When parents make their children friend/spouse

[Codependent]

Are you married to someone like this and how has it effected your relationship?

This is one of the reasons why I'm leaving, just curious to see if someone else been through the same.

In the beginning of our relationship she lied about me and told him stuff I never said, it's like she wanted me out of the way. I tried to get on with her, but she's so difficult.

PintOfMineralWater I know. Covert incest is a sex thing. What the op is talking about is not a sex thing.

Itoldyouiwasgeeky

From wiki: "Covert incest, also known as emotional incest, is a type of abuse in which a parent looks to their child for the emotional support that would be normally provided by another adult.[1] The effects of covert incest on children when they become adults are thought to mimic actual incest, although to a lesser degree.[2] This term describes interactions between a parent and child that are exclusive of sexual abuse."

Ok fine, I’m sorry I’ve had a drink and couldn’t be arsed to google.

I’m still not sure why they would choose a word as upsetting and inflammatory as incest for that kind of emotional abuse. I’m sure it’s awful to live with, but as awful as incest?

DaisysStew I'm not sure if you didn't read the OP or if you're just being defensive about your own (totally different) situation?

It is normal to provide support to an elderly parent, of course. Being close to them is also normal. But when the relationship you have with that parent impacts negatively on your own spouse (which is the part of the OP you seem to have overlooked), there is a problem. The OP has outlined that quite clearly.

The only other place I’d read about it was a thread on here where a father was behaving very Peculiarly with his daughter. Casually touching here and ‘setting her up’ with his friends etc.

I read it (thanks for being so patronising) and at the time I posted comment the OP had said nothing weird or really any different to my own relationship with my mother. And my mum isn’t elderly- she’s 56. She doesn’t need me to call her everyday, I do it because I enjoy her company and value her input in my life.

OP ((((((Hugs)))))) I've left you a private message.

OP that sounds awful, what a dysfunctional relationship they have. Ignore the defensive replies from posters it was clear from your OP that you were not just describing a close relationship between mother and son.

I think a lot of single mothers end up doing this with their teenage sons sadly

My friend dose this she borrows money off her son he gets him to pick up her younger kids
Ect she talks to him about her problems with her boyfriend ect