I dont want to sponsor you!!

[FishingIsNotASport]

Right, I understand that raising money for charity is a good thing (if it's a charity that actually uses the money for the cause it purports to support rather than high salaries, extravagant premises etc.), but AIBU to say I only sponsor close family/friends?

I meet up with a group most weeks for a shared activity. A couple of weeks ago a new woman joined us. She was friendly enough but overbearing and dominated the whole group, although she didn't know any of us. I mentioned, just while chatting about plans for the weekend, that I was participating in a sponsored event. It didn't even cross my mind to ask for sponsorship - these people are not friends who I see socially, just acquaintances I see for this activity and I would have felt very uncomfortable asking them to donate when money is tight for most people. So anyway, the day after this woman joined the group we all get a message requesting sponsorship for a walk she's doing and a link to her 'Just Giving' page. I thought it was a bit cheeky as she's a stranger (also not a charity I would support - too political), but thought "can't blame her for asking" and ignored it. Couple of days later, she messaged us all again, I ignored it again. Couple of days later another message and link - I clicked the link just to see who, if anyone, from the group had donated - nobody had and her donations stood at £20 (kind of strange given she talks non-stop about all her friends and groups she's in). We met up again this week and she was as over-bearing as before but didn't mention it. Next day we all got a message from the group organiser saying how great it was that 'Deb' is doing this walk and it would be lovely if we could all support her - and the bloody link again. Enough!! AIBU to say; ask once - fair enough, ask twice - cheeky, ask thrice - bugger off, ask 4 times - please just f off!

I would politely tell her you have your own charities which have some meaning to you and they come first then tell her good luck.....

‘Thanks for the link. I donate to my chosen charities and won’t be sponsoring ‘Deb’ this time.’

I’d want to say ‘fuck off’ too, though.

Next time she asks just wish her luck but you already support charities that are close to your heart so can’t give any more to her. I had to say this to someone once who was constantly doing sponsored events to the point I felt I was subsidising her leisure activities (was always things like sponsored sky dives etc)

You could say that you already made a private donation to the charity that you don’t wish to disclose, I love giving to charity and helping others I just hate when people are pushy and do it so show other people that they are amazing rather than doing it for the right reasons

Yanbu - it’s tiring to keep getting requests for money. I’m with you - ask once and accept people’s stance gracefully.

I’m imagining she’s the type who does this sponsorship stuff regularly which would explain the fairly low amount she’s raised.

It’s never a popular viewpoint to air because there always seems to be someone who knows better than you what to spend your money on

Oh interesting I have been in this same situation and I was taken back by it and refused to sponsor.

I am a great fan of sponsoring people and I do it regularly. However I find it rude when people constantly ask for sponsorships.

I must admit since not sponsoring the person they have been distend but that's a reflection on them not me.

I'd decline on the basis that going for a bloody walk is not a sponsorship-worthy event
Unless you're going to do a massive dripfeed that she has made a miraculous recovery from a horrible accident

Call me a grumpy cow but I fail to "get" sponsorship at all - I give regularly to various charities I wish to support but unless people were asking for sponsorship because they were knitting blankets for refugees / premature babies / other charitable cause and needed the money to buy the wool, I can not see the point.... especially not of walking. If they want to raise money they could offer to wash my car / mow my lawn / babysit my kids in exchange for a charity donation...... that I would support.

Overbearing and pushy, especially as she has only jsut met you all.

Definantly text back with one of the phrases above.

If you relent this time, then she’ll expect you to donate every time she does a charity walk/parachute jump/round-the-world trip, and with this,sort of person, there will be more events.

That's annoying, I dislike pushiness like that. Won't surprise me if you get messaged again with emotional manipulation sprinkled on the top this time

"Fraid I can't help this time, good luck"

I would just tell her you don't sponsor people.
I only sponsor children, people doing worthwhile things such as litter picking , or people who are doing something meaningful to them such as raise money for the hospice that looked after their father who recently died of cancer. In all cases it is only close friends /family. And only if the entry costs are covered by them and not coming out of the raised funds.
I give to carefully selected charities by direct debit and feel this is more efficient than dribs and drabs to random causes that may not be doing anything worthwhile.

@Jeezoh Ha ha, I have a friend like that too. A few of us in our social circle got fed up sponsoring hers and her DC's exciting weekend activities.
@Cornettoninja I wondered that too about the sparsity of donations. Perhaps she joins new groups to exploit "fresh meat", sucks them dry and moves on!
@Tenbob No, no drip-feed. She hasn't divulged any back-story to reduce us all to tears and have us reaching for our wallets.
@Oldsockeater I'm with you on that. Happy to donate to meaningful causes -for people I know not pushy strangers- . When I do sponsored events I don't ask for sponsorship, I just donate the money myself, which is what I did for my most recent event. And I too have direct debits set up for charities I support.

Funnily enough I bumped into another group member at the shops in the week. This person is a member of many 'meetup' groups and I think she was a bit confused as to which group she knew me from. She asked how my sponsored event went and then started talking about a woman in 'another group' who's just joined but is being very pushy about sponsorship, and that she's not interested in other peoples personal campaigns/political leanings, she just wants a nice couple of hours every week doing a shared activity, have a coffee and a chat and go home.

In some ways I admire people who can push themselves forward - I've never mastered that skill.

Its a bit much for the group leader to be pushing it as well. How much did she donate?

I would be txting group.leader saying "as 'Deb' has pushed this in our faces 4 times and as i do not support her 'cause' i will not be sponsoring her. and none of her friends seem to be either" 😉

This reminds me of the year where it felt like every other woman I knew was doing "Race for Life." There seemed to be so many sponsor forms being waved around. I didn't have enough money to sponsor everyone, and some people got quite snippy about getting enough donations.
Now, my go to principle is I don't sponsor anyone. I'd rather give direct to a charity.
I also hate the people who want you to sponsor them for doing something exciting. Skydiving, walking the Great Wall of China, climbing Mount Kilimanjaro etc etc. I'm not paying for your holiday.

I so agree Cigars. I'm not paying for people's children's holidays either. Even if they are restoring a school in another country (in two weeks and totally unskilled).