Tell me your successful stories of how non engagement with a controlling narcisstic ex worked out. Especially if you have children together.

[bluetrampolines]

I have cut as much contact as i can but he is still desperate for dialogue. Do they really just disappear?

Email only and ignore anything other than essential DC related matters ie changes to contact and if that happens a lot get a CO and stick rigidly to it?

Yes, eventually they get bored and shift their attention elsewhere.

It is a game so you have to try not to play it. My ex pushes my buttons, I react, he gets what he wants (the reaction). When we first split, a ‘round’ of the game could play itself out in minutes. 10 years later, I would say it’s a couple of years now since he got a visible, audible rise out of me. That’s not to say he doesn’t try or that I don’t rant in private. But I can largely manage in front of him. I have perfected a blank stare and I ignore provocation (his latest is emptying his car rubbish into my bin when he picks the kids up - not new but he did stop years ago - he then comments on the content of the bin if the bags are see through. I have just bought a roll of black bags so I have no doubt it will stop.

Sigh.

I have this exact issue. Unfortunately not able to give you a success story (yet..!) as DC still relatively young and do see exP occasional weekends. My method when dealing with crazy word-salad gambits (mostly via text as I can’t usually bring myself to speak on the phone) is to reply to pertinent points only and refuse to engage in anything else. He is annoyingly still able to make me feel angry and upset but I try my best never to let on, as this is exactly what he wants. Counting the years until I can cut him out of my life