WIBU to buy a gift for this baby?

[wellBeehivedWoman]

My cousin and his girlfriend have just had a baby and so I sent them a couple of small gifts and a congratulations card. They texted me a pic of baby wearing one of the presents and a nice thank you. Didn't go on social media or anything. All well and good.

Except that I've just heard from my auntie that my other cousin (brother to cousin 1 whose gf just had baby) and his wife are apparently pissed off because I didn't get them anything when they had their baby 5 years ago.

The difference is, 5 years ago I was a student without two pennies to rub together and I genuinely couldn't have afforded a present. I did send a card, which my mum posted along with a card and gift from her and my father. These days I have a well paid job and actually have spare income to spend - that's the only reason things have changed.

Am I supposed to just never buy presents for any family babies ever again because I didn't get anything for my cousin 5 years ago?! I'm just gobsmacked that cousin 2 would begrudge his brother and brother's gf (who do not themselves have a lot of money) a present because they didn't get one literally half a decade ago!

AIBU to think they're being dicks about this?

Of course yanbu. Your pissed off cousin is, as is his mum for telling you they were pissed off tbh.

They are being dicks. You did a nice thing, you sent a card last time and your financial circumstances have improved. You've done nothing wrong

Yes they are being complete dicks. I guess you could always just tell your auntie why and ask her to explain or explain yourself to them? Save any future hassle but they are BU. They would probably know the reason deep down.

About 10 years ago I spent a lot less on weddings/big birthdays as just couldn't afford it, now I am a lot more generous but it's not because I care any more about the people I am buying for now.

Rhubarb - totally agree, why did she feel the need to tell me? She has form for this tho, she told my mum at my brother's wedding that she has heard a member of the bride's family saying mean things about her in the loos. What's the benefit of sharing that info and tainting my mum's memory of a lovely day?

Thought you were going to say last month NOT 5 BLOODY YEARS AGO.😂😂😂
I can't remember who bought dd a gift. Your cousin sounds mental.

This could easily happen in my family if cousin 2 had made a passing remark about it, maybe just saying ''that's a nice gift, wish she had got one for us too'' Aunty (who likes stirring things up / creating drama) then interprets that as being pissed off...

Are you sure cousin 2 is pissed off? I bet the worst thing he's done was saying something like "oh, lovely gift from Beehived, I wish she'd given something like this to our baby, looks amazing". And the rest is your auntie's love of drama.

Could well be drama - tho cousin 2's wife is also a bit of a drama llama so hard to say for sure where it came from...

They are unreasonable and she’s a shit stirrer.

How can Cuz 2 even remember?!

Barking as is auntie slavering over the prospect of a bit of a drama. Don't buy into it.

Text you cousin and explain. They should be mortified.

'Heard you were upset that I apparently didn't get your baby a present 5 years ago. You might remember I was a student 5 years ago and had no money to spend on extras. I do recall being very happy for you and sending you a card to show that. I am very sad you feel the need to hold that against me now'.