Oh dear, sounds like you have been very reasonable. Bit of advice, if you are going to divorce, a lot of men who behave in ways which are likely to provoke divorce have got all their financial ducks in a row before heading down that route.... just in case. I have so many friends who suddenly discovered joint bank accounts being depleted, assets being transferred, employment becoming self employment. My advice would be to get all the financial information you can lay your hands on before asking for a divorce, take photocopies of everything to give a snap shot of how things really are now because if they haven't started changing, they are likely to begin to when he gets wind of you wanting to divorce. RE the children, lots of men go for 50/50 contact, largely, sorry to say, based on the fact that this leads to a 50/50 asset split. What do you want? What is the childcare split now? What career sacrifices have you made? What is the financial value of your and his unpaid labour (think if you had to employ two nannies, housekeepers, cooks, chauffeurs, tutors, and paid each one by the hour for their work, would your income from these jobs be greater than his, and by how much? Because that's effectively the value of your work, and if you are doing more if it, than him you deserve to have that recognised....). What do you need? Do you want to keep the house? Will he want to keep the house? It's astonishing how quickly men turn sour when asked for divorce, so do bear in mind that he might say lots of nice friendly things along the lines of how he will treat you fairly but when it comes down to it, chances are he won't. A male friend of mine advised me to get all my ammo together, and go in HARD at the outset, it was good advice that I didn't follow!