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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Should I have told the nursery nurse about this...?

12 replies

TheSheepofWallSt · 16/07/2018 21:15

Bit of a weird one.

Went to pick up 2yo DS from nursery this afternoon. It was absolutely bucketing down, and all the kids (0-2s and 2-3s) were in the garden under the awning watching the rain.
There were two nursery nurses and about 6 kids- another staff member was pottering round inside tidying up.
One of the nursery nurses went inside to get the diary sheet, so I knelt by my DS on the fake grass, watching the rain while the other kids were milling around- a few who know “Sheeps Mummy” came up to say hello- nursery nurse 2 was ushering one of the kids back under the cover out of the rain.

In the midst of this, one of the “older” children i don’t really know, walked over to me, and purposely grabbed my boob, then walked away again. He was sort of giggling and it didn’t feel “malicious”- but definitely odd, being so “out of nowhere”. Nursery nurse 2 didn’t see- being occupied with the rain dancing kid.

Nursery nurse 1 came back with the diary sheet and I immediately told her what happened, reassured her I wasn’t upset, that children I know do odd things sometimes, and I hadn’t said anything to the child, but that I thought she should know.

Nursery nurse 2 seemed v upset and quite flustered- and said she would report it to the manager. She also said I may have to write up a report.

It really wasn’t a huge deal (in my eyes)- although it would have felt odd NOT to say anything, I felt her level of upset was disproportionate- given the child is no older than 3.5- and kids can do bonkers stuff sometimes.

Now I feel a bit conflicted- and am (weirdly) doubting whether I should have raised it.

WIBU and overreacting myself by mentioning it - or is this more serious than I realise (being the mother of a boob obsessed breastfeeding) - and I’m actually not taking it seriously enough?

OP posts:
TheSheepofWallSt · 16/07/2018 21:16

Jesus that’s long.

In short:

Boob grabbed by strange child at DS nursery. I reported, nursery nurse got v upset, now I’m not sure who is over reacting.

OP posts:
Racecardriver · 16/07/2018 21:18

They were probably upset because of how the child's parents may react not because of anything you did.

KindergartenKop · 16/07/2018 21:19

Inappropriate behaviour can be a sign of kids seeing inappropriate stuff at home so it's important that this was noted. You don't know what other stuff this kid says/does. Equally, yes, kids are weird!
You were right to mention it, think no more about it!

MonsterKidz · 16/07/2018 21:19

Sounds as tho the overreaction is purely to cover herself. Like she feels she might be somehow blamed for not seeing. Which is nuts given as you’ve explained why.

Bambamber · 16/07/2018 21:23

YANBU it's better to mention something that may come to nothing, rather than ignore something that could be a sign.

She may have been so upset for any number of reasons. Maybe this isn't the first incident with this child or she was just flustered anyway

MerryMarigold · 16/07/2018 21:23

I work in a nursery and know how you feel. There is a child who is a bit touchy feely. The manager told me the other day that she'd had a complaint that 'a child' (I'm assuming this one) had touched another one down below. And a member of staff complained about the same child. To be honest, I think he's just quite touchy everywhere and I've never experienced it as particularly sexual, though he needs to learn to rein it in. I think some people jump to all sorts of adult conclusions. Of course, the main reason is child protection (ie. That child is being exposed to inappropriate things), but in the case of the kids with you and the kid I know, I think it's just touchy feely/ learning boundaries.

firstevernamechange · 16/07/2018 21:25

You did absolutely the roght thong and NN was completely over the top. This comes under children testing boundaries. The child needs to be told grabbing is inappropriate and why (in am age appropriate way).
I work with kids and had the occasional "grope". I remove the hand and say calmly but firmly: "No, please don't touch my breast. This is private." I then mention it to the parents (as a heads up) and suggest they have a chat about boundaries and ask them ifcthey'd like me to help or if they'd rather tackle it by themselves.

TheSheepofWallSt · 16/07/2018 21:28

Okay that’s reassuring. Thanks all... Hopefully it’ll all be a big nothing in the morning. Smile

OP posts:
TheSheepofWallSt · 16/07/2018 21:30

Have to say, DS is going through a “slap all strange children on sight” phase, so boundaries and managing inappropriate physical contact are very much de rigeur in our house at the moment... Sad

OP posts:
halfwitpicker · 16/07/2018 21:30

Er yes you did the right thing telling them. He needs to know boundaries.

Fuckwithnosensesauce · 16/07/2018 21:31

Anything to do with CP can be very scarey for staff. Perhaps that’s what bothered her.

lynmilne65 · 16/07/2018 21:33

The sheep sorry that made me Smile!

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