To stick my nose in with harassed mum hitting toddler

[RosyPrimroseface]

In the road the other day my DS was on my shoulders and he suddenly said "Why that mummy hitting girl?" I turned and saw a woman across the road slapping a girl (aged about 3).

It wasn't very hard but the girl obvs was crying a lot. And as DS noticed first, she had evidently hit her more than once, as i saw one and he the other.

I called across "Did you just hit her?!" in a voice which was definitely judgemental. And posh and annoying i expect. She said "I gave her hand a tap!"

I said "That's not good. It's not ideal."

Now. I was twatty and irritating. I didn't make life easier for the girl; as her mum then was even grumpier. Nor the mum, who was angry and gave me a bit of abuse, naturally. I don't think I should have commented.

But - I don't think it's ever ok to hit children, and maybe if there's more reaction from bystanders it will become generally less acceptable??

Or am i just a busybody? Interested to see balance of views.

Isn't this a duplicate thread?

Sorry op I think you were unreasonable as you just inflamed the situation.

sorry yes duplicate - my phone did it. apologies.

No worries easy to do, in terms of the thread I think you were right to say something just not like that. A couple of smacks are fine depending on how it's done and why but if it looked like a beating you were right to intervene

I thought beating children was illegal now?

You shouldn't have said anything. What she did was well within the bounds of the law and none of your business.

It's not something I would do myself, and I admit I would inwardly judge just as you did, I just wouldn't say anything unless it went beyond 'reasonable chastisement' as is permitted by law.

If you don't like the law, you should write to your MP, not shout at other parents in the street.

I think you did the right thing and I wish more people behaved like you.
It’s never ok to hit a child. No ifs or buts.

Your intervention was not helpful it sounded arrogant and judgemental and probably only annoyed the mother more and added to her stress. I run parenting courses and parents often admit to hitting their child when stressed and overwhelmed. I would sympathise with how stressed they must have been query with them whether they felt it helped improve the situation (answer always no) and ask whether they would like to discuss other options for dealing with the stess and loss of control. I feel the majority of people who hit their kids feel regret and guilt after and often support is what is needed not judgement.

I'll be honest with you, I'm a 33 year old male.
During the past my son has been extremely naughty and deserved a smack on the top of the leg.
Nothing too brutal but enough to know not to do it again.
I used to get smacked as a child, again nothing to brutal but enough to realise what I done was wrong and to deter me from doing it in the future.

I think it's ok as long as it's obviously not a beating.

As for your involvement I'd say it was wrong to get involved.

For all you know the girl could've spat at her mum or something.

I'd say in future I wouldn't get involved as long as it don't look like the kid is getting beaten up so to speak.

But I can understand your concern.

Well done for actually confronting the women, when most others wouldn't care less.

YANBU. You did the right thing. These people think they are invisible, she'll think twice next time.