To interfere? Special needs related

[BrownTrowsers]

I'm doing a course for employability at college after a long illness. On the course is another woman who I thought was mid 30s but turns out she's only early 20s. She doesn't take care of her appearance so looks a lot older than she is. She never speaks to anyone so one day I just went to sit with her. She was very friendly but no word of a lie rattled on and on for the full hour about old sega and Nintendo games. She was so enthusiastic about it all, exact dates of releases, all the characters, which console came out next etc etc. I was bored of it 5 minutes in but she didn't seem to notice and just went on and on. I had to cut it short in the end because it was giving me a headache So I made my excuses and went back to class. I then felt really guilty because she doesn't appear to have any friends so later I text her to see if she wanted to come to mine for a coffee. She said she had to wait in for the plumber so could I go to hers. I went and she didn't offer me a drink or anything, just walked me from room to room telling me about her teddies, their names, their characteristics etc (e.g. "This is Bouncer, she's a unicorn but she gets really excited and bounces around everywhere so I call her bouncer. This is Hester, he's really naughty and steals my coffee pods when I'm not in! I catch him in the fridge sometimes"

She also had a huge selection of coffees all arranged on the worktop but she says she doesn't like coffee - so looks like she's collecting them.

Clearly she has special needs but college are not aware. I know this because we filled forms in together and she listed no special needs or medical problems.

She's been trying for 3 years to get a job, gets interviews but never gets a call back after the interview. College can't understand why. WIBU to tell them she clearly has special needs?

Also she's early 20s and never had a boyfriend or any friends. DH thinks I should just stay out of it.

As an adult it is up to her to declare any disability or learning difficulty in order to get support. It is likely college are aware but they cannot force her to admit it.

She may have undiagnosed additional needs that haven’t been recognised by her parents

Not everyone’s parents will put their child through an assessment process, it’s a hard process and can take years

Being a friendly support to her is the first step, perhaps she may open up to you or she may be totally unaware of how she presents to others

If it’s as obvious as you say the college will be aware.
I’d encourage her to go for a job related to one of her interests - a video game shop for eg.

The thing is that if she has no diagnosis or isn’t even aware that she is behaving differently to her peers then it’s not up to you to tell her that.

Also, wrt the college, they may well know why she’s not been able to get a job i.e. because of the way she communicates with people, but again it’s not their place to bring it up as being SN related. That has to be down to her.

And did the college tell you that they don’t understand why she hasn’t got a job yet or did she? Because again, she may be saying that because she’s not in a place to take on board feedback about her potential conduct during interviews iyswim.

It really isn't any of your business and no you shouldn't inform college of your wisdom of her special needs the college will be aware of her personality be her friend or not but you don't need to interfere in her college course.

She sounds like a lovely person, but it isn't really any of your business. If you become friends, you might mention it to her, but please don't pretend to be friends if you don't genuinely enjoy her company and infodumping.