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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Nursery graduation

141 replies

LadyRussell · 16/07/2018 22:41

My FB feed is full of children “Graduating” from Nursey, last day at primary/middle prom.

Parents sobbing - loads of people off work for “graduation” from schools.

WTAF?

I went along with prom for my DD in yr 11 as that is what she wanted but all that other shit WTAF? I couldn’t attend sports days because I was a working single mum never mind “graduation”.

I never cried when my kids changed school - does this make me a shit parent?!

Why do we have to embrace all this American shit? Baby showers? Graduations? Gender reveal?

ARGH!!

OP posts:
glintandglide · 17/07/2018 19:47

Why is American such a terrible thing? Imagine calling something Nigerian, or Irish, or Colombian, with such distaste. It’s nice that they celebrate so much.

Theycouldhavechoseneve · 17/07/2018 19:47

I’m embarrassed on behalf of the parents and nursery Soy

Original poster
LadyRussell · 17/07/2018 19:48

Because I hate the sickly sweet front of celebration spreading here from a nation who insist on the right to bear arms and voted Donald Trump in as their president.

OP posts:
SoyDora · 17/07/2018 19:49

I’m embarrassed on behalf of the parents and nursery Soy

Fair enough, fairly pointless emotion though isn’t it, as I presume they are happy to be involved? Up to you if you want to waste energy on feeling embarrassed on behalf of other people (who probably don’t give a shit what you think) though 🤷🏻‍♀️

Original poster
LadyRussell · 17/07/2018 19:50

Also difficult to choose not to be involved if your 4 yr old child wants to be!

OP posts:
SoyDora · 17/07/2018 19:53

Well that’s your decision. You can make a political stand and tell your 4 year old why you won’t be attending, or you can go along and grit your teeth because they are happy and enjoying themselves. Up to you!

likeacrow · 17/07/2018 19:59

I think it's a bit OTT but harmless unless parents feel obliged to part with significant sums of cash (i.e. over a fiver), in which case it's shit.

This thing some MNers have of calling a poster miserable or joyless in response to them having a bit of a rant, alongside implying that they themselves are oh so happy-go-lucky and carefree, is bullshit by the way. Think up a new response.

DancingDot · 17/07/2018 20:00

Well plenty of people manage to raise their children within the parameters of their own values and beliefs, I'm sure if it actually meant that much to you, you would decline to participate in such things and explain to your child why. Have the courage of your convictions etc.

glintandglide · 17/07/2018 20:08

Oh Op. you are being hilarious and weird

Gingerninj · 17/07/2018 20:10

DS had a little nursery graduation when he left, they had little gowns and hats on but it was only for fun, no one was taking it seriously. When DD left primary they had a prom, she even went in a limo with a group of friends. But again, it was for fun. most of them had known each other since nursery and some wouldn't be going to the same schools as others so there were some tears from a few kids but it would have been a bit strange if parents started crying.

GrumpetLikesCrumpets · 17/07/2018 20:43

I agree with you OP. My fab feed is the same. It’s a milestone, sure, but it’s NOT graduation. Come on.

Hillarious · 17/07/2018 21:01

End of term/year/nursery/school party - yes.

Graduation from nursery or school? A bit silly really.

Been to DD's graduation today. A proper one. Proud of her and all her hard work to achieve what she's achieved.

Original poster
LadyRussell · 17/07/2018 21:13

Hillarious

Well done to your DD.

OP posts:
Wdigin2this · 17/07/2018 21:25

Plain daft!

Hillarious · 17/07/2018 21:29

LadyRussell Thank you Smile

LaurieMarlow · 17/07/2018 22:48

Upgrading it to a “graduation” is just yuck

Not exactly a sophisticated argument, calling it 'yuck'. If you could articulate your problem with it more clearly that would help.

I see you've also called it 'trashy' (how so?) and American (what's inherently wrong with that?) These don't help me understand your issue with it either I'm afraid.

bonbonours · 17/07/2018 23:04

However, I do agree that making it a thing parents have to shell out money for is crap. Crax your £70 thing sounds insane. So far with three kids in education for the past eight years I have never had to pay anything for any of their leaving ceremonies. Might have had an option to buy a photo for a few quid. Had an option to buy a leavers hoodie for £12 at end of year 6. Otherwise it was just a ceremony where the kids performed something and got a certificate or medal and the parents clapped (and wiped away a tear). Simple. Can't see why it would need to cost money. Mostly it included free tea and cake for parents.

