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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask what mental illness my sister could have

7 replies

knowledgeablyclueless · 14/07/2018 14:26

My sister's 25. We had a very happy childhood: our parents doted on us and we had endless happy times together.

However I've always had the feeling that something isn't quite right with her. As a child she was very argumentative and sensitive and she still is.

She has done a lot of very questionable things over the years, has had about 12 jobs in the last 7 years as she is either let go or leaves because she doesn't like the people. On a few of these times she's had to move in with me as she had no where else to go (parents live abroad).

She had a breakdown (ended up in hospital) last year while she was in the US visiting her ex - we all said we think it's a bad idea that she go but she went anyway because she had secret hopes they'd reconcile. When they broke up she continued to speak to him every day, didn't take any advice that cutting all contact for a while would be the best thing for her to move on.

She's always had a victim mentality - 90% of the time she thinks it's the other person's fault if something happens and she can't ever let go of the past, whether that be a bad experience she's had or if someone has done something to her.

She's incredibly insecure and will fish for compliments - "Do you think I have a good bum? What would you rate me out of 10? What do you think are my best features?" And so on, and when you give an answer she'll then make you explain it.

She gets annoyed and upset with me if I do something such as Like a person's photo on Instagram if she doesn't like that person, and sees it as me not being loyal to her.

Earlier this week she lied and told her boss she was pregnant because she was worried she was going to be fired.

Last night she made a friend and I describe her in four words. We said we didn't want to play as we knew it would end badly but she insisted. She then took huge offence when I said she can be impulsive sometimes. I shared my reasons, she half agreed and then we drew a line under it. This morning we have had an argument because she brought it up again and kept asking why I thought she is impulsive and to give her specific examples.

I feel like I'm constantly on egg shells around her. One word that she misconstrues and that's it: an argument will happen over why I said XYZ in a certain tone.

She is on anti depressants but won't get therapy (I've offered to pay) and doesn't do any exercise what so ever. She does nothing to help herself but will constantly moan that she's not happy.

Is she just a sensitive person or does it sound like something isn't right? I often start questioning my own sanity around her.

OP posts:
Battleax · 14/07/2018 14:29

It’s a bit dodgy to ask us to guess based on that description.

Could be mental illness.
Could be a personality disorder.
Could be a developmental condition.
Could be nothing diagnosable at all.

Tobuyornot99 · 14/07/2018 14:43

She sounds juvenile and vain, and a bit of a pain. Not diagnosable with anything from ICD-10 though. Is she the baby of the family?

Leostar · 14/07/2018 15:37

Unstable emotional personality disorder. Was called borderline personality disorder until recently.

AnxiousMunchkin · 14/07/2018 15:45

It’s really not appropriate to ask people to armchair diagnose based just on your description of some of her behaviour. You’re innately biased for starters and will never be seeing the full picture of how she’s feeling or what her thought processes are.

She’s on medication and has spent time hospitalised - have you asked her if any of her doctors have suggested particular diagnoses to her? What does she think?

Cornettoninja · 14/07/2018 16:09

I agree any starting point will come from information she chooses to share with you from her hospitalisation.

You should ask, I would frame the question in a supportive way with an emphasis on helping and supporting her.

LovelyBath77 · 14/07/2018 16:31

She's mid twenties. It might just be a stage of growing up

FranticallyPeaceful · 14/07/2018 16:33

She just sounds spoilt

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