To think DP shouldnt hide to scare me at this time

[RantyMare]

I have situational anxiety (not sure this is a technical or diagnosed term but I mean, I am generally fine but when something very stressful happens, even after It's over my nerves get bad, I can't sleep and I need to rest and be kind to myself. I just feel like something dreadful is going to happen all the time!

Anyway I am like this now and have been for a number of weeks. I won't go into why as it isnt relevant but DP is well aware.

I have just come downstairs after trying to nap as I didnt sleep last night and I have work tonight. I couldnt nap because of feelings of dread anyway, but as I came downstairs DP was hiding around a corner and jumped out at me in the hallway. It was like a delayed reaction but I panicked like hell, tears came shortly afterwards it was a huge shock.

AIBU to think if planning something like that and aware the person was feeling out of sorts atm, you'd think 'hm maybe not a good idea tonight!'?

I once nearly pushed my partner down the stairs in a similar situation. It wasn’t even conscious. I was very anxious and he crept up behind me, and before I had time to realise it was him/I was safe, I was shaking him and screaming like a banshee in his face and think I would’ve thrown him down if I hadn’t made myself look and realise it wasn’t an attacker (or the creeping dread actually embodied and after me - I wasn’t in a good place at the time!!)

it depends if you want to be in an adult relationship or not? Sounds cuntish to me.,

It was a silly and thoughtless thing to do, but presumably now you’ve explained ans she’s apologised, she won’t do it again. I would t leave her because of it unless the rest of your relationship is shit.

Surely pranks are things like putting plastic dog turds in someone's bed or dyeing their milk blue, not frightening and upsetting someone. How is that funny unless you are basically a mean person.

If I'd played that joke, and really upset my treasured partner, I would be mortified, profusely apologetic, and never, ever do it again. If someone tries to play it down and make you look like you've over-reacted ( I know she hasn't done this) I'd be taking note of how little they really cared. Sounds like your DP has reacted somewhere in the middle, so jury is still out!
I hope she never does it again, OP.

Ive just set-off to work and she apologized again as I left. I feel a bit better now but it's nice to know that people don't just think I'm being silly. verbena I can easily see myself in that situation!

I can't understand why she'd do such a stupid childish thing. Hope she's realises it wasn't funny and that you gradually get back to normal.

He is aware you are suffering and wanted a bit of fun

And this is a justification?!

That's a shit thing to do full stop
Unless you know the person loves that stuff

I HATE HATE HATE people jumping out at people for any reason at any time. DH knows this, and would NOT do it, let alone if I had anxiety.

Then again, I hate pranks in general.

Hope you get some good rest. Stress is bloody awful

Thank you. I wish I found it funny sometimes but I just don't! I don't like surprises in general anyway.

I think pranks in general lack empathy. Not a fan of people who lack that quality.

My DH used to do things like this. At first I tolerated it, then moved on to telling him to fuck off and finally explained, calmly, that living in a city is so bad for people’s health because of adrenaline.

He was intrigued so I explained that all those little things like a lorry going past, lights flashing on a crossing, random noises etc cause an adrenaline rush, and because we don’t run away or fight the perceived threat off the adrenaline builds up. That can cause a heart attack. And him jumping out on me like a fucking idiot for his own amusement causes an adrenaline rush. And we know where that leads, don’t we?

He doesn’t do it anymore.

I once punched my sister in the face for doing this to me whilst I was suffering ptsd, mid-flashback and she decided to jump out at me, my first instinct was to punch her. She was beyond apologetic and I hope your dp is too!

For those rolling out the usual “I’d leave them” line please get a grip.... If the same person jumps out to scare any daughters/sons I guess we should class that as child abuse!

I have a grip thank you. You might be happy to put up witn crap but I’m not, and I never have been. That stance has always served me well.