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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think that taking part in a charity fundraiser doesn't excuse this behaviour...

29 replies

ChipTheTeaCup · 12/07/2018 23:27

These posts have come up on my Facebook timeline. The guy who posted it work with Z list celebs on close protection and other security work. I'm not sure what his role is here.

This is a group raising money for an air ambulance charity. I'm unsure if they are members of the air ambulance or just fundraising.

I believe the person holding the paper is a waitress. She must have been so self conscious and I think this is possibly sexual harassment?

Would it be mean spirited to report it, as they are a bunch of lads letting off steam. But does that become and issue of excusing someone because if charity work (Jimmy Saville being at the end of that scale!).

To think that taking part in a charity fundraiser doesn't excuse this behaviour...
To think that taking part in a charity fundraiser doesn't excuse this behaviour...
OP posts:
saltandvinegarcrisps1 · 12/07/2018 23:31

It looks like a bloke that's holding it up,???

Original poster
ChipTheTeaCup · 12/07/2018 23:31

The comment below the picture from the same person that has posted it...

To think that taking part in a charity fundraiser doesn't excuse this behaviour...
OP posts:
crazycatgal · 12/07/2018 23:32

They've acted like immature dicks but who would you report it to?

Original poster
ChipTheTeaCup · 12/07/2018 23:32

@saltandvinegarcrisps1 not in the unedited version, it's a female. The original poster has also referred to her as a girl (but you commented before I'd added that).

OP posts:
saltandvinegarcrisps1 · 12/07/2018 23:33

Ah ok. It's all a bit sad - like something a 12 year old might do. And putting it on FB - grim.

Original poster
ChipTheTeaCup · 12/07/2018 23:34

@crazycatgal

The charity they are representing. His employers given that he works in securoty & protection and should be more clued up on sexism?

OP posts:
Lichtie · 12/07/2018 23:36

Sexual harassment? It's a typical schoolboy drawing of a penis, what is harassment about that?

Original poster
ChipTheTeaCup · 12/07/2018 23:42

@Lichtie

Humiliating a person of the opposite sex by abusing your power in the situation (her being the waitress and having to behave professionally) by forcing them to unknowingly (or perhaps knowingly but please refer to my previous brackets) hold a picture of a penis for her to carry out her job. And then taking a picture of her, again it looks like she did not consent to this, and sharing it online.

All the editing of identities has been done by me.

OP posts:
Lichtie · 12/07/2018 23:47

Jeezo OP, calm down.
Would you be humiliated by that? Why do you assume this girl was? It's a giant leap to get to sexual harassment from that imo.

OlennasWimple · 12/07/2018 23:50

Taking part in a charity fundraiser should require better behaviour, not excuse misogyny

dontbesillyhenry · 12/07/2018 23:57

Litchie May I ask why you are so keen to excuse this?

ElementalHalfLife · 13/07/2018 00:06

Damn right its humiliating. WTF is wrong with you Lichtie? That woman is trying to do her job and is being made the unwitting butt of a joke by a bunch of dick customers and having her picture posted all over social media so a bunch of online dicks can also laugh at her. No one deserves that in the workplace. Yes OP, report it to the charity they represent - name and shame the bullying twats.

KokoandAllBall · 13/07/2018 00:09

Would it be mean spirited to report it, as they are a bunch of lads letting off steam.

"A bunch of lads letting off steam" Hmm

Now I've finished throwing up in my mouth, please do report it. They won't get fired, but hopefully they'll get their own awkward moment.

ElementalHalfLife · 13/07/2018 00:19

Oh I missed the "letting off steam" line - when are we gonna stop minimising and excusing this kind of twattish behaviour on the boys will be boys grounds? No. Just bloody stop it. NO.

user1473878824 · 13/07/2018 00:25

It’s immature but would you really have been ‘humiliated’ by this? I assume most people when noticing would roll their eyes and not think of it again. Also it looks pretty set up, when was the last time you held a piece of A4 up right in front of your face to read it? Everyone is on a very high horse on here. Of course it isn’t sexual harassment it’s just stupid.

Prestonsflowers · 13/07/2018 00:27

IMO it is sexual harassment and bullying
The comments make it clear that their intention is to humiliate the waitress

Shootfirstaskquestionslater · 13/07/2018 00:34
Hmm
MsFrizzle · 13/07/2018 00:37

I have severe social anxiety and I'd be extremely humiliated by this, especially having my face spread over Facebook without my permission - assuming the censoring is yours and not theirs.

Please report it.

LighthouseSouth · 13/07/2018 00:48

Report it op.

TakeMeToKernow · 13/07/2018 00:57

The FB post by BR or anything to do with motorbikes? But yeah, as someone said - totally grim.

ScarlettSahara · 13/07/2018 01:16

I would report it yes. A group of men mocking a young girl, admitting she is confused as to why they are laughing “at” her & using a sexual image to do it. It is harassment & they should be called on it.
As pp said they are not 12. Would the charity feel happy being represented in this way?

ElementalHalfLife · 13/07/2018 01:23

Again, would I have been humiliated? Yes, when I was waitressing or bartending back in my uni days and was often the target of lads 'banter' and stupid practical jokes like this and worse and too timid or afraid of losing my job to protest or complain so I'd play along with a forced smile before escaping to the back upset and ashamed.

I remember one bunch of rugby club louts thinking it funny to run around the student union bar with a full bucket of water when the TISWAS song was popular and one of them yelling "what do you say? See through blouse, boys?" just as I was passing collecting glasses. Yep the full bucket all over me. I was persuaded not to complain to the union on the grounds I'd be thought a humourless bitch, they were just letting off steam, having a laugh. And to my eternal shame I let it go.

Well, I got harder and less compliant with age and these days it's zero tolerance. ZERO tolerance. It wasn't fucking acceptable then and it's a million times more not fucking acceptable in 2018. They can't claim just a laugh any more, they can't be unaware that things have changed and social media works two fucking ways and twats like these can be exposed to public humiliation too. Thanking my stars that at least I didn't have my humiliations broadcast all over Facebook and You Tube.

ScarlettSahara · 13/07/2018 01:23

I take user’s point about the paper being held very close /looking slightly odd but even if this is staged it is being used to portray the behaviour as acceptable & to me it is not.

ScarlettSahara · 13/07/2018 01:32

Flowers elemental - don’t beat yourself up about feeling unable to complain at the time - I found it harder when I was younger too & suffered harassment from 2 consultants as a medical student & 3 further incidents as a doctor from other male doctors - it would not happen now because I would firmly put them in their place & report them.

WellThisIsShit · 13/07/2018 01:51

Do you know the charity? I’d link to the charity’s social media page / social media inbox and head it ‘great to know what your brand ambassadors are doing in your name. A little sexual harassment with your money raising ok?’

Or something like that... no charity these days will tyour brand values so well

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