To tell him go ahead and leave job

[Worzil10]

Son started a job in retail weekends but he is bored silly with it and is moaning abt the poor wage and is now fed up of missing out on time with mates. Money is so bad 12 hours a week and it works out to abt £150 max a month. he is 17.

Well maybe I can be soft but my ds seems to have turned out okay.

I agree with rocinante

He’s 17. He should be finding his own work not letting mummy do it for him.

I agree, work does get in the way of a social life but that s life.

You say you think it’s crap him working weekends for such rubbish money. What kind of work do you think he is capable of doing? What pay do you think he should get?

We all have to start somewhere. It’s work experience, it’s something to go on his cv when he starts looking for a proper job. It shows future potential employers that he’s worked from a young age and managed his time between work and school / college

Offer support yes, maybe offer to help top up his spending money if you feel it’s necessary but I wouldn’t be encouraging to quit.

@Worzil10

He's working 8 hours a week... that's nothing. And he doesn't like how it interrupts his social life? Social lives do not stop once you leave education and enter full time work... So what's he going to do? Just quit when he realises that a 'proper' job is interfering with his social life?

You come across as someone who wraps their kid in cotton wool; it's not a good way to parent. He is now a grown young adult... And you're still looking for jobs for him? When are you going to cut the umbilical cord?

Grow up... Or your son never will.

When kids are young, we teach them to read and write, ride a bike and to play well with others.

When they're older we teach them different lessons. His job is boring and badly paid. Lots of people's jobs are. They can leave them and have no money, stay and suck it up, or train and learn and earn more, changing their future while still in a job.

What you should be teaching him (rather than 'give up; mummy will fund you and find you something new') is to look for a better job while working hard at the job he has. That's a life skill.

I don't think you should encourage him to leave... that's the easy option. He needs to learn the way of the world

Surely this is a choice for him?

When growing up my brother and I had the same pocket money of £20 a month. Our parents provided all family food, cosmetics (basic shampoo etc.) and stuff for school/college plus paid for family days out. Anything else we wanted, such as cinema money or buying fancy shampoo or party clothes, we had to pay for.

Our choices were the same.

I chose to work and be able to have the freedom of money. I had plenty of cash but was at school M-F and then at work all day S & S.

My brother chose not to and to have the freedom of time. He lived within his means and went without extras.

It was a good lesson for us both.

Presumably he will need references from this job for future, better paid positions? A lot of people graduate college/university and have no real experience, even a retail job is better than that. I got my first 'real' job with references from a packing factory I worked at when I was 18.. even though it was a skilled/degree required position they still wanted to know I could put in a full days work.

He's working 8 hours a week... that's nothing.

When DD entered Sixth Form we were advised that 8 hours work per week was the MAXIMUM they would recommend. Anymore they found tended to interfere with study.

Of course it is the start of the holidays now so more hours fine.

Look I don't wrap him in cotton wool I just see both sides to anybody's feelings in life.
I have told him he isn't far off been a adult and this is the way of life and I have told him this is a start and it doesn't have to always be this way he can work his way up etc etc.
Please don't judge me because I happen to see why he feels like he does.

Also my ds is at college more or less full-time studying so he isn't sitting on his arse moaning abt his only function a weekend job for poor money.

This is his last summer of freedom really. My dd is the same age and we have talked about her getting a part time job but would rather she does her work to a high standard which she does and help in the house. She is away a lot over this summer with cadets and it is the last year she can do all the activities as she will be too old next summer. Could you afford for him to do jobs at home so a bit of pocket money?

When I was 17 my parents gave me an allowance, i wanted more money but I didn’t expect my parents to fund my lifestyle so I got a weekend job. A lot of my college friends had jobs because they wanted to save for their first car, driving lessons etc.

It’s not just about the money, having a job is helpful in budgeting, timekeeping, getting on with different types of people.

Of my friends who didn’t have jobs, about half of them went into jobs in medicine, investment banking etc so it didn’t matter that they didn’t have work experience behind a till. However, some of them really struggled to get anything after graduation because they had never worked and hadn’t studied for a specific vocation/profession.

I think you need to encourage him to make his own decision. £150 a month is a lot when you’re 17

So spirited your using this post to brag are you.
Well good for him all 17 year olds should be doing that

It's not exploitative pay. It's the national wage for his age

The one doesn't exclude the other.

It is exploitative. If he were 18 he'd earn more. If he were 21 he'd earn more. But he's doing the same job. So why shouldn't he earn the same hourly rate? Using a till or stacking shelves is the same whoever is doing it. It's different if you work in a specialist shop where special knowledge is needed.

However, anyone who had a Saturday job has worked for rubbish pay. If my son wanted an expensive social life he'd have to fund it himself.

Oh dear!

You see he will meet lots of 'matronly' women and 'stern' men who won't appreciate a young, unskilled, inexperienced worker with demands or an attitude. If you go for a job you have to be prepared to stick at it. Remember how much time and effort goes into recruitment and it becomes obvious why 'bored now' doesn't cut much ice with employers!

Yes, we all bollox up a few when we first start working and, in my opinion anyway, as his mum you should be helping him come to terms with the enormous change he is starting to experience.

'Menial' jobs are a whole of life working reality for some people, denigrating them (and I appreciate it wasn't you OP) is only going to set kids up to feel like failures as we all start with 'menial' work- unless someone else supports us past that point of life.

So it's your choice OP. Is now the right time for your DS to start learning the boring realities of adult life? Or do you think he will happily survive one last summer with lots of leisure time and no money?

It is exploitative. If he were 18 he'd earn more. If he were 21 he'd earn more. But he's doing the same job. So why shouldn't he earn the same hourly rate?

Well, lots of reasons, starting with experience, reliability and ending with the law!

This is real life you know? You can't walk into a job and demand the same pay as the most experienced or hghest paid individual in a team / department.

I have NEVER understood the reasoning behind demanding equal / higher pay for teens or new employeeswhen they don't have any experience. It costs a bloody fortune to train someone, get them up to speed, efficient etc. You need to rethink it... acknowledge the employer who does train up employees, giving them transferable skills they can use in any / every other job they go for.

But I shall sit here and watch my post get flamed... as that kind of logic just doesn't seem to work here (for many not all posters, obviously)

As for training curious my ds had somebody supervising him first day on the till then he was left to it.
There has been no other training.

Obviously he is doing okay because they have kept him and offered occasional extra hours.
Not really been that hard for them has it.

The reality is they use the young ones for the shit hours that nobody else wants to keep doing and get away with shit pay because our law says it's okay.

You know they can pay more if they want to

Son on £4.20 ph now at 17 he moans sometimes. So I say find another job you like. He does get a lot of hours in the summer though can earn £600. He does like to buy eye wateringly expensive trainers. Asos beat a trail to our door regularly. It is also good for him to see how the world works and learn to mix with older people. When he complains about a manager who was in his opinion wrong we laugh and say you just have to suck it up, you will come across folk like that in life. He does work very hard, harder than older kids, but it is company policy to give the minimum wage whether you are a worker or a shirker.

Yes welshmist my son keeps ASOS in business lol.
He has just spent £145 on trainers

Yes it's good for them I know.
We do have some laughs though with him.