to feel stuck in the middle of DP and his ex?

[NoneForYou]

Me:

• 6 months pregnant
• DP of 3 years who has a 7 year old DD

DP:

• he does NOT get in with his ex, they argue and bicker over text. He tells me about it all the time. She's done this and she's done that. She's putting nonsense in to DDs head etc

DD:

• totally oblivious. At least they are good at sheltering her from this

AIBU to just not want to hear it anymore? It's been years. They don't get on. They never will. I'm done caring. More energy goes in to hating her than caring about me.

WIBU to tell him I just don't want to know anymore or would I then be classed as an uncaring partner?

I CAN'T COPE WITH THIS ANYMORE! I've shed tears tonight over how much I have to hear about how much of a bitch his ex is. Why can't some adults just bang their heads together and do what's best for their child?

Sorry if I haven't given enough details for you to give a constructive answer I'm just in a state and could do with going just one week without hearing about how much he hates his ex.

He doesn’t care

Why should you put the hard yards in?

Tell him. He obviously cares more about hating her than being with you. Either he gets real professional help to move on. Or he moves out.

Aawww Sweetheart you need to try to shut them both out and think about your own health and your baby's health.... please try to take it easy

@Furx he's moved on from her in the sense that he no longer wants to be with her. The issue is that she is unhappy he has a court order to see his daughter certain days and she wants to mess with that. I've just heard it for so long that I'm not really feeling sorry for him anymore and just resenting him for having to hear about it.

@Gemini69 genuinely considering going on holiday by myself for a week...

Anyone else been in this position?

WIBU to tell him I just don't want to know anymore or would I then be classed as an uncaring partner?

No you aren't an uncaring partner, you've been a sounding board for too long and past the point where its healthy.

Get some space and have a think about the future. What you could do is move out and split for 6 months until the situation is sorted, and then see if anything has changed.

@UpstartCrow it's just not that easy. I'm 6 months pregnant. We own a house together. We own a car together. I'm due to start maternity leave in 2 months. I have no family around here and know deep down that I don't want to leave him and even if I did I wouldn't cope right now. I guess I just need some advice on how to handle this and whether it would be a reasonable thing to ask him to just not talk about it in front of me?

I worry it makes me feel like I don't care about his daughter. I really do, it's just totally out of my control and I don't know what else I can do to help. I've had enough of hearing her name.

Its very worrying that you dont know its ok to do that.
Are you worried about his reaction? His behaviour isn't appropriate, especially considering how heavily pregnant you are.

@UpstartCrow I don't know what's right or wrong anymore. This battle with his ex is so dominant in his life that it has become normal.

His reaction towards me will be fine, he'd never been hostile or angry towards me unnecessarily.

I think I'm just tired.

I think a break from everything would do you good

He hasn’t moved on in the sense that she is dominating his everyday life. It’s not healthy and it isn’t your fault.

Worded that badly. Not so much that she is dominating, more HE is allowing it into his head, in a way that harms you.