First time poster here!
Bit of a backstory my dm and i have not been close for several years. Last year we went over 6 months without seeing each other due to her not wanting/couldnt be bothered. Due to location and public transport it took me over 2 1/2 hours to travel to her house but less than an hour by car for her to visit me. Out of the 5 years i lived there she visited twice and one time was to pick up my sister. She has no issue to driving hours away for other people such as boyfriends (one lived in the next town over and they dated for a year) or shopping. With phone calls it was usually her complaining about family and money and interupting anything i said.
Anyway my issue now is that me and dh have just bought a new house. And it is brand new. It is also 8hrs away from dm.
She is now talking about coming down and staying for a week. The issue is i dont want her to. Partly because we arent close and i have not spend more than 4 hours at once with her in 10years but also because she is not clean.
I left home because i could not stand to be living in an actual hoarder house. There was only one path through the house cause its overflowing with everything rubbish, newspapers, you name it. It is even worse now that she has pets. The dogs pee and poo everywhere and it doesnt get cleaned, food is always left out and rotten etc. And her personal hygiene is very low. She does have mental illness but has used it more of a shield to not do anything rather than get better no matter how many people have helped.
Aibu to not want her to stay in my new house? I know if she said here for a week she would shower only once and at least one outfit be covered in dog pee.
What would you do in this situation?