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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Why take him???

21 replies

Tallula386 · 13/07/2018 07:42

Mum's fury as Build A Bear employee 'tells disabled son to return to huge queue' despite 'autistic meltdown' - Mirror Online - www.mirror.co.uk

Why did these parents decide to take their son into a potentially stressful situation??
They should know their child well enough to know his triggers.

One of my children has autism and I know what to avoid and what he can cope with.

This is not the job of the store staff (who may have no experience with disabilities) to make the lives of the parents easier once they had put hem selves in that position!

OP posts:

sonlypuppyfat · 13/07/2018 07:44

I know absolutely crazy. It also amazes me how they expect shop staff on minimum wage to know how to deal with all situations

Original poster

Tallula386 · 13/07/2018 07:47

How do parents not know their child better- disabilities or not!

This was most definitely more stressful for the poor little boy than anyone.

OP posts:

Glumglowworm · 13/07/2018 07:50

The person to blame here is the parents who decided to take their autistic child into a situation they knew was likely to cause a meltdown. It’s a fucking cheap toy! It’s not a necessity or worth it overall like a holiday might be.

RunMummyRun68 · 13/07/2018 07:51

I'm shocked at the parents....all parents

Keeping their children in that queue for hours? What's so special about these bears anyway?

henpeckedinchief · 13/07/2018 07:52

I'm astonished that so many parents put themselves and their kids through hours of queuing like that for the sake of saving a few quid on a bear. It couldn't possibly have been worth it!

PitterPatterOfBigFeet · 13/07/2018 07:56

YANBU. I can't believe anyone would wait 6 hours for a bear let alone with a poor stressed out autistic child. It would be easier to deliver leaflets for 6 hours then pay full price for the bloody bear!

OhTheTastyNuts · 13/07/2018 07:57

My sons are both saving up for a build a bear singing jigglypuff (pokemon). Yesterday would have been a fab opportunity to get it for £5 and £8 rather than £21. I thought I would take them after school/work as a treat.

I obviously didn't bother as I read about all the queues and fuss! I hadn't mentioned it to them so they weren't disappointed.

But they would have loved it! Being allowed an otherwise over-priced toy. Staying up late to go shopping. The novelty of paying their age!

So I can see why people wanted to go. But I would never have kept my sons off school or queued for 8 hours or got into a fight!!

MyBreadIsEggy · 13/07/2018 07:59

Entitlement at its worst.

My kids don’t have additional needs and would still have had a meltdown out of sheer boredom in those ridiculous queues.
Why would you even attempt it with your child if you know they have additional needs and they might not cope in the situation?!

EmUntitled · 13/07/2018 07:59

Someone (possibly the same person) commented on Facebook that they went with their autistic child and tried to skip the queue and go straight in because her child couldn't wait in a queue. Was then shocked and appalled that she was told the join the queue and that there were "no exceptions".

Some people are so entitled it's laughable.

Original poster

Tallula386 · 13/07/2018 08:02

I’m glad you all agree and I’m making sense.
The shop and staff are now being slated in the press. They had never promised to make extra allowances for children with extra needs or advertise that their staff are able to deal with these situations.
If they had, I’m sure all the other parents (who had decided that waiting in a queue with small children, was far more exciting than the park, swimming, Soft Play or family time) would have kicked up a fuss for someone receiving special treatment!

Build a Bear made a marketing decision, only to build revenue and business and should hold not be held responsible for irresponsible parenting!

OP posts:

RunMummyRun68 · 13/07/2018 08:03

She said in the article he would've been happy with any near..... think the build a bear was for her sake rather than the sons!!

EmUntitled · 13/07/2018 08:03

From the article
“Why should my son be treated any differently to the normal everyday child?”

You mean like getting to skip the queue... no "normal everyday child" got to do this.

AsAProfessionalFekko · 13/07/2018 08:04

I dont know why they didn't do a 'draw' before the day for the opportunity to win a ticket for your slot to get the toy at the special price.

Anyone could have told them that this promo would be a nightmarw for staff, kids and parents.

TistyTosty · 13/07/2018 08:08

Madness!!!! I have a child with autism, there is no way on earth I would have considered putting him through that experience.

Original poster

Tallula386 · 13/07/2018 08:18

Also, seems very easy these days for parents to use the ‘Special Needs’ card when dealing with staff at shops/ play venues/ etc etc. (I am a SN mum so no hate), full well knowing that 99% of the time they will not be challenged for fear of offence. They are often then given special treatment or offers that they may not actually need that could be reserved for people more in need.

It often seems that people who really require special treatment, do not ask.

OP posts:

GlitterGlue · 13/07/2018 08:23

I believe there were at least two adults present? Why didn’t they take turns at queuing whilst the other adult took the children elsewhere? Although I don’t suppose inside build a bear was a calm and tranquil environment yesterday so maybe that wouldn’t have been a perfect solution, but still better than forcing small children to queue for hours.

OliviaStabler · 13/07/2018 08:27

This story has been twisted. The family simply tried to use the child disabilities to skip the queue and are fuming that they were told no.

Mummyoflittledragon · 13/07/2018 08:29

]]www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/mums-fury-build-bear-employee-12908281 link]]

Why should my son be treated any differently to the normal everyday child?

But that’s exactly what she was asking for. Special treatment as her ds has special / additional needs. I find this comment very ironic

Sorry but I don’t think children with additional needs should be treated differently in these circumstances. Parents including them should have had the common sense to walk away.

Mummyoflittledragon · 13/07/2018 08:30

Oops try again. Link

MidniteScribbler · 13/07/2018 08:38

There were two adults, why didn't one just wait in the queue then call the other person when they were getting close to the front? Or would that be too much like common sense?

AsAProfessionalFekko · 13/07/2018 08:52

Some parents - no matter which child - will want to do something that isn't suitable for the child but just really really want to do it so haul the child along regardless.

Now I know it parents are people too and can't just stay at home, but when they are doing it for the benefit 'of the child'...

Taking young children to the cinema (not a child friendly one) when they can't sit still for 10 mins let alone 1.5hrs.
Booking a 7 year old on a 11-14 agree range activity or class (when they aren't advanced and can't keep up/get bored /fall asleep.
taking a young child to a museum or gallery where they are really bored witless and really want to go to the transport museum and not look at galleries of Turners.

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