Ainu to ask for help writing an email of complaint ...

[Beerincomechampagnetastes]

Posting here for traffic,

I had a terrible experience yesterday and am hoping you can help me formulate an appropriate email of complaint.
We recently paid a substantial amount of money for a new home from a large well known builder.
We’ve been very happy with the staff and the site manager up until now. We’ve been experiencing problems with the kitchen which is outsourced by the home builders to another well known firm.
Yesterday the kitchen man arrived to check over what needed to be done in our kitchen.
This is where the problem occurred.
It was 10 am, I was home alone.
I welcomed him in shook his hand and took him into the kitchen.
He immediately launched into all the reasons he wouldn’t be able to ‘fix’ it and it wasn’t his responsibility.
I’m not sure why and I’m normally very pulled together but I began to cry.
On reflection his mannerisms from the get go were combative. He was very arrogant and intimidating towards me.
He told me “ You had better pull yourself together or i’ll Walk”.
I was so shocked I didn’t know what to do.
Then he said “ I don’t have to take this abuse”.
I replied “abuse?? Does me crying translate as abusive towards you?”.
It was awful. I’ve spent my whole career working with abused adults and children and to be called abusive totally ticked me to my foundations.
This exchange happened in about a 2 minute time period.
I asked him to leave and he had the nerve to look shocked.
Throughout the whole exchange he treated me with complete contempt. I felt very intimidated by him and I suspect this is a tactic he may use regularly to get out of jobs that aren’t valuable to him.
I want to put in an official complaint but I’m unsure what exactly I should say?
Wwyd?

Thanks for reading

Dear Kitchen Company MD,

I am writing to you to complain about the attitude of your representative, Mr Shitweasel who came to my home yesterday.

I bought my home from X Homebuilders, and have been having problems with the kitchen, which was installed by yourselves, so I requested a site visit from your representative.

From the start, Mr Shitweasel's attitude was poor - I was at home alone when he arrived, and he immediately began to tell me, in a somewhat aggressive fashion, why the issues with the kitchen were not his problem and he wouldn't be able to fix them.

His attitude upset me, and made me cry, whereupon he threatened to leave unless I 'pulled myself together', and accused ME of being abusive.

His attitude throughout was unpleasant, combative and contemptuous, and I had no choice but to ask him to leave. I hope that you do not condone this sort of behaviour by your representatives, and that you will require him to apologise to me for his behaviour.

Going forward, I still have problems with my kitchen, and these will need to be assessed and fixed at the earliest available opportunity, and I would like to know how you intend to ensure that this happens with no further complications or unpleasantness for me.

I am copying this email to the builders so they are aware of the way in which your representative treated me, and will be requesting that they attend any further meetings between myself and your company, and that they ensure that my kitchen problems are sorted out.

Yours sincerely,
Beerincomechampagnetastes.

It is worth remembering that your contract is with the builders, so it is they who are responsible for making sure any snags are dealt with (kitchen or other issues), and you have every right to insist that the builders deal with all the snagging, as this should be a condition of their NHBC certification.

The NHBC has a website, and it would not be difficult to find the relevant bits of the code to quote at them, if necessary.

Thanks for your reply sdt

I’m feeling quite defensive atm. I didn’t write the email yesterday because I felt to upset and I figured I should allow myself time to reflect.
I’m very disappointed in myself that I cried and am angry that he succeeded in intimidating me in my own home. I just wasn’t expecting it iyswim.

I did report it to the sales office yesterday and apparently the offending man had told them that I was upset because I said I thought nobody was going to fix my kitchen. So he has already lied to deflect from his own behaviour and I’m prepared for him to label me as ‘hysterical’ as a defence.

Hi
I think the proposed email above is good.

It clearly says what was wrong and what you would like to be done to fix it.

I would probably give more details about their representative’s behaviour- so that any feedback to this person will hopefully prevent someone else being treated the same way.

I would also take out the words like ‘somewhat ‘ they make it easier for the builders company to argue your perception was not the builders intention.

