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Original poster

Nursery graduation

141 replies

LadyRussell · 16/07/2018 22:41

My FB feed is full of children “Graduating” from Nursey, last day at primary/middle prom.

Parents sobbing - loads of people off work for “graduation” from schools.

WTAF?

I went along with prom for my DD in yr 11 as that is what she wanted but all that other shit WTAF? I couldn’t attend sports days because I was a working single mum never mind “graduation”.

I never cried when my kids changed school - does this make me a shit parent?!

Why do we have to embrace all this American shit? Baby showers? Graduations? Gender reveal?

ARGH!!

OP posts:
strawberrisc · 17/07/2018 07:00

My daughter’s graduation from nursery was a wonderful day. It was also a fabulous opportunity for us parents to thank the staff en masse for their kindness and hard work. We went to the fair afterwards!

AirForce0ne · 17/07/2018 07:08

Meh, of course it has no real value, but it's cute. It's very good for the kids to be proud to stand in front of a room full of adults, the younger they start and they more confident they will be.

It's lovely of nurseries to make a special day of the last day, they went for graduation, why not. I think it's better than a mini disco renamed "Prom". Going to Primary School is a big step for a little one, nothing wrong in celebrating.

No one expects them to put their graduation certificate on their CV, cheer up! Grin

NoWordForFluffy · 17/07/2018 07:23

There are professional women at work taking time off for this and feeling guilty for it.

I'm a professional woman who's taking time off tomorrow for DS' preschool 'graduation'. I don't feel guilty in the slightest!

DS has been there for two years and DD also went for two years (they had overlap last year). It's a wonderful setting with staff who truly adore the children and I'll be sad to say goodbye to them.

It's utterly harmless in the scheme of things, but parents don't have to go if it's not their thing!

MsHippo · 17/07/2018 07:34

@DieAntword I thought we were the only people that called it a Desmond!! You've brightened my morning with that Grin

NoWordForFluffy · 17/07/2018 07:42

Don't most people call it a Desmond? It's a common turn of phrase, I think.

WeightedCompanionCube · 17/07/2018 07:43

Was a Desmond where I was at uni as well (I didn't get one - missed a first by one fucking mark apparently).

Preschool haven't gone down the graduation route - they did a leaver's concert (they did present them with a "scroll" which was that "places you'll go" poem) which DD2 missed as she ended up in hospital with pneumonia so missed all her goodbye stuff. DD1's reception class had a "graduation" which translated into a cash grab for the school with nice fancy photos of them in hats and gowns (that were bloody cute so you ended up buying them regardless) and a little ceremony where the head pretended she actually knew who these kids were by reading off a crib sheet completely.

Tumbleweed101 · 17/07/2018 07:59

We are doing this at our nursery as part of a larger event. Some of the children moving to school have been with us since they were babies. It's a nice way to say goodbye to them and their families and to help them mark the transition they are about to make.

It's a bit of fun and a way to make them feel special and know it's a time to say goodbye but look forward to the future.

SoyDora · 17/07/2018 08:02

Ah DD’s was a bit of fun. She had a little party with her friends then parents joined after for half an hour ‘ceremony’ (they sang some songs on stage). It was at 6pm so DH just made sure he was home on time.

CrackerCrisp · 17/07/2018 08:07

There are professional women at work taking time off for this and feeling guilty for it.

Actually my DH is taking time off and doesn’t feel guilty.

Soubriquet · 17/07/2018 08:10

Oh you're such a grumpy spoil sport OP

My dd missed her graduation as she was going on holiday but she still received a certificate.

My Ds has his next year and I can't wait to see it.

It's an achievement. From little babies who probably couldn't socialise very well, cried at being left, couldn't write anything to being a young child ready for school.

Original poster
LadyRussell · 17/07/2018 09:30

Ok I get the moving on thing and having a little celebration.

I think what bugs me is the “cash grab” thing. Where it turns into a money making opportunity.

I was a single mum and it used to fill me with dread.

I do hate all these American things coming over here though - If that makes me grumpy then ok.

OP posts:
SoyDora · 17/07/2018 09:32

Ours was free 🤷🏻‍♀️. Actually no, we paid £1 for refreshments but I hardly think they made big bucks out of it (ours is a charity run pre school though, not a private nursery).
My MIL did the whole ‘urgh I hate all these American traditions coming over here’ thing. I told her that was fine as she wasn’t invited anyway so no need to get worked up over it.

