To think 11 hours of hobby time in a weekend is actually a lot for a parent?

[FlyingDandelionSeed]

DH is grumpy because I just dragged him away from his hobby to spend some time with our toddler. I've just done the maths, he's had 11 hours of child-free hobby time over the course of the weekend, plus a child-free lie one morning, and an extra hour of chill time to himself each evening while I do bedtime, and an hour so he can shower.

I actually think that's a really good chunk of time over the course of a weekend considering we have a young child! AIBU?

It depends if you’re getting the equivalent another time. For example I took the DSs out so DP could enjoy the World Cup Final peacefully with his best mate & a beer. And he had a lie in this morning til 9ish. But I did this knowing that I have a spa day booked next Saturday so he’s got them from 9-4.

I guess once you're in the zone of creativity it's annoying and hard to have to stop.

this was specifically a relaxed weekend at home so we both got to chill and do hobbies etc.
Given that it was a planned weekend for hobbies I can't see the problem. He has 11 hours of hobbies, you have 11 hours of hobbies, any other time you spend together. While you're having your 11 hours he's getting 1 on 1 time with DC s that ticks the spending time with child box.
Sounds more like you need to take more weekends to relax like this and have fewer when you're running around seeing people.

Is he making anything useful?

He's making a totally beautiful dining room table. Which will be lovely. (Although we already have a perfectly nice table so it's a luxury not a need - and the cost of the materials and tools is eye watering!).

Its going to take a lot more of these weekends to finish though!

Given that it was a planned weekend for hobbies I can't see the problem. He has 11 hours of hobbies, you have 11 hours of hobbies, any other time you spend together.

It's worked out at 11 hours for his hobbies and 8 for mine which is pretty good I think! I was very happy with that. It's disappointing he wasn't.

I'm a homebody and would have all my weekends like this (ok slight exaggeration, I'd want us to have family days too). He is the constant planner of visits on weekends - he's always saying things like 'we haven't seen your brother in ages, let's invite him!' and I'm thinking 'but we saw him only three months ago!' .

Unacceptable. Rain hell on his ass for being such an unreasonable grump.

Sounds like obsessive avoidance not hobby.

He is the constant planner of visits on weekends
So you can say - 'we could do that but I thought it would be good if you had time to spend on the table' - he gets hobby time, you get home-time, everyone's a winner!

we could do that but I thought it would be good if you had time to spend on the table' - he gets hobby time, you get home-time, everyone's a winner!

Well, that would suit me but as he was so unhappy with this weekend it's not likely to work, is it?

If he's getting more time regularly though, rather than 11 hours as a one-off... Fewer hours when you know you'll get the same next weekend is miles better than more once in a blue moon because when you stop you know you don't have as long to wait. If he's in the middle of a crucial bit at 11 hours and knows he'll not get back to it for a few weeks then it sucks. But if gets 6 hours in the knowledge that he'll have the same next weekend then he knows before he starts what he's working towards this time and equally knows that he can pick it up again v soon.