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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Should she come off benefits-opinions requested

30 replies

Justtheonequestion · 17/07/2018 09:23

Hi I'm asking advice for a single parent friend.
She's been on income support for the last 4 years since having a child. That child now has special needs and she is also a carer.
Things have stabilised somewhat and she's been offered a job which is her dream job, with promises of progression. Her child starts School in September, with support, which is when her job would start.
She is quite excited by the prospect but terrified of the transition. It would mean giving up income support and carers, which means that if she couldn't cope after a month or so, then she wouldn't be able to go back onto those, rather put a claim in for UC. There are horror stories of this, she wouldn't cope with the upheaval and only just copes as it is in terms of managing everything to do with parenting and running a home. She has a lot on and gets no maintenance or weekends with dad. It is literally just her, and she's in a HA home.
Her child's needs mean she could stay at home for some time yet, which she is grateful for but misses working. However working also means further stresses on her, and she isn't sure she'll cope.
AIBU to ask what people would advise? I haven't said so directly, but in this situation I think it'd be wise not to change the status quo until she has to. But I also want what's best for her. She tries so hard.

OP posts:
PaintedHorizons · 17/07/2018 09:40

Without knowing your friend or her child it is difficult to advise but 10 years down the line, if she hasn't got back into work, she might find she is struggling.

Work gives a sense of achievement, a social circle that's not all about her child, her own choices. I also suspect that benefits will be cut more and more as we go on; it is simply not sustainable.

Take the job - all credit to her for getting it - and see how it goes.

CrochetBelle · 17/07/2018 09:45

I'd be really worried about starting the new job at the same time as the child starts school. That's a lot of transition in one go.
Will the new job mean the child has to go into childcare at all?

Original poster
Justtheonequestion · 17/07/2018 09:48

Thank you. You see I'm of two minds. They are only little once, etc. But you're also right that one day she may have to come off benefits, and having a good CV will help with that. She would get the sense of achievement definitely. Plus would see people.
It is just if she cannot cope, that safety net has gone. Although there will be SOME support, it will be A LOT less than now. And it's a lot to give up, in terms of stability. Work doesn't always pay. Plus, once she starts work, there is no money for 8 weeks as she works a month in hand. So having to pay full rent, council tax and bills plus feeding her and her child, will be extremely difficult. Plus that will be Xmas time. It is exceptionally hard to gain independence as a single parent, and sometimes the rights to benefits are to help not hinder. So while they are there should she not be grateful to get them, as it won't be forever?
These are her questions not just mine.

OP posts:
Original poster
Justtheonequestion · 17/07/2018 09:49

No crochet. Just school. The child is at the school nursery at present, he knows the staff and has good support. Not envisaging any problems to be honest. The needs are manageable so long as the structure stays the same, which it will.
The worries are financial only.

OP posts:
Dontfuckingsaycheese · 17/07/2018 09:56

She should discuss this with the jobcentre - it could be that there's some kind of run on type transitional period for her circs where she could return to IS if required. Rules are changing all the time so she needs accurate up to date information to base her decision on. I'm assuming she gets carers because her child is entitled to DLA/PIP. This will continue whether she works or not. So, I believe, if it doesn't work out, her entitlement to carers should resume, and related entitlements.

I once made a decision based on the security my income support claim gave me. I ended up terrified of disrupting my status quo and didn't go for it. (Quit uni after 2 days) I regretted it for years. It's her dream job - she should give it a go imho. There will be additional support available to her. Yes she may worry about the added stress of working but sometimes the benefits can outweigh that - personal fulfillment, adult interaction, personal progression, additional income and some time to escape from, what can sometimes be, an incredibly hard-going home life!

Feelthethunder · 17/07/2018 09:57

She’ll be fine.

I got loads more whilst working than I ever did on benefits, I also had childcare though so that topped my wage up. If she has a low wage, she can claim UC to top it up.

Everyone worries about the switch over but it’s fine, if it’s her dream job and she feels she’s going to enjoy it. She should take it. However, maybe speak to the new employer and ask if she could start late on in sept. Just whilst her child is transitioning.

LovelyBath77 · 17/07/2018 09:58

Could she run the proposed situation through a benefits calculator so she can see how it could be with UC? I heard it is different and she might be able to claim carer's while working full time, would need to check though.

CrochetBelle · 17/07/2018 09:59

Has she input the figures into one of the benefit calculators?

