About anxiety regarding childbirth?

[PrincessPear]

I have a diagnosed anxiety disorder that always gets worse during pregnancy. During my first pregnancy I was terrified of dying during childbirth and had an elective cesarean for this, which went okay and wasn’t that bad.

I then had three awful losses and found out I have antiphospolipid syndrome.

I’m now, thankfully, pregnant with natural twins and seem to be doing okay despite awful HG again. However now all I can think is because I’m high risk due to previous miscarriage, blood clotting and twins, it means I am going to die.

I’ve already decided on having an elective cesarean again but I’m terrified I will bleed to death as I am on blood thinners. My mother nearly died having me, and my great nana died giving birth to twins. Obviously that was very different, but it plays on my mind.

I’ve got my booking appointment tomorrow. I’m 14 weeks and didn’t book earlier due to fear I would have another miscarriage. I don’t know what to say about this anxiety and any advice will be helpful. I haven’t really spoken about this because I desperately want these babies and think I sound ungrateful. Thank you.

That sounds really hard And you don't sound ungrateful at all.

An obvious question but have you tried counseling or therapy? I had CBT for anxiety many years ago (didn't work 100% but definitely helped) and therapy during pregnancy and it definitely was helpful.

I have had CBT for years but it didn’t do much for me. My anxiety started during my teens and I’ve had it ever since. Medication doesn’t help much either, apart from the occasional diazepam, which I can’t use right now.

I think the HG and lack of sleep is triggering it. I ended up in hospital after vomiting for six hours on Friday but got sent home as I wasn’t dehydrated and told to just put up with it. Have tried three anti sickness drugs and they’re all a bit crap.

Any advice?

I'm sorry for your losses - I think your fears are understandable given all you & your family have been through. Can you ask for consultant leg care and a psychologist referral. I was offered a psychologist referral if I felt I needed it to cope with anxiety in my pregnancy following multiple losses.

Consultant led care, not leg!! Sorry!

I will ask. I have had a consultant to prescribe the blood thinner but haven’t seen them other than that.

Have you tried CBT I’ve found it very useful for ptsd. Other people I know found emdr more helpful though. Ask your midwife if there is a midwife trained in mental health issues you could speak with. You sound like you’ve gone through the mill a bit so talking to someone would probably be helpful

You need to to your midwife 💐 sorry I have no other advice, just try and seek as much support as you can xxx

Hi, ask for an appointment to see the consultant. I had dreadful pre birth anxiety. At 4 months I made the conscious decision to postpone worrying for 3 months. I forgot to start worrying again. I wish you all the best for the c section. Honestly, the vast majority of c sections are safe and you will be I the best hands xx

Thank you everyone. I’ll ask about mental health support. I thought the hard part would be the first twelve weeks and it was but I had forgotten how awful tokophobia is (not as awful as miscarriages of course)