AIBU to be hopeful about having kids sooner?

[aintnousernamelikenousername]

Okay so I don't keep bringing it up intentionally, I feel as though it generally comes up quite naturally as there have been a lot of babies being born in our lives recently so I dont think I am actively bringing it up myself. We have been together for 9 months, he is 28 and I am 24. He says he would ideally have kids in 8 years time but to me that seems like a lifetime away.

When we have been talking about it more recently he seems to be coming round to the idea of having them sooner but only by a couple years, this still feels like too long to me. I know I COULD wait that long and still not be an old parent but it just feels like forever for me.

Plus there is no telling how long it will actually take. Everything else in the relationship is fine and we both have pretty good jobs for our age and are looking to buy a property together later this year. So i guess the question is shall I just resign myself to the fact I am going to have to wait a few years longer than I would like before I have children??

Well you've only been together 8 months anyway so wouldn't you want to give your relationship a good while longer before creating a lifelong commitment?

If you're 24 and only in a 9 month relationship, then I'd say the sensible thing to do is wait. I'm sorry if that's not what you want to hear...

Fuck me, slow down!

I think it depends on how you each reason it out.

On the one hand, 24 and 28 is a perfectly normal time to have kids, but for most (not all) couples, it's also plenty early and you could afford to wait. I get the broodiness - I think lots of people are really intensely broody in their 20s, as nature it telling you to get cracking. It can pass, or be less intense (did for me: though I never stopped wanting children and am delighted we have one, the intense broodiness of the 20s was gone before we had her).

Are you able to talk to him about why he wants to wait/what he sees changing?

If he's thinking he wants something measurable to happen, like earning a certain amount of money or whatever, that seems to me more reliable than a vague 'I don't think I feel ready,' which might change but might not.

If it was me, I'd wait for a bit, but only you can decide that one really.

Yeah definitely would be a few years, it just started as general talk about when we would like to have kids, not necessarily together. We havent actually had a proper talk about having kids together just when we ourselves might like to have them. same time we talk about marriage when it comes up about our friends wedding. Also when I said later this year about the buying property i actually meant late next year, nd obviously only if all goes well. We havent made any solid plans just general talk.

You should definitely wait. 9 month is nothing. You are still in the honeymoon phase and don't even live together!

we have also known each other since we were in secondary school and our parents are best friends so we have been quite close for a long time, just 8 months 'official', though it was kind of a long time coming!

I think he just wants to make sure he has saved a good amount of money first. An insane amount actually 😂

LRDtheFeministDragon I think you are right about the broodiness, I dont actually think I could cope with a child yet and definitely wouldnt want one unless I was in a more stable relationship. I just have a medical condition which might make having children harder so I guess I just worry about that too