LipstickHandbagCoffee · 17/07/2018 23:35

It’s only tacky if you make it so,like many things in life,event are how you react too
Graduation from nursery,IMO it is notable for the weans and that’s worth celebrating
How will they progress,what lies ahead?who knows!but it’s okay yo celebrate joy and individual achievement

HoppingPavlova · 18/07/2018 04:06

*Graduation from daycare is celebrating the milestone where you have worked to achieved the necessary requisites to start school.

That's not true at all. You've passed the milestone of being at the age to start school.*

You could also say that about leaving school. Someone has sat in a seat for 13 years, done nothing, learnt nothing but yet they graduate from school simply because they have sat on a seat for 13 years and have progressed in age each year?

I have had one graduate school to go to uni and I really don't understand how that was any more worthy than when they graduated from daycare to go to school?

It's not simply about being a magic age to go to school. For the last 2 years at daycare they do a preschool program for school readiness. I am assuming nursery is exactly the same. They have a list of accomplishments that should be achieved in order to be ready for school. They must recognise each letter of the alphabet, know the sound the letter represents and how to form the letter correctly on paper; recognise and be able to write their name; recognise numbers and have basic counting skills to 20; know the common colours; be able to use scissors proficiently; be able to hold a pencil and write with the correct grip; have developed fine motor skills to a certain level of proficiency i.e. tracing along a line and not colouring outside of lines; being able to fit in with a 'school structure' to the day, sitting on a mat for a period when required, sitting at a desk for the required period, letting the teacher talk uninterrupted, following instruction; being able to take turns and have reached the necessary level with social skills; being able to apply sunscreen proficiently without assistance (given no school teacher with a class of 30 kids can do this for every kid when they start); being able to toilet and dress/undress including shoes independently; being able to use a lunchbox correctly and recognise what is recess food as opposed to what is lunch food and be able to open all required containers/packets independently.

Of course not all kids are necessarily going to check every single box upon graduation. One of mine has ASD and I can tell you the social side of things was not up to scratch and fine motor was running behind but their graduation was celebrating the enormous amount of effort put in by both teachers and children to achieve school readiness. It was not merely a celebration of turning 5yo and being old enough for school!

GameOfMinges · 18/07/2018 08:02

Some of it seems to be the same stuff we used to do years ago but with a different name. I went to a nursery 'graduation' for one of mine that was a short leaving party parents were invited to, which have been around a while. Obviously lots is new and/or exaggerated but I think some of it is just a not necessarily even tarted up version of things I recall from the 90s.

I agree the money is a concern though. At my primary school we had a big leaving party when we finished Year 6, and I had a new outfit for that then: possibly a strain on my parents who were on a low income at the time. The party they do at my kids school now doesn't seem much different to what we had 20 years ago but I hear about some 11 year olds having limos and stuff.

liverbird10 · 18/07/2018 08:50

"Nursery graduation"?!

Excuse me. What is this shit?! Shock

sashh · 18/07/2018 09:00

I live in a deprived area, very few people have a uni education. The local infants school do this, the children make the mortarboard from paper and use a bin liner for the gown.

It gives the children an idea of what a graduation is and that they can go to uni.

Theycouldhavechoseneve · 18/07/2018 09:30

Fair enough, fairly pointless emotion though isn’t it, as I presume they are happy to be involved? Up to you if you want to waste energy on feeling embarrassed on behalf of other people (who probably don’t give a shit what you think) though

You can say that about almost any emotion we feel in relation to things we’re removed from. Doesn’t stop me cringing though

MarthasGinYard · 18/07/2018 09:34

What a load of tosh

Cringe

They'll be in the tacky limo's next Confused

walkingtheplank · 18/07/2018 12:12

Totally with you OP.
My DD finishes primary school this week and some parents are winding themselves into a frenzy. The Leavers Party has involve more organising than a wedding with lots of must-have items to be given to the children. Frankly, I think my DD just wants to run around and dance with her friends. She's not fussed about the colour of sweet bags or how big the pom-poms decorations are.
We've had mums complain that it's a party not a prom and that the children onlyget one day to have their shirts signed.
Tomorrow is Leavers Assembly. Lots of mums saying they're crying just thinking about it. The biggest noise will be those mums crying theatrically and then their daughters will join in.
I actually don't get what's so upsetting about children completing primary school and moving on to the next stage in their life.
I guess the last laugh will be on me though because ultimately my children will move on and away to be independent whilst their children will probably stay nearby as adults. Hmm, perhaps I should change my ways!

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