In brief (or as it turned out by the time I finished writing, not very brief at all!): I've been with my current employer for over a decade, started my job full-time as a single woman in my mid 30s, and am still there, now, in my mid 40s, married with two young, primary school age children, though now working part-time (21 hours/week).
The last few years have been tough for our family - challenges to our mental health and happiness have included the premature death of a close family member, a miscarriage, I think I probably had undiagnosed PND after my second child and since then have suffered periods of severe anxiety and I live with ongoing anxiety (amongst other things, I'm hypersensitive to noise as a result), while OH has suffered periods of depressions (still sometimes an issue but he is managing it through medication) and has been through periods of unemployment.
I've continued with the same employer throughout the time we've been together, while OH has held about half a dozen different jobs. As a result I feel that I've provided some security for our family through the really tough times, even though I've worked part-time since having the children (gradually reduced to 3 days over time). I really struggle with concentration and motivation at work, and I live with the feeling of constantly being found out that I'm not very good at it. I would happily walk away from it.
Even with my part-time working pattern, it feels to me like I just can't manage to balance working life and family life and domestic admin / house maintenance satisfactorily, without getting really stressed. Every now and then something happens to make me realise quite how stressed and anxious I am most of the time, and how I've almost accepted this as the norm. I drink a bit more than I should to relax, have a tendency to overeat due to stress, and haven't done any exercise in a long time, all of which is not a good recipe for longer term health in your mid 40s. Something needs to change.
OH has now been in his current full-time job for over 18 months - he doesn't love it but it ticks a number of boxes (and I don't think he's loved any job that he has done in the time we've been together). So he is back on a stable career track, though his depression does still cause him difficulties sometimes.
I really feel that I need to take a break from work. I'm mentally exhausted, and as much as anything, just want to have some quiet time to potter, put the house and garden in order, pick up some creative projects, spend more time with both my children and my parents while I can. I also have a business idea I'd like a chance to explore, which I don't currently have the headspace or time to even think about except in the most abstract and tentative way.
I don't think I can expect any further flexibility from my employer, but I've raised the possibility of a sabbatical with my manager, who has said they will look into it. But I'm getting close to thinking that if they won't agree to the sabbatical, I might consider resigning and taking the risk.
Surviving on a single salary would be tough, but I've budgeted carefully and think we could just about manage for a year or two. I would really like the opportunity to take a break from the stress of balancing work and family life, to get some good exercise habits in place, to spend more time with the children, to be less of a stress monster, and to finally get to put some time and energy into exploring this business idea I've been tossing around in my head for a few years.
But (1) I'm concerned about the risk of giving up a flexible, part-time secure job complete with a good pension scheme, especially at my age, and (2) I'm worried about the extra pressure this will put on OH, even though he is supportive of the sabbatical plan (possibly less so if I wanted to resign altogether).
Has anyone else taken the leap to leave a good job in their 40s? How did it work out? Do you have regrets?
I'm struggling with this, so would love to hear from anyone else who has experience of this or who has considered it.
Thank you!