AIBU to think no one 'gets' working nights unless they do them?

[Buswankeress]

This is slightly lighthearted and a bit of a whinge about it from a tired and grumpy arse at the moment. I'm interested to see if others experience this or if it's just those in my life that are ignorant!

I am feeling that despite knowing you have been awake all night, working a 10 hour shift, people still want to contact you over everything and anything, or even if they don't know, they call and you tell them, they plough on anyway, regardless of being told they've just woken you up.

I have just been shocked out of sleep by the dogs barking at the door, and it sounding like someone trying to bang it down. Throw on some shorts to under t-shirt I sleep in and stumble downstairs expecting to see a police officer or similar to find a charity worker. Explained that I have been night shift and this is not the time for me, and she just breezily replies that she won't take a minute of my time. Fair enough she didn't know before she knocked, but I basically had to say no, twice and shut the door in her face to get away! I have been asleep an hour.....and now I am wide awake because of the Adrenalin and because I am annoyed!

Do any other night workers feel like this? I work permanent nights and find people just don't seem to think you need to sleep at all! I'm not talking about the everyday noises that go with daytime life, they are to be expected and all part of working nights, and you can't expect the world to shut up because you're in bed. I have learned to sleep through most anything that you'd expect from a community during the day, sunny weekends can be more challenging, with lawnmowers and children playing, garden parties etc but it's all part of it. Windows closed and a good fan do the trick there.

It's the people that know I work nights, that I have been at work, and still insist on trying to get in touch with me during the day, and whinge when they can't!
Some of the reasons I have been woken for by people who know recently are -

School - clarify a small point that really could have waited, and been emailed, it didn't need an immediate answer. (DD told them I was nights) and teacher was audibly frustrated as I couldn't immediately answer the query because my brain wasn't at it's best having been shocked out of sleep.

Work (!!!!) - Do you know where X is, we can't find it. Again, not an essential item, could have sent a text asking me to ring when I got up.

Friends - can I borrow...? Do you have...? Are you coming on...?

Because of this I set up a do not disturb on my phone for certain numbers, and have had some stroppy texts and emails when I can't be contacted!
All these people are aware when I work, which nights, but the standard answer from them is "we thought you'd be up by now" or "you can go back to sleep" - why do they think it's acceptable though?! My days/nights are completely reversed, and when I get pissed off about a call at 2pm, that's not urgent, and suggest I call them at 2am to have the same conversation, suddenly that's not on!

WIBU to start doing it anyway? You know, because they can go back to sleep right?

There also seems to be an attitude that you should be up and about by 2.30/3pm anyway, I don't go to bed until 10ish after I have sorted dogs and horses, and usually get up about 5.30/6pm to eat and get ready. But I have actually been called lazy by colleagues because I 'sleep all day' - I don't call them lazy for sleeping all night!

Put a DND plaque on the door siting Night worker: uk.images.search.yahoo.com/yhs/search;_ylt=AwrIRhGAjERbjiwAzol3Bwx.?p=night+worker+signs&fr=yhs-avast-securebrowser&fr2=piv-web&hspart=avast&hsimp=yhs-securebrowser&type=1102#id=1&iurl=https%3A%2F%2Fimg1.etsystatic.com%2F110%2F0%2F12702738%2Fil_340x270.1101314739_tutg.jpg&action=close or any of these would work :) My mother was a night shift worker and she turned off the sound on her phone and dug down for the day between shifts.

I feel your pain, I did 10 years on permanent nights and got all of this. I worked out that even without interuptions I averaged 5hrs of sleep a day for a decade! I'm a stroppy cow though and thought this a price worth paying to be able to get on with my job without all the management hanging around!

I only stopped when I had the dc, after having to explain numerous times to the midwife clinic that a 2pm appointment was not so good for me - they did get it in the end and let me swing by for my checks first thing in the morning so there is hope.

God yes. My Mum used to ring me on the nose at 0930 after a 1am finish for a chat. She was baffled when I explained I wanted to be asleep. I did full 7-7 / 10-6 nights in the first two years of my career and never, ever again. The postman. The rubbish truck. The flat mates telling you it wasn’t their problem you worked funny hours. Shudder...

