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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask you how you handled MLM requests from friends?

41 replies

MLMLM · 09/07/2018 15:03

A good friend of mine (considered one of my best friends, at least until recently for reasons below) recently joined an MLM, albeit one of the more "respected" ones.

I'm happy for her as it seems to be working well and she loves it, I think she's made some good money from it. In fact it was me who suggested she try it as she was looking for a new job.

I'm a bit hurt because she hasn't asked me how I am or been in touch really for months except to ask about if I'd be a host (to be fair she has been busy with lots of other stuff and I've not exactly been hounding her). The problem is I do not want to host a product demo myself, so I want to make it clear, face to face so she can't take it wrongly, it's a no (again) without it affecting the friendship. AIBU to ask how you handled it?

OP posts:
ZoeWashburne · 09/07/2018 15:07

YABVVVU to recommend MLM to anyone! It ruins friendships and encourages CF at it’s finest. Unfortunately you reap what you sow- and saying someone should do MLM is asking them to only talk to you about MLM from then on.

Just keep saying no when she asks.

elQuintoConyo · 09/07/2018 15:08

So... You suggested an MLM and are put out and saddened that A she hasn't been in touch because she is busy with her new job (can happen in amy job) and B she is trying to sucker you into the same business that YOU introduced her to...

Karma Grin

Keep repeating 'no', 'no', 'no'. Suggest meeting for coffee/kids playdate or whatever, if nothing happens after 3 or 4 tries, delete from FB and phone and move on. Snip snip.

Seasawride · 09/07/2018 15:08

No is a complete word but guessing I am a lot older than you so deflected Tupperware, candle parties, knicker parties, Avon parties bloody awful airbonne or whatever it is it’s all crap. If it was good it would be in the shops.

Just say no you are not interested. If she stops calling she’s not a friend.

elQuintoConyo · 09/07/2018 15:09

Oh, that's how i've handled 3 MLM-involved people in my life. Two friends from tje same town, one cousin (in a different country) on FB. I cannot stand it. Off you fuck!

spanishwife · 09/07/2018 15:14

I'm happy for her as it seems to be working well that's what they tell you to say.. that's the entire business plan lol. I can guarantee, it is not. The whole premise is that people selling the products are the real customers as they have to buy 'stock'.

In fact it was me who suggested she try it as she was looking for a new job.
You've really made a rod for your own back. That is shocking and I actually think this situation, YABU! I can't believe you would encourage someone to work for an MLM who is short of money - that's borderline cruel. There's a reason people don't do it for more than 6 months. You don't make money off it.

There's a blog somewhere that is brilliant that I think both you and your friend need to read - hopefully someone will share it, I forget the name.

spanishwife · 09/07/2018 15:17

Found it: ellebeaublog.com/Poonique/

Original poster
MLMLM · 09/07/2018 15:21

YABVVVU to recommend MLM to anyone! It ruins friendships and encourages CF at it’s finest. Unfortunately you reap what you sow- and saying someone should do MLM is asking them to only talk to you about MLM from then on.

Yes, I see the irony, but I didn't know much about MLMs when I suggested it and I honestly thought this particular business wasn't a similar model.

OP posts:
Shumpalumpa · 09/07/2018 15:27

Tell her the truth. You've learnt the x company is MLM, and that you can't in good conscience support such companies because they're Ponzi schemes with only those at the top getting rich, that they target women especially SAHMs, that women are giving up proper jobs and careers with pensions for a pipe dream.

Original poster
MLMLM · 09/07/2018 15:29

spanishwife she's not short of money in the slightest and I know for a fact she did make money at first, because I know all the people who spent £1000s with her! I read all of those blogs, but after she joined. The co she works for isn't Younique, I think it's a lot more respected than them or Forever Living.

OP posts:
AmazingPostVoices · 09/07/2018 15:32

“No, I don’t want to host” firmly with a smile.

SoddingUnicorns · 09/07/2018 15:34

No thank you. Repeat as needed.

My SIL has been taken over by younique and I literally only speak to her to keep the lines of communication open between DP and BIL.

specialsubject · 09/07/2018 15:37

no such thing as a respected pyramid scheme, which is what these are in all but name.

