Good evening,
I have a 4 year old daughter. She lives with her mother. We were never married nor have we ever lived together. I see my daughter once a week- either on a Saturday or Sunday all day (so about 10 hrs a week).
Over the last 4 years, we have got into a routine. We all go out together on the weekend- I pay for lunches and other treats of course for my daughter and I also buy the mother lunch. I also obviously pay child maintenance as required by law and my name is on the birth certificate.
I want to change this situation and spend more quality time with my daughter but I don't know where to begin. Last week I mentioned taking my daughter to see her grandmother (my mum) but the child's mother said that she needs to accompany us in case my daughter needs to go to the toilet! Yesterday I was playing with my daughter and under constant observation- it felt really uncomfortable. She makes me feel that I'm somehow 'not worthy'. In spite of this feeling I get from the mother, I have a great relationship with my daughter and I always maximize the time I have with her. I worry sometimes that my daughter may pick up these vibes before too long.
The child's mother has recently hinted at the 3 of us going on holiday abroad. Of course I'd like to go on a beach holiday for my daughter's sake but I have real reservations about spending a holiday with the mother and she wants me to pay for her too! As I said, the idea of a holiday sounds lovely but that slightly uncomfortable feeling remains.
I want to have more quality time with my daughter and come up with a compromise about the holiday suggestion- does anyone have any thoughts or suggestions about either of these?
Thanks for any help- it's much appreciated.