CrackerCrisp · 17/07/2018 09:36

Ours is free. In fact we got given ice creams.

icelollycraving · 17/07/2018 09:42

Well ds has a graduation from nursery complete with gown etc. I didn’t go as I was working. The photo was odd and I didn’t buy it.
He had graduation from reception and year 2 (so end of ks1). I went to both, cried at their earnest happy little faces. I celebrate their happiness.
So some women take a day off to do something important to their child, some women can’t. Same goes for men. There were lots of dads at the ones I went to, I took photos for friends who couldn’t get time off.
There are a shitload of things that School would like us to attend, I can’t do it all.

SoyDora · 17/07/2018 09:45

Oh and we got given their graduation photo as a ‘leaving gift’. DD’s was lovely.

Original poster
LadyRussell · 17/07/2018 09:51

It just strikes me that the advent of all these things, baby showers, gender reveals, graduations from nursery, proms and even Halloween have got bigger as the use of social media has grown.

When my kids left first school then had a leavers assembly which I think I attended I don’t remember. Middle school they had a leavers assemly which I don’t think parents were invited to as it was about the children and of course when they left secondary they would have died if I had been anywhere near.

IMO us a parents us wailing and crying over every tiny milestone and plastering it all over social media does not teach them to regulate their emotions appropriately or build any resilience.

OP posts:
SoyDora · 17/07/2018 09:53

Well no one from DD’s pre school put anything on Facebook or wailed and cried, so maybe that’s just the people you know?
It was a fun, happy occasion. The kids loved it.

HoppingPavlova · 17/07/2018 09:57

Mine had this many many years ago, it’s nothing new. It’s actually a really big milestone, graduating from 5 years at a place where you entered as a baby and leave as a child ready for ‘big school’.

They had a gown (borrowed each year from centre), a tasseled cap made from cardboard as a craft activity and they got a certificate. Parents could take a photo of their own child graduating with their own camera. Bring a plate of party food. No extra costs!

I’m a professional woman. I certainly did not begrudge taking time off to celebrate this milestone with my kids.

TheLesserOfTwoWeevils · 17/07/2018 09:58

There are professional women at work taking time off for this and feeling guilty for it.

Not me. I'm taking the afternoon off and don't feel in the slightest bit guilty. After over 3 years of missing coffee mornings, sports days, mother's day picnics because of work I will not feel guilty about making the effort to attend his final nursery event. And he's so excited about it!

HoppingPavlova · 17/07/2018 10:01

Actually thinking back it would be really rare that a child did not have both mum and dad attending the graduations my kids had. Also, I would not be ashamed to let my kids see me quietly shed a tear from pride and nostalgia at such an occasion, I really didn’t think I needed to regulate emotion as such.

Original poster
LadyRussell · 17/07/2018 10:07

I have family in Germany so am familiar with the starting school “Schultüte”.

Is completely different as is a tradition which dates back to the early 19th century. The Germans are also a nation of people who struggle with national pride.

These are things which are adopted from America by the British.

OP posts:
HoppingPavlova · 17/07/2018 10:09

So ?????

DancingDot · 17/07/2018 10:46
  • Ours was totally free. All children and adults were given something to eat and drink, and the children were given the school tie of whichever school they were moving up in to. I can't imagine what you have experienced that was a "cash grab".
  • There were no tears from parents or children. I thought I might get a bit emotional but actully it was such an exciting and happy time that there were no tears. All of us were able to regulate our emotions appropriately.
  • As far as I know, parents are not invited to the end of primary school dance, or the Secondary Prom. Parents may well post pictures of their children before they attend these events but they don't go to them.
  • Children may well get emotional at leaving primary or secondary (There was not a single tear at the nursery leavers), but this is not a new thing and certainly not linked to social media. When I left high school (a veeeeery looong time ago)...the girls were all wailing and gnashing their teeth.

Having said all of that - I do think that school "proms" have got a bit of hand. I have heard tale of limo's and dresses that cost more than my wedding dress. But again, the parent committee at our local school put a stop to all of that and now the children are encouraged to meet in the local village and form a procession to walk up to the school for the disco. Makes it a bit of a ceremony and gets rid of the cost and one upmanship!

MrsSnootyPants2018 · 17/07/2018 10:57

My daughter has hers on Friday. It's sweet. They do a play and get given a book of everything they've done at the nursery. Given she's been there since she was 1, it should be an interesting read.

Ours also do a bbq for parents after.

They are pointless and silly, but it means something to this children and DD is excited we're going.

LaurieMarlow · 17/07/2018 11:07

Ds's nursery does it and it's really cute.

They dress up in the gowns (which is admittedly a bit silly, but harmless), sing some songs and get a little scroll. No charge. The kids love it.

It's a nice way of marking the transition. I think we need more of these kinds of rituals, not less.

I've never understood why people object to new traditions on the grounds that they're 'American'. What's inherently wrong with a practice coming from the states?