It takes guts to admit you've made a mistake and have been suckered. That's why so many stick with this for so long. Perhaps you could redeem yourself by helping her escape?

and yes, it is all crap that would never sell without peer pressure. No MLM sells anything useful or reasonably priced.

allthefuckery · 09/07/2018 15:40

I really want to know what the company is now 🤔

twoshedsjackson · 09/07/2018 15:44

I have managed to deflect cosmetic MLM's by (quite truthfully) explaining that I have to be really careful to avoid allergies; the other goods - all I can suggest is being busy

spanishwife · 09/07/2018 15:50

@MLMLM it really doesn't matter how reputable the company is - the business model benefits the top 20 people and everyone else WILL lose money. It's a complete scam.

GlitteryTwat · 09/07/2018 15:55

There are no respectable MLM's.

Eventually after saying no, nicely, then firmer I've had to delete. Someone who is in the grips of a cult just doesn't hear 'no'

CuriousaboutSamphire · 09/07/2018 16:00

I missed part of her first sentence, I think. She asked me what I thought about a well known MLM and I laughed and said something about it being an expensive mistake for people who don't think before they leap.

She cried and left. We haven't spoken since!

OK< i wasn't that polite... but I really didn't think she was 'the type' to get sucked in!

Hoppinggreen · 09/07/2018 16:01

You helped create the monster and now you don’t like it?

henpeckedinchief · 09/07/2018 16:02

Why on earth did you suggest she try it if you were going to turn around and be pissed that she's asking you to host? You've basically encouraged her to get herself into a situation where she's financially dependent on hounding her friends to have host parties. The least you could do is have one tbh!

TheMonkeyMummy · 09/07/2018 16:08

As other PP's have said, why???

I would say that you are glad she is making it work (she isn't, it's all smoke and mirrors) but now that you have read up on things you don't feel like it's something that you ever want to be a part of. A friend of mine does FL and we have an unwritten rule that we don't ever speak about it.

Or show her this (pinched from Holy Flaps on Instagram)

To ask you how you handled MLM requests from friends?
pullingknots · 09/07/2018 16:12

I'm guessing Avon or Usborne?

CuriousaboutSamphire · 09/07/2018 16:15

I Love the Usborne reps.

Facebook Ad: Craft Fair next week - do you hand craft your goods? if so contact me
Hand made only... that is made by your own fair hands only.. contact me

First repsonse - Do you want an Usbornes stall hun?

And she got REALLY shirty when I asked her how she found the time to write, draw, paint and bind them all herself Smile

ScoobyGangMember · 09/07/2018 16:16

Is Team Beachbody an MLM?

LadyFlumpalot · 09/07/2018 16:17

How I handled it when a friend asked me to join Poonique:

First request: No, thank you - I already have a job.

Second request: Really, no thank you.

Third request: Ok, tell you what, you answer me this. If you get 10% commission then you'd have to flog at least £180k worth of makeup EVERY YEAR in order to even meet a basic living wage. Tell me how you manage that just by being on Facebook and show me your accounts books as evidence and I'll consider it.

fruityb · 09/07/2018 16:33

How did I handle it? Badly.

My friend, who reckons she wasn’t a girly girl and never wore make up which is utter bull, joined Poonique two years ago and is nothing but a #obsessivelygrateful #mumboss who can #bethereforherkids and has shown zero interest in my life ever since she joined. Unless you’re a y bot you’re out it seems. She joined when I was pregnant and has never ever been to see me or my son since. I was all there when her kids were born but I’ve lost her to the cult of the y sisters.

I hate MLM schemes and have been in touch with Elle mentioned above many times.

I was binned from my friends life, she badmouthed me and even when I tried to make amends she’s been kept at arms length as it’s just about earning rewards - such as a purple bathrobe or a new mirror.

“I neeeeeeed this perk so buy my shit”. No thanks - I’ll stick to my proper job and regular wage rather than bothering everyone I know to buy this crap.

I have bought make up from her and it’s overpriced shite. There’s no such thing as a respectable one either.