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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Baby stomach sleeping

17 replies

LSB000 · 14/07/2018 16:46

Genuinely not sure if I'm BU and uncompromising like DH says or not so would love people's opinions.
We have a 6 week old baby, who isn't terrible at sleeping at night, but often fights naps during the day. DH says that DS hates sleeping on his back and a couple of times now when I'm not around he's been putting him down on his front which he seems to prefer, waiting for him to go to sleep and then moving him onto his back.
DH knows that I am very against DS being put down on his front. I'm sure he would be fine (as my Mum says, I slept on my front from day 1 and was fine) but with the research and guidelines, I don't see why we would risk even the slightest chance of SIDS. It makes me feel very anxious, but DH says I'm BU and am not compromising with him, and if he puts him down for a nap he's going to put him down on his front, as otherwise he just cries and won't settle.
Do you think I'm being silly and overly cautious, as it's only for the first 5 mins of his nap until he goes to sleep, and it wouldn't be over night?

OP posts:
Fluffyrainbows · 14/07/2018 16:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

daughterofanarchy · 14/07/2018 17:07

My Dc is 19 weeks now and when she was about 6 weeks we would (at DH insistence) settle dc on her tummy (supervised at all times) and then when she was fast asleep we would turn her into her back. But from very early on she would somehow turn to her side, now she falls asleep on her back but ends up on her tummy in the night.

TeaAndNoSympathy · 14/07/2018 17:12

I really wouldn’t. SIDS is soundless and the likelihood is that you wouldn’t notice even if you were in the same room. You will probably get loads of posters saying they let their babies sleep on their tummies and it was all fine. But that doesn’t mean anything really, whereas the data is clear - SIDS rates dropped dramatically after the Back to Sleep campaign. It’s completely expected for a 6 week old to be unsettled for sleep. I’m with you - it’s not worth the risk.

Feb2018mumma · 14/07/2018 17:17

We ended up paying £80... Yes I know it's ridiculous... For a cot mattress you can breathe through, he always rolls to his front in the night and it's safer to have a mattress he can breathe through. Everytime I rolled him to his back he woke up!

Fluffyrainbows · 14/07/2018 20:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Bambamber · 14/07/2018 20:11

If it was just for the first 5 minutes and being closely supervised, I would do the same as long as you had no other risk factors for SIDS

Spam88 · 14/07/2018 20:18

I can totally understand your reasoning and I would probably have been the same as you. But if he's supervised and then turned over then perhaps there isn't really any increased risk. Hmm...not too sure, but ultimately I think if you're not comfortable with it then it should stop.

crispysausagerolls · 14/07/2018 20:21

I find the SIDS statistics frightening and misleading - there is no differentiation in the info between things like tummy sleeping and bedsharing with, say, parents who smoke, parents who drink and parents who fall asleep on the sofa etc where baby slips down. It’s very clumped together and unhelpful. Sometimes I think it’s much more dangerous for example to be so exhausted trying to follow guidelines that you might fall asleep holding baby and baby slips down somehow, than to create a safe sleeping environment that you intentionally put your baby into - eg, in your bed.

As a PP said he is being supervised and it’s no different surely to him rolling over on his own which he will do shortly.

reallybadidea · 14/07/2018 20:23

The Back to sleep campaign bought in numerous changes of which no one can ascertain which bit of info actually bought about the large drop.

I'm sorry, but I don't think that is quite correct. The advice on sleeping prone was first identified as a risk factor through comparing babies who died from SIDS with babies who did not die. This showed a clear association between SIDS and sleeping position.

It is true that a whole raft of recommendations were introduced to reduce the risks, however a number of studies have shown quite clearly that front sleeping is the single biggest factor in minimising risk.

There's an interesting explanation of how the link was established here: www.theguardian.com/society/2016/aug/26/back-to-sleep-sudden-infant-death-syndrome-cot-death-peter-fleming

OP, whilst I think the risk of SIDS in the first 5 minutes of a nap is extremely low, my main concern would be that it could be habit forming (like a dummy) and that before long you'd have a baby who will only tummy sleep. I think these sorts of decisions should be made jointly and you're husband really shouldn't be insisting on anything.

Fluffyrainbows · 14/07/2018 22:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Fluffyrainbows · 14/07/2018 22:11

I've requested my comments be removed. I believe in co-sleeping and natural instincts, and gentle parenting but I'm aware that sometimes this does not follow published information, which is often aimed at targeting groups that are more likely to take risks.
The guidelines from the lullaby trust are here
www.lullabytrust.org.uk/safer-sleep-advice/sleeping-position/
And really that's the information that should be shared on this website as it should protect the most vulnerable in society.

ADuckNamedSplash · 14/07/2018 22:57

Admittedly, I only have experience of my own DD, but I think both you and your DH are unreasonable if you expect a 6 week old to settle to sleep in any position lying in a cot/crib/etc. I thought it was normal for babies to need to be held to fall asleep at that age?

To challenge a PP, it IS different to the baby rolling over on his own, because he's far too young to have developed that skill. It's lower risk for a baby to sleep on their front if they can get into that position themselves, because they can generally get out of it themselves too. A 6 week old most certainly can't.

Regarding the risk involved - suppose the worst did happen. Could you (or rather, your DH) live with yourselves? Or would you forever be wondering if it could be avoided if he hadn't been sleeping on his front?

mrsnubs · 15/07/2018 11:39

Agree with aduck, at 6 weeks your baby will want to be cuddled or fed to sleep. Try reading up on the 4th trimester

LSB000 · 15/07/2018 12:05

Thank you for all your comments and opinions. Just to clarify, when I put him down for a nap I always cuddle him until he's drifted off then put him down, but quite often he will wake up the second I step away. My DH gets frustrated if he does this, which i think is where the putting him on his front came in. Today for the first time we tried swaddling him and it seems like it might work, fingers crossed, so hopefully won't have to argue about the front sleeping issue any more anyway Smile

OP posts:
IJustLostTheGame · 15/07/2018 12:12

I had a tummy sleeper. Dd was an appalling sleeper anyway.
Swaddling did help a little but she wouldnt be put down at all.
I ended up getting a monitor with a mat. I th8nk it was an angel one. I did have to remember to turn it off when I picked her up as the alarm was very loud, especially at 2, 3, 4am etc.
Some babies just like being on their tummies to sleep.

kaytee87 · 15/07/2018 12:14

Some babies probably do prefer sleeping on their fronts. As soon as my son could roll over he chose to sleep on his front.
I believe you can make it safer by buying a special mattress and a breathing sensor mat. Not something I would choose though.

LauraPalmersBodybag · 15/07/2018 13:44

I wouldn’t take the risk OP. He may sleep better on his front, but given what we know about tummy sleeping and the higher instance of SIDS, I’d say it wasn’t worth it. Agree with all PP who say that 6 week olds don’t usually settle to sleep alone anyway, we’re not really wired to that as social animals. Could you try a sling or rocking baby chair for daytime naps? Sleepyhead or similar for nighttime sleeps?

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