My mil used to phone me at 2pm knowing I had done a night shift. She was staying with us once and banged on my bedroom door at 2pm to say I had had enough sleep. I had gone to bed at 10am.

She only did it the once though as I nearly catapulted her down the stairs.

Yanbu.

yes I don’t think people get it unless you do it. I do mixed days and nights. I don’t know if I am coming or going. I don’t know how my family put up with me.

I used to work 11-7am and would be shamed by family for not being up by 9am!! Also some friends thought working nights meant I waa free all day. Erm no I do have to sleep and eat and exercise and wash at some point. Because it's so unnatural for humans to work at night I do think it makes you more tired on your days off, top

*too

You have my sympathy, I’m sitting here after everyone else has gone to bed waiting until I can leave for work. I do a mix of early, evening and night shifts and I absolutely resent and detest door knockers waking me up and acting like I’m a lazy for still being asleep/in pj’s after getting to sleep very late or early in the morning.

I used to do one or two nights a week. Dealing with the change from days to nights and back again was bad enough without idiots banging on the door, or my MIL creeping about having let herself in, saying in a stage whisper “don’t mind me, I’ll just potter about down here”
Even my DH could never work out that I didn’t want to get home on a Saturday morning after a 12.5 hour night shift on a Friday and stay up to go out with him during the day.
In the end I had a big tantrum and told them all to leave me alone.
I feel your pain Op.

OP it's just those in your life who are ignorant and can't work out that you too need 8 hours sleep.

Since childhood there have been shift workers amongst my family and friends. The lucky ones have done weeks of nights, while the unlucky ones have done variable shifts each day or week. Regardless I've seen a couple of them nearly pass out they were so tired and were a danger to themselves. So no I wouldn't wake them up and I don't expect them to do things until they are fully awake.

Yanbu. I'm baffled by people who have zero imagination or empathy (until it affects them)

I used to work shifts and the rota coordinator would call at 9 am to ask if I could work extra. She would do this if I had finished at 5pm 3 am or 7 am. I repeatedly asked her not to, as she knew I had been at work the night before, was on again tonight and was therefore likely asleep and the response was I should turn off my phone if I didn't want a call. I had unwell family so this was not an option and it was before the days you could set your phone to allow only certain numbers through

Basically she was an arsehole. And so I no loner work for them at all

I really do sympathise. I was once so tired after a night shift that I actually forgot my name! Someone phoned and asked to speak to MrsBadidea and in my exhausted state I honestly and truly thought that they meant my MIL and that I was still MissGoodidea.

On another occasion a friend phoned me - I pointed out that I was sleeping, she carried on regardless. I finally got her off the phone and just as I got back to sleep she called me back to tell me something she'd forgotten to say earlier I was seriously tempted to call her at 3am one day and see how she liked it.

It’s awful.
I had to work as I wanted to buy a house and car.

I worked 2 jobs one 10pm to 6 am then in a shop from 7am to 1pm. I was also at uni but rarely went to lectures and caught up at weekend.
Very short window of sleep in the afternoon & I got pestered all day when I got home. Eventually burnt myself out.
I get so mad when I see people complaining or on benefits that don’t know the meaning of proper work/ haven’t worked.

I used to do 1 or 2 nights per week. It was horrible. My usually reasonable DH used to expect me to sleep until 12pm and be able to go out for the afternoon. And if I got up for a wee or something he'd say "Oh Good, you're up!". You have my sympathy.

Earplugs.
Phone OFF
black out blinds
Do not respond to anyone.

I've just done 6 nights of 8-8 then from Thursday I'm doing 11 of 7-7.

I was like a zombie last week due to noise etc and the door going or the phone.

Dp is nights at the moment and I'm creeping about like a ninja.

YANBU. People that don’t work nights really don’t understand. If I work all night, I sleep all day. Why is that so hard to get?

I remember years ago my letting agency wanting to pop round for a visit and I said no because I was on nights. ‘Oh it won’t take long’, they said. I don’t care how fucking long it will take because I will be asleep! FFS! I’ll pop round at 2am shall I and see how you like it? I don’t think so.

