M and D have a Grown up DS who is married with kids. They have been together a long time but since the kids came along in the last few years the relationship between M/D and DS/DIL has broken down. Both parties have acted badly at times and both have crossed lines. DS and his family have now moved far away - about 7 hours drive. M and D have visited twice with no incident but fairly strained and uncomfortable visits. Since the last visit, DS is not responding to any messages or calls. M and D know he is receiving the messges and is still responding to other people. They have been trying to arrange a visit as they want to see Ds and GC but are being ignored. They have sent a couple of texts to DIL who responds and seems normal but have not asked her if they can visit (not sure why). M and D are now saying they are just going to drive down and see them as they are worried about him. I think this will cause issues as some of the arguments were about them not respecting privacy and overstepping boundaries. However it’s just not fair that he is completely ignoring them and I understand their frustration - this has caused a lot of upset.
So wtbu to do this? My gut is yes but I can’t think of a better way of dealing with it other than waiting patiently which is killing them. For background Ds has a history of depression and even when he lived near by he had started to contact them and respond to them less. The issues between them all are between M/D and DIL but over time this has impacted the relationship with Ds. I am part of M and Ds family and am heartbroken by all of this.