Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to wonder why you would take a toddler to see a film that doesn't even start until gone 8

26 replies

cariadlet · 15/07/2018 00:09

This evening I went to see Incredibles 2 with my dp and our 15 year old dd. We went to the 8.15 showing (ie programme started at 8.15 so actual film started later than that and didn't finish until after 10.30).

As it was the last showing of the day I'd expected the cinema to be filled with a mixture of families with older children and with groups of teenagers. On the whole it was.

But when we were queuing to get a drink the man in front of me had 3 children with him. The middle one and the oldest one looked to be about 5 or 6 and about 8 or 9. Personally I wouldn't have taken my dd to a film at that time when she was that age, but understand that different kids need different amounts of sleep, that some kids can cope with a late night by sleeping in late the next morning, that it could have been a one-off special treat etc.

But the youngest was only about 2. The dad was carrying him and the little boy was snuggled into the dad's shoulder, the way kids do when they're really tired. He'd occasionally lift himself up and blearily look around, but was so sleepy that he couldn't hold himself up for long.

Why would you take a toddler out so late when there were literally 13 other showings at that cinema earlier in the day?

My dp and dd think I'm being unnecessarily judgy and that it's nothing to do with me how other people parent their kids (and I know that 90% of the people reading this will agree with them and that I'm going to get flamed for my criticism), but I just felt so sorry for the toddler and thought that he should have been tucked up in bed long before that.

OP posts:
SaucyJack · 15/07/2018 00:15

Probably a Dad with weekend custody and no one at home to leave the youngest with.

Original poster
cariadlet · 15/07/2018 00:23

So why not take the children to one of the 13 earlier showings?

OP posts:
Zephyrsinskyatnight · 15/07/2018 00:29

I suppose he is making an effort to take the kids out i suppose but i definitely wouldn't do it. It makes for a cranky toddler and staying up later usually means a shit night sleep IME.

Eminybob · 15/07/2018 00:30

Maybe he’s been working all day?

Pressuredrip · 15/07/2018 00:30

I've always taken my babies and toddlers to the cinema when they would have their naps in my arms. My 2 year old won't sleep on me for more than 20 minutes anymore, but if he did, I'd take my older kids to the cinema for sure, and let him sleep through it with us.

Most cinemas have a policy where children can't see late films, it's usually 10 pm.

Pressuredrip · 15/07/2018 00:30

You've said why not an earlier one? Most 2 year olds won't sit through a film, I don't see the issue with letting them sleep on laps.

Cryingrightnow · 15/07/2018 00:36

Would you rather he left him at home or just went on his phone all day and let the kids do absolutely nothing?

It's probe a once a few month thing!

If he is that tired he will fall asleep in the cinema. Also he could of fell asleep in the car like my dd always does

ilikesalad · 15/07/2018 02:08

So why not take the children to one of the 13 earlier showings?

Maybe you should have asked him why if you were that curious ?

I’ll admit I’d of probably been judgy and thought the same in my own head. But then reflected myself and realised there was probably a reason why.

You don’t mention if the child was badly behaved? So what’s your problem. ?

The fact that you counted how many showings of the day there were and your own family thinks your judgy says a lot.

You have no idea what or why other people’s circumstances are.

InionEile · 15/07/2018 02:16

Probably hoping the 2-year old would sleep because he would have fidgeted / tantrummed through an earlier showing. Selfish, definitely, but at least the film was kid-appropriate.

We went to see Alien Covenant last year and a couple of parents had brought their very young children to it, 2 or 3 years old. I don't know how they were let in but they were. There were some seriously disturbing scenes in that film! I guess they were hoping the kids would sleep but holy crap if they didn't, they would have had nightmares for weeks. I had my judgy-pants hoiked right up to my chin that time.

RoboJesus · 15/07/2018 02:18

That's probably the only chance he could get

sugarnotsweetener · 15/07/2018 05:21

My husband text from work on Friday to ask if we could take DD to see this, she’ll be 3 in September. He works 2 hours away and we are 1 hour from the cinema so by the time he got home, changed etc the showing we would have been able to get to would have been the 7:45pm screening.

We didn’t go because I’m too heavily pregnant —although probably a good thing since we’d have been judged for being there so late— and couldn’t have coped in the seats for that long. Maybe he also has a 38w pregnant wife who was having a rest at home and he took the kids.