If she puts in her current circumstances it should give a) an accurate figure of what they are in receipt of now, and b) how this figure should sit once switched to UC.
Then she can input the new figures based on working the new job to give a comparison.

Gloopy · 17/07/2018 10:00

Her benefits should run on for 4 weeks after starting work. And she may be able to claim working and child tax credit.
Tell your friend to contact Citizens Advice, they will be able to work out all finances.

Freddiepurrcury · 17/07/2018 10:00

When I changed from benefits to working, I was given housing benefit for the first month so I didn’t get behind on my rent. I had to ask for this but hopefully this is still offered.

Emmageddon · 17/07/2018 10:04

She should take the job. If it all goes pear shaped there is help available.

Original poster
Justtheonequestion · 17/07/2018 10:06

Wow great responses thank you.
She's checked with the job centre and might still be able to claim carers-they're sorting that for her so she knows for definite.
She won't get HB but may get some council tax discount. She'll get significantly less on UC than now.
She will gain qualifications through the job, funded, so in a few years will have a profession-think nursing.
The thought of it is causing her some stress and she said she feels like turning it down to feel better inside. But she's also proud and embarrassed to claim, and wants school to think of her as a working parent.
The thought of having nothing, and a child and home to keep, is terrifying to her. If she loses her home, being HA, she won't get another one, and in her area if you can't home your child it goes into care.

OP posts:
Feelthethunder · 17/07/2018 10:11

She’s overthinking this way too much.

She’ll be fine, HB will be paid for a month and benefits don’t stop until she gets her wage.

Yes she’s gotta pay for stuff herself but that’s just how it is.

Feelthethunder · 17/07/2018 10:11

What’s HA?

Original poster
Justtheonequestion · 17/07/2018 10:19

Housing association.
I'm not sure she is overthinking it. When her ex left it was 3 months before she received any money except 45 pounds a week. She was in arrears, using foodbanks, and struggling to heat the house. After having experiences like that, it makes you scared.
I think she should go for it in principle, but the reality is often different. The current situation is having the opposite effect of making people more reluctant to work.

OP posts:
Rainbowqueeen · 17/07/2018 10:26

I think she should go for it but plan a budget that involves putting away a 3-6 month living expense buffer as soon as possible

If she is a good employee but is finding it tough her employer may be willing to give her part time hours if she proves herself

It sounds like her housing is a secure tenancy and this kind of opportunity may not come up again

Guardsman18 · 17/07/2018 10:42

I'm sure that the Job Centre 'allow' you take a job for a few weeks as a trial. I was told this about 5 months ago. Hope that helps.

Original poster
Justtheonequestion · 17/07/2018 10:56

Good idea re buffer. I will get her to contact the job centre asap. Thanks

OP posts:
LovelyBath77 · 17/07/2018 11:06

The other thing is, if she is still able to claim tax credits, it may be an idea as there is a protection for in the future when changing to universal credit. there is a calculator for that too if she googles and can see what area she is in.

It;s basically not as simple as on / off benefits, but working benefits might help her more than she realises, perhaps, if needed.

MatildaTheCat · 17/07/2018 11:07

Does she have childcare for school holidays and inset days? I’d strongly encourage her back to work but childcare ( also before and after school) needs to be fairly watertight.

Original poster
Justtheonequestion · 17/07/2018 11:22

Lovely, yes to TC. She will still get these

OP posts:
SciFiFan2015 · 17/07/2018 12:23

Take the job. It's terrifying right now but it's future proofing. Likely to be some sort of pension plan involved which is a must have.

OverTheHedgeHammy · 17/07/2018 12:29

I'm a carer. I work from home and get way more in tax credits than I would on other benefits. But then we have a mortgage to pay so don't get Housing Benefits. Carer's allowance is very, very low.

TittyFahLaEtcetera · 17/07/2018 12:50

Does she get DLA for her DC? If not then she should claim it ASAP. it means she will get higher premiums on HB and CTC. It's something I'm really grateful for. I earn the national average for outside of London, but live in an expensive area in the SE and get no maintenance from XP who returned to his home country to avoid the CMS. The extras I get because of DS' DLA mean we live comfortably and I can afford extras for him.

I returned to work ft when DS was 3. I've been made redundant and switched jobs a few times. Some months are tighter than others - especially when they occasionally cock up figures(!) but having a float helps with that.

Good luck to her, and the new job sounds fab!