Was he being manipulative and exaggerating?

[Icarriedawatermelon01]

Bit of background i split for my ExP about 18 months ago. He was EA, FA and MA towards me. I left before it got very serious but he is known for being manipulative.
We have got on for our childs sake and recently I thought we had put all the past behind us and moved on, keeping our DS's best interests at heart.
It was his weekend to have DS. I went out to watch the football with family and friends. He made a point saying he hadnt had a chance to watch it as he had DS on those nights. DS was fine friday, and Saturday daytime. However i started getting texts from ExP early evening saying DS had a temp. He gave him calpol and said it werent coming down. I was worried and he was being quite nasty on the texts. Saying i was being annoying and patronising. He said DS had been crying for 30 mins, but then he said he was crying because DS wanted to lay on his pillow. He gave him Ibuprofen just before he went to out of hours, which i met them at and i went into the doctors room with them. DS temp had come down loads and he seemed fine to me. All the doctors checks were fine. I stayed on the sofa that night in case DS got worse. But i werent needed and DS was fine in the morning and fine apparently for the rest of the day.

When i showed my DM and friend his texts they both said he seems like he is just trying to wind you up and spoil your night because he's jealous your out and he isnt.

Do people think he was doing this to ruin my night?

It definitely sounds like he was trying to ruin your night

Op what do you do when your ds is poorly and you have him? I assume you just get on with it, especially if you know your ex is out or busy.

He probably was jealous and trying to apoil your evening. What a shame. And, i am wary of going there because haven’t we all done that thing where we take a desperately hot, floppy, rashy toddler to the out of hours, only for them to perk massively up as soon as they reach triage, BUUUUT if he took your son on an unnecessary trip to hospital to give himself credence then that’s quite worrying.

Maybe the Ibuprofen worked?

Missvanjie yes i would just get on with it. The other month i was so poorly and DS was teething and i had to call out of hours for myself. I begged him to take DS as my parents were on holiday but he refused. I was in no fit state really to look after a child. That is the only time ive asked for his help, the other times i have dealt with it myself and made the decisions for my DS.
Worra yea it could have but why wouldnt he have tried that before calling 111. I know i would have tried calpol and if that didnt work within a hour then ibuprofen. Instead he gave it to him just before he left to go to the out of hours.

It's possible that the ibuprofen worked. My DD had to double up, so her DD could sleep. You wouldn't have believed the state that she had been in half an hour earlier.

I'd just see what happens next time, before i made a judgement.

Well, he sounds like a twat op

I see he had zero concern for your ds’s welfare when you were too ill to care for him properly.

And i note that he still had time, in the middle of his concern for your ds’s health, to find fault with your texts replying to him.

I don't think you can be sure. It's certainly a possibility, but it's also possible the Ibuprofen worked/son fought off whatever had been bothering him. When mine were little they always seemed to perk up just after their dad walked in for the day. But your Ex has form for being manipulative so I wouldn't dismiss the possibility.

I don't think there's anything you should do at this point. Keep an eye on it, remain skeptical but keep that to yourself. If it happens again maybe don't get so involved next time - just ask to be kept updated (unless you think he would actually endanger your DS).

this is a charity local to me who provide support for women whose ex partners are emotionally abusive. I don’t know if they can provide remote support (assuming you’re not also local), they do have an email, or they might be able to advise on a similar organisation close to you.

Of course.

Thank you for the link. I've been involved with my local DA charity and did some of the freedom course.
Looking back now I feel he was trying to ruin it for me which is so annoying!
Also just found he's put up a social media blog claiming how tough it is being a single dad and handing out advice. Is this guy for real! He has our DS 2 days every other week.

I've just now seen he has posted on the fathers for justice group saying he wants to volunteer! Why is he trying to make out he's like other dad's who don't see their kids. I've never stopped him seeing his. I'm so angry

Honestly, OP, you've got to see that as funny. He's just an arrogant twat who is feeling the pressure of childcare now that you have separated. And yes, he's jealous of you having time off when he has five days a week off. With any luck someone will rumble him on that site and hopefully he'll be in the DM with a very sad face.

I think I'm too angry atm to find it funny. More pathetic. He has some nerve to try make out he's one of them. I hope someone on the site does find out that he has access to his son whenever and has his son more than most dad's on that page.