To think that some people never grow up...

[frasier]

I don’t mean in a good way, sense of humour, not taking life too seriously, I mean adults acting like children - sulking, answering back, causing trouble...

My MIL has held a vendetta against an exBIL for 20 years. She talks about him like a catty 13 year old. She lies to get him into trouble.

My FIL is a classic answererbacker, like a 5 year old and argues like a child (“I never said that! You take that back! I’m gonna tell DH!)

Why do some people get adulthood and others don’t?!

Just me who knows people like this then?!

I thought this was going to be about man children that you read about on here. I have not come across the above myself.

Yes I know of people like this though thankfully I haven't associated with them for many years, one was actually my first boyfriend and it amazes me that I actually really loved him.

I had a bust up with his brother back in 2007 though I won't go into the pathetic details. I saw said brother walking on the other side of the street a couple of years later. He waved hello, I just ignored him and looked away at which point he hurled a ton of "aaaah you fucking fat slag" or something equally as juvenile at me. I'm a size 12 lol and he must have been pushing 40 years of age!

The pair of them were always the type of twats to somehow end up with £50 and blow it on a PlayStation game and a bag of weed rather than putting food in the fridge or something normal.

Utter losers xx

Maybe it IS just my ILs?! (Cut off now)

I have 2 siblings and an ex like this. (and a few neighbours). Yes, things would be ever so much nicer if people could just act like adults.

Most of my family and DHs family are like this. It's exhausting, extremely draining. I have to mentally prepare for family visits and occasions.

My exh was a complete toddler (twat) at times.
That's why he is an ex!!
Nc is the way to go op.
Can def recommend it!

I've worked with someone like this. She tried all sorts of silliness but when she gave me the silent treatment- we were the only two in the room - I thought she was having a stroke or something as she looked past me glassy eyed and was totally unresponsive . It wasn't until I was lifting up the phone to call the first aider she relented, weirdo! That said, it sounded like she had a f*d up childhood

I started a new job recently, managing quite a large team. I am actually younger than most of my team by quite a few years but oh my god, it feels like I'm marshalling a kindergarten most days. Grown women in their thirties and forties talking about "haters" and endless HR write ups because somebody gave somebody else the "evil eye" or "hated on" them. Grown adults, again, who "identify" in various combinations of gender and non-gender and want to talk about their pronouns all the time like we are teenagers exploring our sexualities and inner selves for the first time: first one-to-one with some dude I manage and he reels off a speech at me about all the above and ends with a reasonably confrontational "do you have any questions for me?" "No", I said. "You must have some?", he persisted. "No", I said. "It feels like you're dismissing my identity", he said.

Oh, and the endless bullshit like somebody refused a biscuit when they were offered one and this was a passive aggressive act to make the offerer feel bad about being fat.

I grew out of all this shit when I was approximately 15 and didn't think I'd find myself dealing with it all again in a workplace.

I think we all have the potential to revert to the oldest part of our brain when angry. Some adults do seem to spend more time using their reptilian grey matter than is helpful in 2018.

Yes you've described my MIL. In her case it's because she was a late wanted baby overrindulged by her parents then married a doormat of a man who worships the ground she walks on. Imo.

ComtesseDeSpair Yes MIL does the evil eye thing. Gives it and gets it apparently 😂

When my ‘rise above it’ filters stopped working in the sweaty misery of late pregnancy last year, I had to stop going to work meetings so I didn’t say what I meant (which was usually “if one of my year 7s spoke to another person that way they would, according to the school behaviour policy and my belief in good manners and empathy, be sent out. You are a 50 year old man. Do better or go away.”

Every one acts a bit childish sometimes.

Oh, and the endless bullshit like somebody refused a biscuit when they were offered one and this was a passive aggressive act to make the offerer feel bad about being fat.

Yep, that’s also my MIL. Everything is a fight or a slight.

Her cousin stopped answering the phone to her. This is not allowed! She bombarded her with texts and phone calls and then travelled to turn up on her doorstep. Turned out cousin had had a stroke and was recuperating but didn’t want anyone to know.

When I cut her off I told her in plain terms. She still sent messages, texts, emails, phone calls... Like a spurned teenager. All very odd! But we moved and didn’t tell them so if she turned up on my doorstep, she was out of luck!

It deoends what your definition of 'causing trouble' and 'answering back' is! What you call 'answering back' - is just someone responding to something. Are you saying you've never had an argument with some one? They may see you as the trouble maker. You're only seeing things from your point of view.

Lethaldrizzle

“Answering back”...

Me: Please don’t use homophobic slurs in front of DS
FIL: I’ve never done that in my life. You’re a liar, a bloody liar!
Me: You’ve just told DS his father was a *. If you say it again you will have to leave.
FIL: You’re a bloody liar! I’m telling DH on you! I’m telling everyone what you said! I can say what I like, you’re not tyhe boss of me. Anyway YOU said it not me, I’m going to tell them you said it!

🙄

So yes your fil is childish but my point is you probably are sometimes too. We all are because we're human!

Oh @Lethaldrizzle, no we are not. If you act like that, please get help. It is a sign of poor mental health