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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be this cautious of my neighbours?

64 replies

magnificentblue · 13/07/2018 12:36

NC for this because they’d definitely be able to tell it’s me.

I live in the middle of a little row of terraced houses. It is a quiet area and we never get any kind of trouble. My neighbours to the right of me (a couple) appear to be excessively security conscious. They have a German Shepard guard dog that barks at the tiniest sounds or movement in the day and at night (for probably about 50% of the time constantly) and it’s very aggressive. They have two CCTV cameras on the front pointing in the same direction as each other (neither at their door, never understood this) which I’m pretty sure cover some if not all of my front garden. We have a shared wide driveway and access to the back of the houses sort of going round from one end of the terrace. It’s so hard to explain the layout but most of us use it daily either in a car or on foot. They have a very inconspicuous tiny camera facing away from their house on their boundary wall of the shared driveway at the back. It covers the driveway and not any of their garden, gate or house. As far as I’m aware this is highly illegal as you cannot have CCTV that doesn’t cover your property. They do not have any signs stating they have CCTV and the one at the back is so hidden it would be hard for most people to notice. It’s also really close to me when I walk past so they would have a very clear close up image of everyone.

It makes me feel sick that I can’t have a private life. They know when I leave and exit my house, who is in it and when, even down to what supermarket I go to if they pay that much attention. I can’t even put the bin out without knowing they’re probably watching me. I have to cover my toddler with a blanket whenever passing the cameras because I don’t know who or what they might be. I don’t want someone to have images of my child. It’s got to the point where I don’t leave the house unless I really need to it’s awful. They are nosy busybodies and are at home all day every day. I can’t use my back garden because every time I go out there the wife watches me from their open bathroom window. They’re just so creepy I hate to imagine how many of us they watch and what is done with the footage.

Now some may think I’m being a bit over the top but they have exhibited very hostile and downright bizarre behaviour the whole time I’ve been here. I think it’s because I’m young (25). They’ve done stuff like cut down all the trees and kill the flowers in both my front and back garden when I was on holiday. They always stare me down until I leave their sight and give me horrific looks as if I killed their entire family. I have ironically never spoken to them apart from the generic first ‘you alright’ when moving in.

I have an email drafted to the correct authorities about the cameras. It’s gone past the point of being able to speak to them about it first. I just want the camera over the shared driveway to be removed so I can at least exit out my house one way and not been seen. Why can’t people just have respect for others privacy I’m so stressed and it’s not good for my little girlSad

OP posts:
Gromance02 · 13/07/2018 15:31

You aren't allowed to point CCTV at the road. The law is: 'Pointing a security camera at the pavement, road, or neighbour's property could put you in breach of the Data Protection Act'.

magnificentblue · 13/07/2018 15:44

I’ve got a few houses lined up to view but got to stick it out for 2 months notice. Thank you so much for the supportive messages. It was a traumatic experience heightened by their behaviour and it’s made me hypersensitive to everything since. Best thing is to get away.

The data protection and privacy laws really need to be clearer to the public. There’s quite a lot of conflicting views about cameras pointing at public highways. I do see a fair few from time to time but most people I know have them pointing directly down at their doors or gates not covering anything beyond their fences/walls. It’s much more effective in the case of a break in as you’ll be able to identify more clearly close up

OP posts:
DuckbilledSplatterPuff · 13/07/2018 15:47

Blibesia: Given the poster's anxiety and distress your comment is VERY unhelpful and downright unkind.

I hope you do find somewhere else to live OP, as they sound like horrible people and difficult to change. Have you tried getting advice from a solicitor for the reminding time you are there.
Wishing you and your little one a good resolution.

InspectorIkmen · 13/07/2018 15:48

This is such a specific and identifiable scenario that I'm unsure what security you think your 'NC' will provide. Most odd.

Hissy · 13/07/2018 16:01

I guess she needs a bit of solidarity and a sense check.

It is best to just go love, you are doing the right thing.

What worried me most was your feeling that you could not go out. I know what that does to you. Fighting agoraphobia is excruciating, and moving will help you prevent going down that slippery slope.

Keep posting for as long as you need to. You can always ask for a thread to be deleted if you think your identity has been compromised

Emmasmum2013 · 13/07/2018 17:38

@InspectorIkmen
People generally name change because they don't want people to identify them from this one thread and then go poking around in their post history. Maybe OP has got some info she'd rather remain anonymous in older posts.

Bibesia · 13/07/2018 18:01

Duckbilled: no, it wasn't. And you're not the thread police.

DiabolicalMess · 13/07/2018 18:12

Our cctv covers our driveway and some of the bottom of our cul-de-sac. Twice we have happily provided footage to neighbours who have had their cars broken in to in a recent spate of car crime in our area.

VocalDuck · 13/07/2018 19:20

It could be they are scared. Perhaps they were victims of or reported a crime and fear repercussions.

FASH84 · 13/07/2018 19:29

And also people that have access to CCTV in businesses are usually always hopefully DBS checked and wouldn’t be doing anything untoward with footage of children.

😂😂😂😂
So every person who works in a shop, pub or a petrol garage for example is DBS checked?? This is your issue, is be glad for the extra security should someone try and break in. Also they killed all of your flowers while you were away? Doesn't have a ring of truth tbh maybe they died because you were away and no one watered them...

Rapunzel15 · 13/07/2018 20:41

I dont think youre overreacting at all in your situation. I think you need to move as soon as you can then i can thoroughly suggest posting them some dog shit for being such hideous people

ArntNise · 13/07/2018 22:46

They said I asked them to do it for me whilst I went away. They just did it to be spiteful and take the wood from the trees for their log burner. They left me with all the leafy bits. Now my garden looks awful and dead it’s going to take years to get it back to how it was...

Did you tell your landlord what they did? Your landlord might think you have done it an charge you when you do want to leave...

wowfudge · 13/07/2018 23:01

This sounds awful OP. If you want to enjoy your garden whilst the weather's good, good you buy a sun umbrella and stand for the garden? With that up, they won't be able to watch you from their windows. Take it inside when you're not out there.

watchmefly · 14/07/2018 01:04

I have lived next to horrible, physically intimidating and aggressive neighbours; though fortunately I've not been subjected to DV whilst others sat and laughed. So sorry to hear that OP. I know what it's like to not be believed, particularly by those who have been lucky enough never to have found themselves in that kind of situation.

For a long time I also had a strong sense of 'why should I be driven out of my own home'? But in the end, my sanity and physical safety were worth more than my pride. I sold up, moved out and on and it's been the best thing I could ever have done.

Try not to think about what the neighbours might or might not be doing or why, easier said than done I know, because it will eat you up from the inside. Try not to give them the headspace. In the end, it won't really matter what they're up to because you are very shortly going to be moving to a lovely new home where you can be happy with your little one.

Hang in there and all the very best to you.

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