YABU my husband worked away mon-fri in the winter and when he was home for the weekends we did as much as possible together, I used to hate reading judgey threads about what time people took their kids for meals out etc, just be happy kids are spending time with the ones they love. Not how you’d have done it at a “better” time.

OwlBeThere · 15/07/2018 05:32

I used to plan cinema trips so the little one would sleep, because she wouldn’t sit through it and as there is only me it was the only way for her siblings to go. Don’t be so judgemental, you have no idea of other people’s lives.

sashh · 15/07/2018 06:09

Maybe the older two REALLY wanted to see the film and dad knows the toddler would disrupt an earlier showing but will sleep through this one and possibly continue to sleep through the journey home and into bed.

Amanduh · 15/07/2018 06:21

There could be a million different reasons why he took him, of which you know nothing about. Doesn’t sound like he disturbed anybody so yes. Your dp and dd are right, yabu and judging without knowing any facts.

bumblingbovine49 · 15/07/2018 06:27

I wouldn't have with DS as he was the sort of toddler what did not go all sleepy if tired when out and about. He would have been very wired and would have tried to run around and been very fidgety in a desperate attempt to stay awake. It would not have worked at all. He might have slept eventually but the behaviour and tears in the preceding minutes/ hours would not have endeared us to other cinema goersGrin

. If I had the sort of toddler that sleeplily looked around then fell asleep on my shoulder then I might have taken him if it suited me for some reason.

Flutterbyeee · 15/07/2018 06:32

It is none of your fucking business.

duckfuckduck · 15/07/2018 06:36

Maybe he was at work all day, his others wanted to go and he figured the wee one would sleep?

I have a big age gap from oldest to youngest and as a single parent with no help often had to take youngest to things and oldest to things that weren’t really suitable.

Glad to know I was being judged and found wanting when I thought I was just doing my best.

Nasty nasty op. No need for it and none of your bloody business.

ThomasNightingale · 15/07/2018 06:42

I heavily judge parents who take very young children to inappropriate films just because they’re too cheap to shell out for a babysitter, because a) it harms the DC and b) it’s likely to lead to disruption for other audience members. But in this case I can’t really see the harm. More or less appropriate film, quiet child.

duckfuckduck · 15/07/2018 06:43

Hahahaha too cheap?

Ffs. You have no idea.

I had no babysitter and even if I did it was all I could scrape to afford the cinema and a babysitter would’ve made it totally out of reach.

Panicmode1 · 15/07/2018 06:46

If the child was quiet, then I don't see the problem. I personally wouldn't have gone so late, but maybe the other showings were fully booked and they were the only tickets he could get.

Far more annoying was the very small child at our showing yesterday who talked, loudly, all the way through Angry

Oysterbabe · 15/07/2018 06:51

I agree with you. Toddler should be home in bed. They should have rented a film and bought some popcorn or something to have at home. You can't always do everything you want to do when you have small children.

tomhazard · 15/07/2018 07:33

Jesus so judgy. Maybe he's been at work today and had promised his other 2? Maybe something prevented him taking them earlier seeing as life can be a pretty busy thing?

I had someone tutting at me for having my young dc out late the other day on a late train. They were tired and fussy but what they didn't know as that we had been diverted to a different airport after our holiday and the only way home was a 2 hour train ride which we hadn't anticipated. Things happen for loads of reasons posting about it on Mumsnet is a shitty thing to do.

Cupoteap · 15/07/2018 07:48

This is better than to toddler who cried through the first showing of the day that I had yesterday

NemoRocksMyWorld · 15/07/2018 07:58

This could have almost been my husband! He took my 9 year old ds, my 7 year old DD and my just 4 year old Ds. They went to the 7.15 showing. It is eldest ds's birthday today and he wanted to go to the cinema"at night". I stayed at home with the baby and we considered not taking the 4 year old..... But he loves the cinema! He had a wonderful time and can have an extra nap today, he sat quietly (apart from laughing alot!)........ What's the problem?

InCognitoZombie · 15/07/2018 07:59

I've just checked time for The Incredibles at my local cinema and there is only 1 showing in 3d all day and it's at 8.30. I was thinking who would have their kids up that late, now I know.

Swipe left for the next trending thread