Alot of history here so will try to keep it as brief as possible. Me & dp have been together 15yrs, not married yet. Had date set for last year but due to dp health issues, a botched op and complications we had to cancel. No biggie so far we are happy as we are and are currently re planning for next year. Date we picked was an anniversary date for us (not many people are aware of this anniversary but MIL definatly knows).
Anyway just after xmas mil announced her an her partner are getting married next year. Planning starts and stops and starts for various reasons. Mil.then announces they are moving wedding to this year and using our date (obs i'm not very happy and neither is dp as we WERE planning on still using the same date next year) DP did tell her he wasnt happy but she shrugged it off.
Anyway. mil, sil and i have a strained relationship, sil hates me for "stealing her bro", has made me feel like shit for the last 15 years over choices me and dp have made. And sil's bff is just evil ( spread rumors about me to mil&sil-she apparently saw.me with another man the night dp was in hospital- i was at the hosp ALL NIGHT) at sil's wedding she stood (purposefully) infront of me when ever the camera was pointed my way. We were both brides maids (us 2 +kids) she planned the hen without me, didnt tell me where they were meeting up (i was sat in the taxi on my own ringing round to see where the were 20 mins before it started when i finally got there they had alrrady been there drinking for 2 hours). They bought my bm dress without me there it was 3 sizes too big and designed for a tall person. (Im barely 5ft) i pointed out to sil / bff dress doesnt fit (seriously i looked like a child dressing up in mummys clothes) and she said "oh well, thats what ive bought bff loves it. pin it together or pay to get it fixed or shove some sock down your bra or eat a bloody burger for a change instead of sticking your fingers down your throat !) . It cost me £75 to have the dress altered. (She paid £20 for the dresses then had the cheek to ask for it back after i had had it altered). I catered and decorated sil wedding, cost over £500. She gave me £150. (Lots of other things went on but this gives u an idea)
Now back to mil wedding. She wants my dds as bridemaids. Fine. She bought dresses and came round with them to try them on, she knows how old the kids are yet... bought dresses 3yrs too small (dd1 is 10, average size. dress is age 7. Dd2 is 8 slightly small for age but still fits age related clothes. dress is age 5) girls tried dresses on and lo and behold they dont fit, told mil and she screamed at me like it was my fault! She agreed to go change them, and came back with dresses suitable for standing on a street corner (really short and lowcut, not appropriate for the age of girls) dp pointed out he wasnt happy with his dds wearing them, she huffs n puffs but agrees with him then Blames me for being a prude! She goes back to the shop and cue loads of msgs and picture captioned "tell me whats wrong with this one/is this one good enough for you" . Finally dresses are sorted but mil is not happy with me. She has also said she not having a hen do as such prob just a meal with her mates, then sil txt me and says mums hen do.is on x date. I txt back and say i am away with work that weekend but have a great time etc. Ive had a barrage of abuse from the 3 of them. Im always making things difficult, they have to change things yet again for me blah blah. Ive msg back saying you have given me 1 week notice for hen do, i have had this scheduled by for for over 8 months i cant get out of it. But im being unreasonable. Ive ignored this.
Then dp visited mil on sat and txt me and said " mums just told me you're doing the decor un venue the night before wedding, i know shes a pain but i really appreciate you doing this for her"... wtf? Ive not agreed to anything. Ive questioned what he on about when he got home and apparently mil sil and bff have agreed that i should do decor because i did such a good job on sils wedding, they have had it planned for weeks that i would be doing it. (According to mil i was there the night it was decided- no i wasnt they were in the pub and i have nit been in a pub with mil or sil in over 4 years...) THEN he tells me mil has hired a makeup artist for the day, and apparently ive agreed to let dds wear FULL make up. Again ive agreed to nothing. I said they can have a bit of lippy on etc, but she is talking full make up and apparently i have already agreed. Dp not happy as he has seen the example photos of what she wants and again its not suitable for their ages. So aibu to tell them to stick their wedding, dresses, make up and decor up their arses?