Good luck xxxx

That’s another reason why you have to be specific- the more examples of his intimidation the harder it is for him to deny it all.

Dear Wellknown Builder,
As you know, we are in the final stages of purchasing a new-build house from you.
Up until now, we have been completely happy with the staff and site manager, but I feel you should be aware that your good reputation may be affected by the actions and attitude of one of your sub contractors.
The representative of this firm displayed a very negative attitude to the task in hand, and addressed me in an unpleasant, brusque manner. I can give fuller details upon request; suffice it to say that I was distressed by the encounter.
Our substantial payments to your business have, up until this very unfortunate event, been money well spent, worthy of positive feedback to other prospective clients, and I am sure you value your good reputation as being well-earned.
I feel it only fair to draw my distress and disappointment to your attention, before your business suffers further reputational damage by association.
The sub contractor is...............................and I would imagine that any reputable employer would be horrified to learn of what one of their workers has said and done; I am confident that you will communicate your concerns to this subcontracting firm, who will also appreciate the commercial value of keeping ones good name for customer service.
I look forward with interest to your reply
Yours sincerely etc

Hi sorry to read you've been treated so badly
Just one clarification
Did you outsource the kitchen or the house builder subcontract to a kitchen company ?
If it's the latter it's up to the house building company to deal with them ... avoiding all unpleasantness for yourselves
Hope you get it sorted

Thanks again for your replies

Yes, the builders have subcontracted the kitchens. So yes it is their issue to deal with so to speak.

Dear God, that's dreadful. So sorry, Beer 💐

I think STDs suggested letter is spot in. Personally I wouldn't ask or want an apology from the nasty git but that's up to you. Other than that I think it's polite and keeps to the facts.

Please don't worry about the crying. Some of us cry and others don't. I used to work in a job where I'd regularly find myself in really tricky unpleasant situations where I was impressed with my own professionalism and ability to stay composed 😆. However, I've found if I find myself in an unpleasant situation out of work I can find myself getting tearful. It's SO annoying. 😕😕

BTW. Sorry STD but I forgot to say that I hate, hate , hate the phrase 'going forward'.

😅😅😅

I apologise most humbly, @CrystalChronicles.

Sorry you have had this experience.

I would use @twoshedsjackson 's template. I like tbe idea of putting yourself side by side to the builder, confident that they would want to be aware of this behaviour..

All the best

What an absolute knob jockey. These idiots want to blame everyone else. I hope you feel better soon.

No advice letter, good on you for taking action.

Thanks, FinallyHere. I'm a believer in keeping ammo in reserve, ie the details of the workman's dreadful behaviour, useful if follow up is needed. The fact that he has already given "his side of the story" leads me to suspect that he has "form" for this kind of thing and was getting his version in first. For all you know, there have been previous complaints, which they wouldn't tell you about as a matter of business confidentiality.
A gracious tone would also leave open the opportunity of being "persuaded" to accept some compensation as a gesture of goodwill towards a good customer.
I once had occasion to complain about a sub-contractor, and referred back to the boss. He was taken off the job and brought round to apologize. You may not wish to see him again, but I went into icy calm battleaxe mode and felt better for it. He sort of quailed beneath my gaze......The builder said later how glad he was I wasn't telling him off, and I like to think I saved some meeker person from disrespectful treatment.

This is exactly my problem....

He was so bold it was shocking and outrageous so I think he has form. I wonder how many people he’s intimidated into just accepting a faulty job?

It’s also the male privilege- coming into MY home , filling up the doorway with his 6ft large frame and speaking to me with obvious contempt.

I am so fucking sick of being pushed around by these kind of men. But at the same time I’m so angry with myself for behaving in a ‘weak’ way. I’m usually so calm and in control and he triggered me.

My dh said that on the contrary, regardless of the crying I dealt with him, told him to leave and sent him in a spin. So I don’t think he’s used to that but why should I have do that?

Why be such a bully just because he can???