Agressive coworker

[Whattodonow1234]

I have been working with this person for the last 2 years or so. She has always had agressive outbursts and two of my colleagues quit due to her behaviour and not being supported by management last year.

She has had a lot of time off sick and has been put on pills for depression recently.
Sometimes everything is fine and she will join in conversation other days she will literally snap your head off with agressive behaviour. There is no way to tell what you are going to get. Its like walking around on eggshells each day.

Anyway had a discussion with employers and was basically told that i have to understand that she is really ill with depression and that will just have to accept the agressive outbursts.

I dont feel that this acceptable and feel that aggression towards other coworkers should not be tolerated whether ill or not.

AIBU?
Forgot to mention she was a friend of my boss before she was employed.

No, you don't not have to tolerate being spoken to aggressively in work. Go to HR or above boss' head.

The problem is, OP, your work is in an invidious position. Your co-worker has depression which your work have obviously categorised as a disability (and probably correctly). If they take action against her, their concern will be a disability discrimination claim (which if successful would be very expensive). So they have a choice; upset the potential bomb in the corner or upset you. It’s not hard to see which they’d choose.

Having said that, you are of course correct, you shouldn’t have to put up with her behaviour. Go and see HR.

Thanks for your replies... problem is we are a really small company and there is no HR dept. Guess that leaves me the choice of putting up with it or leaving 😔

Or try to understand and adapt the way you handle her.

Obviously if it is violent or abusive then you have a case but if you just think she is snappy, don't like her tone or the fact that she is friends with the boss then there is not much else you can do.

O lord. Is she menopausal? It can make you a bit mad. I used to work with someone like your colleague. I swore I would never be like that. Roll on ten years and yes, me the loon. Snappy emotional unbalanced . . . Thank god for hrt which restored my equable nature. Good luck

I'd call her out on it if they're not prepared to.

Perhaps
'Would you kindly not speak to me like that, you're being aggressive and it's unacceptable'

'I realise you're unwell but it's no excuse for being rude and aggressive '

Yes perhaps her mood is unstable but it's not as if she's unable to control herself to a certain extent