I have several people who work shifts in my family and friends. I never try to make contact because I know that being woken is horrible and it is not just a question of going back to sleep. I know that they need to be the best they can be for the jobs they do. If anything happens during their sleep time I try to make the best decision I can without disturbing them.

Currently on Mat leave but my night shifts are 12 hours starting at 7pm or 8 hours starting at 11pm. My SIL works four weeks of "Nights" a year. They are 12pm to 8pm. Whinges all the time how hard her week of "Nights" are.
People really don't get it. They really don't.

My other thing is, all the people who say "I could never work nights"... Well, you could, if you have to be awake and get things done, you just do it.

DH works weeks of nights as part of his rota, and we have a finely honed routine as a family. It’s fine in term time when we’re all school in the day and not home till 5pm. He goes straight to bed when he gets back and then gets up around 4pm. At weekends or in the holidays it’s harder because the DCs want to wake him up, so we normally go out for as much of the day as possible and bring him back a swirly bun from the bakers to wake him up with a cup of tea at around 4pm. I try very hard to be considerate. It’s no walk in the park.

I do a mix of days and nights, half and half. I do find I am a zombie when on nights. My shifts are 12 hours so at least I have only three each week. I set my phone to only ring if the school call, anything else can wait. I usually ignore knocks at the door unless it keeps on and on. I have also had work contact me during the day after a night shift, bizarre! I agree that you don't get it unless you have tried it. The first shift of a run of them is the worst, I never manage to even nap during that day since I have had a nights sleep but am up usually from 0700. So am awake straight for about 26 hrs which is pure torture. Sometimes my shifts are split through the week like next week I am mon wed fri so I will have the 26 hour thing three times :-(

I had this conversation with a night shift worker last week. I worked permenant nights some years back. There was an arsehole boyfriend in the scene at the time. Each evening he'd phone me and asked what I'd done all day . When I'd told him I'd slept he'd take the piss saying if he did nights he'd spend the days at the gym, meeting friends etc. I'd try to explain that my days were his nights but he was too bloody thick to get it.

I have never worked nights so I can't empathise in that respect but I think it's great that you've posted because hopefully it will get people thinking.

I have had a couple of newborns, meaning that I averaged about 3 or 4 hours sleep out of 24. I also went through a period of a month where one of them slept so badly when she was older that I got a night of broken sleep every night and again, averaged about 2-3 hours sleep. It's not something that I could sustain, personally needing at least 8 hours sleep to function well. The thing is though, is that in the grand scheme of things this is short term and everybody is very sympathetic so it's ironic that people can't offer the same level of support to those who work nights.

When I was little I had a friend whose mum worked nights and I honestly thought that she simply didn't need as much sleep as other people. Growing up I thought she somehow had some special quality which allowed her to work nights and not need as much sleep as others. I'm wondering if those people who are annoying you never lost this and that they think that somehow you do need less sleep. Also, they see time pass and think X has been asleep for 6 hours now so that must be fine, not realising that 1) 6 hours isn't enough for you and 2) that you've had multiple interruptions. Broken sleep is NOT the same as a good night's sleep.

If I were working nights I would give everyone a stern talking to, to let them know not to interrupt me. I would also give all important people my landline number and turn my mobile off (no one has our landline number apart from a select few). I also wouldn't answer the door under any circumstances.

I've never worked nights but can't understand why anyone wouldn't get that you need 8 hours sleep just like everyone else on the planet! I guess that some people might sometimes forget (my husband works abroad a lot and occasionally I just have a mental block and don't think about the time difference) but can't believe people aren't really apologetic when they've woken you!! Please don't feel bad about turning off your phone for everyone, putting up a sign to not contact you in the day and repeat 'I work nights. This is my night time' until they get it. You could try explaining you live to Australian hours and ask them if they would contact someone there at the same time (CF's probably would!!). Makes me mad on everyone's behalf to read about the times people have been woken up deliberately because someone else has decided they've had enough sleep or 'should be awake'!