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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To buy DD a dog for her birthday?

50 replies

MrsHoodwink · 15/07/2018 17:45

When she’s only 6?

She’s never asked for anything particular for birthdays/Xmas and she very politely today asked for a small dog for her birthday in a month or so

Now I’ve already got 2 dogs and I’m totally aware of the costs and care, etc and to be honest... I’m more than happy to get another one, I was definitely considering it anyway

Her DF (my ex) says he thinks it’s a bad idea and my partner doesn’t live with me so although he’s not fond of the idea either, can’t tell me no coz it’s my house

Aibu and spoiling her?

OP posts:

tillytoodles1 · 15/07/2018 18:48

. Although it will be "her" dog, I'm sure you'll be doing all the looking after. Go for it, she'll be thrilled. My daughter has three dogs, we did too.

crimsonlake · 15/07/2018 18:54

As there are already 2 dogs in the home, I cannot see why she needs her own dog as such, are you sure it is not more for you than for her and your need to add another dog.
Importantly if you can cope with another one well that is for you to decide. However I should be interested to know of your current situation, are you attached housing wise, do your dogs bark and are you home all day?

MsFrizzle · 15/07/2018 19:05

do your dogs bark and are you home all day?

Bit nosy. Why is everybody so determined to vilify OP before she's said two words other than 'We might get another dog'?

Readyfortheschoolhols · 15/07/2018 19:07

Op as a ddog owner of 4 who hold me no grudges if I stroke one more than another, I say go for it!!

theredjellybean · 15/07/2018 19:09

i think it is a lovely idea, especially as it seems your dd is not particularly greedy about presents, so to ask for something specific she must really want one.
i bought dd2 a puppy for her second birthday ( many many yrs ago) best thing we ever did..she and puppy were best friends for yrs and he was most definitely 'her' dog, he really only loved her, tolerated the rest if us !

PeckhamPauline · 15/07/2018 19:10

Dogs are members of the family, not possessions. If there is room in your existing family for a third dog, and all family members are in agreement, then go for it!

theredjellybean · 15/07/2018 19:10

plus if you explain to your dd that this is going to be her 'dog' and she will need to do its feeding and training etc ( obvs you would supervise and help) then it is a great way to teach responsibility, caring for something etc...

Badbadtromance · 15/07/2018 19:11

I got given a dog at similar age. I loved it! So many happy hours spent playing with it

PeckhamPauline · 15/07/2018 19:12

jellybean While that may be a 'cute' story, it's really not ideal to have a dog that only loves one member of the family,

SilverySurfer · 15/07/2018 19:12

Yes I think YWBU especially as you already have two dogs. I've never thought it appropriate to give living creatures as gifts. If you decide to go ahead please give a home to a rescue dog and not from a breeder or even worse, Gumtree.

WorraLiberty · 15/07/2018 19:12

Get a dog if you want one and make it clear to your DD that it's a family pet and nothing to do with her birthday.

It sends a better message about adult responsibility towards pets.

Greyhorses · 15/07/2018 19:14

I got myself a new dog and DS stole her from me

They are best friends and although I do all of the care she is definitely his dog.

I would say get one if the family wants one but not because a 6yo does.

crimsonlake · 15/07/2018 19:17

Not nosy at all, simply thinking of the neighbours! I would love to get another dog as mine passed away nearly 2 years ago. However my circumstances have changed and I am no longer detached and I would be concerned about any possible barking affecting the neighbours when I popped out.

FASH84 · 15/07/2018 19:23

Why can't she just help with the dogs you already have? She child learn some basic commands or tricks with them. I don't think it gives the right message to give an animal as a gift and PPs are right you won't find an available puppy at a reputable breeder or rescue that you can take home in a matter of a few weeks.

percheron67 · 15/07/2018 19:23

All I ask is please buy from a responsible owner or rescue centre. My daughter saw an ad on Gumtree, paid a Polish chap £300 pounds for him and the dog is probably stolen! Some people will make money anyway they can. Despicable.

GinIsIn · 15/07/2018 19:25

Adopt don’t shop
Animals are living creatures - you can choose to take them into your family but they aren’t presents, and shouldn’t be given as gifts.

Grumpbum · 15/07/2018 19:44

Hey we bought our DS a royal python for his 8th birthday it’s been thoroughly pampered

Readyfortheschoolhols · 15/07/2018 19:54

Ds got a corn snake for his second birthday!! Dsnake is 8 next month!!
It's not like she is single handedly managing a ddog!!

bridgetreilly · 15/07/2018 20:13

I think that's totally fine, actually. You have dogs already, you were thinking about getting another one. At six, obviously she won't do most of the care, but you seem to be completely okay to do that for her. And having a dog of her own would be much better than the plastic tat most kids get for birthdays.

iamyourequal · 15/07/2018 20:17

I think too dogs is plenty for any household to be honest and at 6 she is far too young to take on much responsibility caring for it.

PitterPatterOfBigFeet · 15/07/2018 20:20

Well I wouldn't get her a dog as a birthday present. A dog is a new member of the family and shouldn't be a present anymore than you'd give a new sibling as a present. At 6 she won't have the main responsibility for the dog you will. That said if you as a family want to get a dog by all means make her part of the process.

AnnieAnoniMoose · 15/07/2018 20:30

You were looking at getting a 3rd dog anyway, there’s no harm whatsoever in calling it a present for her birthday. It’s not as if you expect her to take full responsibility for it. It’s nothing like buying one for an adult as a present.

It’s a no brainier, you were getting one anyway, your DD has asked for one for her birthday. You still have total control over the pair of them 😊

Original poster

MrsHoodwink · 15/07/2018 20:35

Thank you everyone for your honest replies

I did want another dog and I’m definitely willing to take on the cost/responsibility so when she asked the only problem I could see is whether it would be appropriate to ‘gift’ one, as has been mentioned

I’m a SAHP so in the house all day, semi detached, no barking at all and the neighbors love our dogs thankfully (but I think they love all dogs). The new dog barking is definitely something I have to consider though

She does see our dogs as her own and at school says “my dogs” but I can’t quite explain how, she thinks it will be really special to have one that’s “hers” and as I was considering one anyway I can’t see much harm in her having that bond with it

But yeah the ‘giving one as a gift’ thing was why I posted here, her DF just doesn’t like ‘little’ dogs and my partner worries 3 might be too many but I feel like I can handle it

OP posts:

Blizzardagain · 15/07/2018 20:47

Tbh the idea that a dog can be passed around as gift isn't a good message to send IMO.

AnotherOriginalUsername · 15/07/2018 20:48

I'm all for growing up with a dog but but feel she may be a bit young for her "own" but ultimately it's up to you.

I had a puppy for my 14th birthday. Our previous two had recently died so we'd have been getting a new dog anyway, so my mum "gave" me one for my birthday - essentially killing two birds with one stone. I always did the work - training, feeding, walking etc and at 18 everything financial - food, insurance, vet etc. became my responsibility.

As I type, 16 years on, that dog is currently walking by my side as we go for our evening stroll over the fields. He's seen me through turbulent teenage years (alcoholic mother), a very tough time at uni (at one stage on the verge of suicide, he was the only thing that kept me going). He's been by my side through work (lives under my desk), through relationships, my first house, marriage, everything. He is my absolute world (even if he is an aggressive little shit!)

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