to complain about it (I get dreadful indigestion if I do so); but I'm pretty sure it's a particularly poor idea to expect someone who's pregnant to do it.

Passmethecrisps · 17/07/2018 12:26

It’s nothign to do with what op is eating. It doesn’t matter if it is clinky or crunchy or rustling or sticky because everyone eats at their desk. Someone appears to think op is getting more breaks I reckon. They are equating eating with not working and have taken the hump.

The manager needs to challenge this and simply put a stop to it. It won’t be improved by having a chair in the kitchen because then op is definitely taking a break.

I had to eat all the time through both my pregnancies. As a teacher that often meant a bag of apricots or something in my bag and secret nibbling. Of course a child could have taken umbrage had they seen me but I would hope grown ups would use more empathy.

I have a two person office as well and recall a colleague eating constantly when pregnant. It wasn’t pretty to watch either bless her but whose issue is that? Mine. I just looked somewhere else and was glad it made her feel better

DarlingNikita · 17/07/2018 12:27

a non stop buffet
How rude. And stupid.

Passmethecrisps · 17/07/2018 12:27

But if everyone else eats at their desk but op is being made to eat in the kitchen that is just weird surely

Bibesia · 17/07/2018 12:29

I totally understand why you need to eat little and often (been there myself) but I think really they should make allowances for you to go and eat in the kitchen.

They are - they want OP to eat in the kitchen.

OP, off the point, but if you get heartburn you really shouldn't be eating oranges.

TheSerenDipitY · 17/07/2018 12:31

i think they have already set a precedent that eating at your desk IS allowed as you have said most eat their lunch at their desks daily and that there are no seating in the kitchen area for anyone to use... and as it has become accept practice to eat at your desk during your lunchtime they have to accept that means it should also be accepted that you can eat at your desk at anytime you have a break, and if they change the rule to no desk eating, does that also mean no desk drinking? challenge the ruling!

Schroedingerscatagain · 17/07/2018 12:34

Perhaps your colleague has Misophonia

If so then this is a recognised disability that reasonable adjustment has to be made for in law, maybe they just about cope with everyone at lunch but your constant snacking has been the proverbial straw to their camel

No one is presumably stopping you from going to the kitchen to eat? So ask the manager for a chair to be placed in the kitchen for you

Pregnancy doesn’t trump disability in law and going to the kitchen is a reasonable adjustment that you can make

NeatFreakMama · 17/07/2018 12:37

It's not really great that then don't want you eating at your desk when you want but generally at work I'd just do what's being asked of you. They need to make provision because you're pregnant, and they are because they're saying you can get up and go to the kitchen and eat whenever you'd like. So I'd just do that, it's not exactly a huge bother is it?

ACatsNoHelpWithThat · 17/07/2018 12:38

If everyone has a set time for lunch at their desks then your own food smells/noises would probably drown out everyone else's, or at least you'd be able to go out for the hour/go sit in your car if it got too much. If OP is eating things like cereal outside of the official lunch break then her colleagues can't get away from it.

OP YWNBU to ask for adjustments to be made.

oracle2811 · 17/07/2018 12:38

I had horrrendous heartburn through all 3 of my PG, so i do understand, but you are there to work, not graze all day.

PlatypusPie · 17/07/2018 12:41

Having company policy as everyone eating their lunch at their desks at the same time, with screens off, is very different from people randomly taking their lunch break and even more different from someone eating frequently. If it is one person eating among a whole bunch of others who are waiting for the general shut down break it is going to be very irritating and distracting and may be so much more disturbing than the OP realises - eating a bowl of cereal is noisy in an unpleasant way and the smell of an orange really carries.

I do get the little and often thing - I felt that way myself but there are quiter and less intrusive snacks and a quick visit to the kitchen to refuel would not involve much time.

starfishmummy · 17/07/2018 12:41

I think that any snacks eaten at the desk during working hours need to be easy to eat and ready to consume. E.g. no cereal, box of fruit ready prepared rather than stopping to prepare an orange (which is messy).
At proper lunch time anything goes!!

chicola · 17/07/2018 12:43

Eeeeewwww someone slurping and crunching and clattering a bowl of cereal would make me want to strangle them.

UABVU.

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