to have thought that these things didn’t actually happen in real life until today? (gross warning)

[Astarael]

Out for lunch in naice cafe with my DD.

Took her to the toilet to discover a chunk of human excrement on the floor, obviously fresh as the rest of the facilities were lovely and clean.

Had a panic and thought WWMD (What Would Mumsnet Do). Realised I had alerted everyone to the fact that we were going to the loo as I hadn’t wanted the staff to clear our table while we were in there. Realised that because I had a small child the next users would assume that it was us!!

Decided there was only one course of action. I cleaned it up. (not envy)

So WIBU to have thought that phantom shitters etc were just a Mumsnet myth? And WIBU to have been so terrified that other people might think it was me/DD that I cleaned up someone else’s shit?!

I'm a cleaner. Quite often shitty pants tops and trousers are left in the toilets. Shit on the floor. Shit on the toilet seats. Phantom shitting is a thing.

I worked for an organisation many years ago. In the ladies loo there would sometimes be poo by the side of the toilet not in the toilet pan. We never found out who it was, but wtaf ?

It is very weird that you cleaned it up.

I would have told the staff about it. It wouldn't have occurred to me people would have thought it was me. I think your being a bit paranoid there.

I worked somewhere and in the mens someone wrote on the wall in shit. Shitty pants/tights and socks were also commonly left, sometimes half stuffed in the sanatary bin. Oh and I worked some where and a disgusted employee (female) wiped their bum on a report letter left it in the toilet and then left to never return.

I used to be a cleaner in a hospital. We would find poo on the floor. And one poor cleaner once put her thank god gloved hand into a bin to retrieve and easily empty it of paper towel, only to find a whole turn in the bin!!

Turd obviously! Was a very posh private hospital and the STAFF loo too!!!

I have done something similar OP for the exact same reason. I didn't want anyone to think it was me.

I wonder if the intentional shitting is a condition that no one talks about, cultural or just a dirty bastard. We also had notes put up at work about ten years ago because we had a phantom shitter.

Smearing of menstrual blood, faecal smearing all very much a thing when I was nurse training - in the nurses' accommodation ........

I was in Primark in Peckham, London many years ago and there was a sign in the toilets which read:

'Would customers please refrain from defecating in the changing rooms'

I've never forgotten it.

People have some odd habits in toilets.

Soiled clothing I can get my head around if someone has had an accident, especially given the wide range of illnesses that affect your bowels and bladder, but anything else is just beyond me.

I’ve worked with people with learning difficulties and congenital disorders where it wasn’t uncommon for smearing to be a regular documented behaviour, I belive it’s quite common in mental health units and prisons too. It must be something quite primeval in our nature.

Horrified by this thread! shudder

When my DS (with SN) was little he used to smear .. urgh (thankfully not anymore although he still doesn't get it in the toilet at all times) . When I was a student nurse, there was a man who used to chuck the stuff.. you had to run past his room incase you got hit with it.

There are some right dirty bastards about. The cleaner of my previous employment told me, when she went in to clean the public toilets, and found a pile of shit in one of the cubicles, and it had trailed to the other cubicles, she also found pair of long legged knickers, a vest, and a bra all covered in human excrement. We could only assume, they had used all the toilet paper, in all the cubicles, and had to start on whatever they could get away with, without having to leave completely starkers, but shit free.

I would of probably cleaned it up too. I wouldn't want people to think it was me. But I am a support worker so cleaning up poop isn't a unusual in my job. Once I worked as a hospital and a guide dog left a massive one on the carpet. The man obviously didn't notice and I didn't have the heart to tell him.

Hospital cleaner obvs

I have Crohns. Ive had accidents and had to change. Never once have I left a mess anywhere, you clean yourself up and clean up around you. Any clothing to be disposed of is sealed in a plastic bag. Ime people who have toileting issues are usually the best prepared in terms of spare clothes, wipes, bags, knowing where every disabled toilet in town is.

"Smearing of menstrual blood, faecal smearing all very much a thing when I was nurse training - in the nurses' accommodation"

WTF? Nurses did that?

My current workplace had a phantom shitter. Almost an entire roll of toilet paper down the toilet, poo on top. Toilet entirely blocked. Poo on top of the paper though

Actually I think I’ve identified the culprit as it hasn’t occurred since a certain member of staff left.

It is very common for people living with Dementia to be obsessed about faecal excavation (getting poo out of their bums) and smearing.

I'm a bit of a tidier in public loos too
Pick up spilled paper but I would draw the line at a poo I think

Yuk , I thought dribble on seats was bad enough .
Many trips abroad , and always notice the immaculate loos , return home, airport or ferry and there are the soggy seats again

I understand mess left in or on the toilet - as in I can see how that would happen but can’t get my head around not tidying it up. BUT just an isolated lump on the floor with no other visible mess?!!? Has to be intentional!

And yes I admit I’m paranoid but comforted that others would or have done similar to avoid suspicion.

Those dealing with this sort of thing on a regular basis have my sympathy! In my yoof I was a cleaner in a hotel and remember some interesting ahem personal items being left in beds but have obviously blocked out traumatic toilet memories.