To have made dh take ds to a&e?

[loz12345]

So dh has just had a go at me for leaving it till after 7:30pm to discuss the possibility of taking ds to out of hours. DS is 12 months old and has been running a temp of between 38 and 39 Degrees it's has been reducing with calpol but it spiked at 39.9 at about 7pm and wasn't really reducing with Calpol so I called 111 who could only offer an appointment in the early hours and suggested it would be quicker to go to local hospital as there is a gp there. I don't drive (this is top of my to do list) so rather than just dh go he decided the both of us should go along with ds (7) we were seen and the gp thinks it is viral as his throats looks rad and advised to manage temp and if no better by Wednesday to go to gp.We were home by 10:30pm which I didn't think was too bad but he is now saying I should have suggested it earlier and is just being totally unreasonable about having to be out at that time -I'm hoping his reaction is because he is worried (ds temp keeps going back into the 39.4 region as soon as calpol wears off) not because he is an arse, this isn't helped by the fact I am a worrier when the kids get sick although I usually manage to calm down enough to be rational (although high temps really do freak me out and I am already planning when to call gp if it doesn't settle down). I am just hoping ds is better asap, dh mood improves and we all get some sleep.

It's probably just worry for your ds. Men can be weirdos 😀 Have you any nuerofen, I find it always works better for tricky temperatures. Get well soon to your ds

Thanks that it what I was thinking, we don't have any neurofen in, never needed it for ds1 or ds 2 till now it's on my to do list as soon as ds1 is at school. Ds 2 it still red hot and now snoring because he is totally bunged up so I am sure it is just a bit of a virus but it's horrible cos he is really fair and looks like he has caught the sun (he hasn't) when he gets this warm.

If I’m reading this correctly, you called 111 when the fever spiked and could no longer be reduced with Calpol which was at 7pm and 111 were the ones who suggested going to hospital and you mentioned it to your DH either straight away. If so I fail to see how you could have suggested it earlier as how were you supposed to know that the fever would spike, especially as earlier in the day it had been reducing with Calpol so it seemed as if he was getting better.

So unless I’m missing something I don’t really don’t see why your DH is annoyed at you. Is he normally like that? Stressed as he’s worried about DS perhaps? Not that stress would excuse his behaviour... Regardless I hope your DS gets better soon and you all manage to get some sleep.

Nurofen is much better than calpol for temperatures, I've found.

Hope LO feels better soon.

Don’t worry about it right now. You are both stressed about your DS being sick. It is worrying when you can’t control the fever. It is stressful going to out of hours.

When this virus has passed and your DCs are playing and babbling happily in the sun in a week or so, sit down and have a supportive discussion with your DH about whether the two of you could have handled it better or if it’s only possible to have said “we definitely should have done that differently” with the benefit of hindsight.

Thank you, yes he does get stressed and usually leaves everything to me, I think he was just annoyed cos I didn't get him into the dr yesterday morning, but tbh I think they would have sent me away as temp was reducing with calpol,I think there have been a lot of worried mums round here as a mum from school died of septicaemia a few weeks back so I think everyone is being more cautious. Anyway this last lot of calpol hasn't helped his temp at all but he is having a cold bottle so hopefully that will help a little I mentioned it to dh and asked what he thinks we should do and he just looked blank at me which is normal I wish someone had told me to make sure I was marrying an adult who was capable of thinking for themselves as life is hard work if not especially on 4 hours sleep on 2 days

Definitely get nurofen in.
I think also there comes a point where you need to seek further advice if symptoms persist and temp continuing to spike as dosage wears off.
I think your DH reluctance to go to hospital and “see how things go” is not unusual with men. I wouldn’t apologise for making him take him, you are his wife and the mother of god children. Your instincts are probably correct.
Hope your little one is soon much brighter.

Would an infant first aid course help your DH perhaps? Or is he pretty much useless with any decision making?

Thanks all, pretty much useless with any decision but good at day to day looking after the boys. A first aid course is a good idea but not sure he would do it, he had to do one for work and I heard about it for weeks. Thankfully temp has dropped a bit and he has had about 270 ml of milk so I am having a cuppa. I think we really need to talk about how we deal with things cos ds who is 7 was the voice of reaso bless him telling his dad we need to make sure he is ok as it's our job to keep him safe nothing like a small child to put you in your place

Sounds like he could do with being left to be the decision maker a lot more. Nothing like practice for improving a skill.

Also, so glad to hear DC is improving at the moment. Hope you get a bit of rest.

Thanks I know I should leave him to it I think it's a confidence thing either that or he knows if he keeps quiet long enough I will sort out whatever it is then he can blame me when things go wrong

If your ds gets a high temperature like this again you should give him both calpol (paracetamol) and nurofen (ibuprofen) at the same time. This was the advice from 111 when dds temperature was almost 40 degrees as a baby. The two combined should take effect very quickly. Perhaps half an hour. I understand why you were so concerned and I really don’t understand why they didn’t tell you to buy ibuprofen immediately. It may have saved a trip, which is never nice for an ill kid.

Bless him. Glad he’s sleeping now. Get your dh to buy some before work then try and rest today. He behaved like an arse. It sounds like he may have panicked.

Was there any reason why you and ds1 had to go? I would be working on trying to get dh to take responsibility for night time a&e/ ooh trips. It is late for your 7yr old to be out and if you take responsibility in the day then considering the hassle of all four of you going it seems logical that he should go.

I agree with you it is really late for ds1, normally I would have stood my ground a bit more but they are not doing much at school and he wanted to come as he was really worried about his little brother as this is the first time he has really been ill since he was born but as the dr said we better get used to these trips as he is at nursery and we have got off lightly so far x

Totally agree with poster re using calpol and nurofen in that circumstance.

Are you going to get some ibuprofen first thing this morning?

As others have said, get infant ibuprofen, far better for temperatures. We find calpol doesn’t help much but it will at least help with pain if your DS has a sore throat.

It can be scary when they get high temperatures, it seems to be the way my LO reacts to anything viral, a reading of 40.2 was quite worrying one night! We were advised by a paediatrician at the children’s hospital that it was right to have them checked over then if temperature was coming down with paracetamol/ibuprofen to manage it at home. We were told to bring them to hospital or out of hours if the symptoms worsened or they still had a fever in 48 hours.

You did the right thing. As suggested maybe a first aid course would help him?

Totally agree with giving Calpol and Ibuprofen especially for high temps, which can trigger Febrile Convulsions. Our daughter had 3 of these at 16 months due to a spike in temp because of a sore throat ect. They are very scary and can be dangerous. We were also told to use a tepid bath to help bring the body temp down.

Yes I am going to chemist as soon as ds1 is dropped off at school it's only round corner, we never needed to use ibuprofen with ds 1 as calpol was always fine but then he always gets vital rashes rather thank really high temperatures and the one time he has a high temp (same as ds2 last night) he ended up being admitted due to a chest infection that they could only see on an X-ray. I was going to get ibuprofen before we took him anywhere but the advice from 111 was not to until he had been seen they were not much help tbh they offered me two appointments with ooh, but hung up before I could double check the location so I had to call back to check which didn't help the stress levels tbh

Ok great. Strange that 111 gave you such different advice from me. Maybe because things have changed in the last 9 years. My dd was similar age or maybe 2/3 months older tops.

And remember to sleep when that baby sleeps today!

Mummyoflittledragons, that's the thing I have found with having a fairly big age gap so much of the guidance has changed since ds1 was a baby, ds 2 won't settle unless he is on me at the moment so sleeping might be hard as he is as the dr said last night built like a rugby player